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AIBU?

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Original poster

Email from my ex husband...

458 replies

Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:12

Dear Arlanymor, sincerely hope you are well. I need to know the date of our wedding because I have to fill in an X form. Are you able to remember please? Best regards, Ex Wanker.

Sent to my WORK email. Which means he had to look it up online.

I divorced him for adultery nearly two decades ago now. Also the clue is in 'our wedding' isn't it? You were there on the day dickhead. We haven't been in contact since 2019 when he kept coming up as having looked at my profile on LinkedIn and I got in touch via their messenger to ask him not to.

This has got me so angry. "Oh Arlanymor - do me a favour please? Even though I am a cheating arsehole and should be able to fill in forms without bothering/the assistance of my ex-wife." The date is on the decree absolute you absolute toilet goblin.

FUMING. FUMING. FUMING.

OP posts:
Original poster
Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 18:13

LBFseBrom · 09/04/2025 18:12

I like 'toilet goblin' and will borrow it if you do not mind.

He's an idiot, he only has to look online and can find it for himself.

By all means! He definitely is one!

OP posts:
kittensinthekitchen · 09/04/2025 18:14

"I will forward your query to my wife. She has dealt with all my private documents since we met in 1999"

JHound · 09/04/2025 18:16

I would delete it without response.

Pinepeak2434 · 09/04/2025 18:17

I’d ignore it. Usually the best way to deal with these things.

Velvetgoldmine · 09/04/2025 18:17

Toilet goblin! Definitely stealing this. 😂

nutbrownhare15 · 09/04/2025 18:18

I'd say I can't remember either and you lost the decree absolute in a house move but hopefully he still has his.

Bepo77 · 09/04/2025 18:19

Why can’t you say what he needs it for? Pretty sure no one can identify you from saying your ex husband sent an email…

LondonPapa · 09/04/2025 18:20

nessiesnotreal · 09/04/2025 17:22

I divorced my XH 2 decades ago for the same reason and have not spoken to him since. If he emailed me with this info I would just reply with the date. But I have moved so far past all the crap he put me through and risen above it that it wouldn't bother me in the slightest to reply with the info he has asked for.

Not replying would make me feel like he thinks he somehow still bothers me after all these years, which he doesn't. I have no interest in being petty or punishing him for his past bullshit because he is that insignificant to me. But that's just me and how I would look at it.

Yeah. The best way to ensure there is no crossed wires, or one upmanship etc. is to just send the date, and nothing else. Otherwise it opens the door to hurt all over again, and he’ll know!

Original poster
Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 18:22

Bepo77 · 09/04/2025 18:19

Why can’t you say what he needs it for? Pretty sure no one can identify you from saying your ex husband sent an email…

It's military so would rather not.

OP posts:
TiredShamrock · 09/04/2025 18:22

Another person here loving the phrase toilet goblin! OP you sound fabulous. Don't give him another moment of thought. Just ignore the email and maybe set up a rule so that any more emails from toilet goblin’s email address go straight in the bin. Onwards xx

tobee · 09/04/2025 18:23

viques · 09/04/2025 17:44

Tell him you have now had several marriages and can’t remember which one his was. Give him three dates to choose from.

🤣🤣

SlightlyJaded · 09/04/2025 18:25

who dis?

TopNarcTip · 09/04/2025 18:25

What a twat. Ignore. Totally. Just delete it. He could easily find out. I suspect he’s hoping you ask about the form and he can pull you back into communication.

TomatoSandwiches · 09/04/2025 18:25

Perhaps message him something like,

Of course, the date was xx xx xxxx.
I'm not surprised you forgot it tbh considering you many times you forgot to keep your dick in your pants during the marriage also.

Hope that helps,

Regards,

Arlanymor

And then block him.

Maray1967 · 09/04/2025 18:26

soarklyknobs · 09/04/2025 17:58

You divorced him 20 years ago and yet he still wants you to do wife work for him 🙄

I would either:

a) never respond, or
b) respond with 👌

And proceed to respond with any further messages in the same way.

Wife work is not your job any more 🤷‍♀️

Yes, this is a wife work one. He still expects you to relieve him of the boring admin work that he can’t be bothered to do himself.

loobylou10 · 09/04/2025 18:27

‘It will be on your decree absolute’

MrsAga · 09/04/2025 18:28

Can’t remember off top of my head. Suppose I could look it up if I needed it. But so could you.
Best regards.

socialdilemmawhattodo · 09/04/2025 18:28

SlightlyJaded · 09/04/2025 18:25

who dis?

GrinGrin

MindlessDaydream · 09/04/2025 18:29

Block and delete so you're not blindsided by him again. He can easily find the information himself.

ARichtGoodDram · 09/04/2025 18:29

I'd ignore it. If he ever complains to anyone just shrug and say you can't use your work email for personal use.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/04/2025 18:32

I would be tempted to say “One of the great things about being divorced is that I don’t have to do your admin.”

orangedream · 09/04/2025 18:32

Delete and block. He's probably the sort to be enraged if he's ignored. You're still supposed to jump when he says so. Tosser.

Ewock · 09/04/2025 18:35

Delete and ignore. He spent as much time looking up your work email as he could have spent looking on his copy of the decree absolute. You are not there to do his admin, he'll have to be an adult and find out for himself

Lucelady · 09/04/2025 18:37

Online certificates on gov.
Cf for asking.

I'd be tempted to say no idea mate, look it up!

Freshflower · 09/04/2025 18:39

I'd just say sorry I can't remember either or just give a completely wrong date