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AIBU?

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Original poster

Email from my ex husband...

458 replies

Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:12

Dear Arlanymor, sincerely hope you are well. I need to know the date of our wedding because I have to fill in an X form. Are you able to remember please? Best regards, Ex Wanker.

Sent to my WORK email. Which means he had to look it up online.

I divorced him for adultery nearly two decades ago now. Also the clue is in 'our wedding' isn't it? You were there on the day dickhead. We haven't been in contact since 2019 when he kept coming up as having looked at my profile on LinkedIn and I got in touch via their messenger to ask him not to.

This has got me so angry. "Oh Arlanymor - do me a favour please? Even though I am a cheating arsehole and should be able to fill in forms without bothering/the assistance of my ex-wife." The date is on the decree absolute you absolute toilet goblin.

FUMING. FUMING. FUMING.

OP posts:
Chatterboxy · 09/04/2025 17:15

Just ignore it!

thesnailandthewhale · 09/04/2025 17:15

Thank your lucky stars you are free of him xx

Onthelinetoday · 09/04/2025 17:16

Just press delete

Aliflowers · 09/04/2025 17:18

I’d reply I can’t remember.

UndermyShoeJoe · 09/04/2025 17:19

Sorry who’s this?

block and delete 🤣

IrritatedEarthling · 09/04/2025 17:19

Yanbu to use the term toilet goblin.

Give him the wrong date 🤡

RhaenysRocks · 09/04/2025 17:20

Loving "toilet goblin"..I shall be looking for an opportunity to use it forthwith 🤣

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 09/04/2025 17:20

Give him the date you confronted him about his adultery. Then block him.

Auldy · 09/04/2025 17:21

You don't need to be fuming. You can just smile and delete and be thankful he isn't in your life anymore. Why are you allowing him to have this much control over your emotions?

socialdilemmawhattodo · 09/04/2025 17:21

IrritatedEarthling · 09/04/2025 17:19

Yanbu to use the term toilet goblin.

Give him the wrong date 🤡

Yes give him the wrong date.

Hoardasurass · 09/04/2025 17:21

I'd send the wrong date but I'm an arse hole like that

HappiestSleeping · 09/04/2025 17:22

Error 404.

File not found.

Email from my ex husband...
nessiesnotreal · 09/04/2025 17:22

I divorced my XH 2 decades ago for the same reason and have not spoken to him since. If he emailed me with this info I would just reply with the date. But I have moved so far past all the crap he put me through and risen above it that it wouldn't bother me in the slightest to reply with the info he has asked for.

Not replying would make me feel like he thinks he somehow still bothers me after all these years, which he doesn't. I have no interest in being petty or punishing him for his past bullshit because he is that insignificant to me. But that's just me and how I would look at it.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 09/04/2025 17:23

New and improved life, who dis?

Toilet goblin made me snort 🤣

Original poster
Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:23

Auldy · 09/04/2025 17:21

You don't need to be fuming. You can just smile and delete and be thankful he isn't in your life anymore. Why are you allowing him to have this much control over your emotions?

It's not control to be fair, I think it's just my immediate reaction. The fact that he thinks it's fine after everything he did to casually pop into my work inbox like I am some free admin service. And 'best regards' - bland corporate politeness like it's a favour he's even entitled to ask. More than anything it's the shock because seeing his name in my inbox really did make my heart stop for a moment - I think it would to anyone to be fair. Even if you know you are better off without someone, old wounds twinge when they are poked.

OP posts:
PinkPonyClubber · 09/04/2025 17:23

Can you mark it as spam or set up to go into a specific folder if he emails again.

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 09/04/2025 17:25

YABU to let this “toilet goblin” (ha!) invoke this reaction in you after so long.

YANBU to block and ignore. Or give the wrong date then block and ignore. Or tell him you just don’t remember it was so long ago, but it was almost certainly in x month (get the wrong month) then block and ignore.

Katemax82 · 09/04/2025 17:26

My husband of 25 years can't remember our wedding date

crockofshite · 09/04/2025 17:27

He's a cheeky bastard. Delete and forget.
As you said he can easily get the information without asking you. Do you think he's looking for a way to get back in ongoing contact with you?

Gowlett · 09/04/2025 17:28

Toilet goblin, I’m dying…

CautiousLurker01 · 09/04/2025 17:28

Ignore it. He can do a search on line (ancestry.co.uk) and find the dates if he puts his name and yours in a family tree.

GabbySolisX · 09/04/2025 17:29

Another vote for replying you can’t remember 😂

Original poster
Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:31

crockofshite · 09/04/2025 17:27

He's a cheeky bastard. Delete and forget.
As you said he can easily get the information without asking you. Do you think he's looking for a way to get back in ongoing contact with you?

I did wonder about that because it's on the bloody decree absolute! I think that's why it gave me a bit of a lurch in my stomach because he absolutely can get that information in other ways.

OP posts:
Original poster
Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:32

Katemax82 · 09/04/2025 17:26

My husband of 25 years can't remember our wedding date

Not the same situation though is it.

OP posts:
SeventeenClovesOfGarlic · 09/04/2025 17:33

Are you going to reply?