Email from my ex husband...

[Arlanymor]

Dear Arlanymor, sincerely hope you are well. I need to know the date of our wedding because I have to fill in an X form. Are you able to remember please? Best regards, Ex Wanker.

Sent to my WORK email. Which means he had to look it up online.

I divorced him for adultery nearly two decades ago now. Also the clue is in 'our wedding' isn't it? You were there on the day dickhead. We haven't been in contact since 2019 when he kept coming up as having looked at my profile on LinkedIn and I got in touch via their messenger to ask him not to.

This has got me so angry. "Oh Arlanymor - do me a favour please? Even though I am a cheating arsehole and should be able to fill in forms without bothering/the assistance of my ex-wife." The date is on the decree absolute you absolute toilet goblin.

FUMING. FUMING. FUMING.

🤣🤣🤣

“Toilet Goblin” made me howl. I have an ex who’s one of those too.

😂 the stuff of nightmares!

Yes, women, next time your cheating ex-husband contacts you out of the blue and asks you to do an admin task he can't be arsed to do himself, make sure you acquiesce with good grace because you don't want to look like the bad guy.
🙄

That would be a foursome..

Oh don't make me touch them - I was hoping to get away with being a voyeur and therefore not actively involved?!

I totally get it. It's (a) that would annoy me most. After all this time he thinks you'll act like his PA or wife?!

I'd just reply:

"Sorry - not a clue - it was so long ago. It'll be on the decree absolute though.

Regards [no "kind" or "best"]

Anlanymor"

Then mark his email as Junk.

I would respond though as he'll only keep emailing otherwise and it'll annoy you even more.

it would have been far easier to have just replied with the date then it was all over and done with in a few seconds.

But that’s demonstrably not true because he then also followed up with questions such as when was the decree absolute issued, what was the location where the decree absolute was issued.

As soon as you give these twats ONE inch, they take a mile.

Jesus, twenty years after splitting and he still expects you to do his life admin (the wife work), I'd have struggled to be as polite as you were, well done. Now forget about the prick (and the posters who didn't seem to get it at all) and have a lovely weekend.

Fair enough 😂

Thanks so much, I really do appreciate it. The weekend is definitely beckoning and if this nice weather sticks I will be downing tools early and going for a walk on the beach to let the wind blow this unpleasant experience away.

My ex did something a bit like this. Nearly 20 years after we split up, he put a note through my door telling me about the death of one of his friends (someone I always avoided post split as they sided with my ex). I'm sure he only did it to try and initiate contact. I just ignored it,but it was annoying, so I can appreciate how the OP feels.

And he didn't do that when she replied as she did....
Oops, hang on a minute!

🙄🙄

don’t reply!

If I got this email from my ex I would feel exactly the same as you. Your reaction is not strange, we are all human and we all react to things in our own way and a lot of that is not under our control.

I’d just reply with “April 1st X year”

He did, so logic says he would have asked even more questions had OP given him the date.

Why are you desperate for OP to help him?

Never attribute to malice (or ulterior motives) what is readily explained by incompetence. He couldn't be bothered to look it up so he thought he'd ask you, and probably worked out your email address because he can at least remember your name and what company you work for, and as a bonus he'd win a rise out of you.

As House said :"that Delete button is so convenient, isn't it?"

Happy forgetting x

Could very well be incompetence - but I haven't worked in the same job for 20+ years, I work in a completely different country now in a completely different role. So the amount of energy expended on tracking me down would have been better spent getting duplicate copies of paperwork.

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

i'm not at all desperate for her to help him, I don't give a flying whether she helps him or not, it was never about helping him. It was about getting him to fuck off the easiest way possible and in my opinion that was to just give him the date yes he may have come back about the decree but he came back anyway.

My opinion is just that, mine. I don't see why everyone has to keep arguing with it and tagging me.

I'm not desperate for people just won't let it die for fuck's sake.

The OP is not a survivor of domestic violence. The OP husband had an affair and she divorced him because of it.

@Arlanymor He might have just googled your name and it came up in Linkedin!

Totally get why you would say that and most of my previous roles are on there. But current organisation doesn’t have a LinkedIn account, I am in the process of setting one up for the organisation… so he definitely had to have a good google for me. When what he should have done was just get hold of another decree absolute and it probably would have taken him the same amount of time.

I'd just send one word in response...dunno. the fact that you can't even be bothered to write more than that will piss him off.

OP I second Mudflaps. That's from someone once married to another military toilet goblin who would also be unsettled by the idea that a non reply could get complicated if tg pushed it on the work email front. Huge respect to you/ have a great w/e.