DS(8) not invited to party

[idontunderstandwhy]

Dh used to compete and be a sports coach so we have a section of our garden built up and dedicated to that sport. He just teaches our dc and they play there now.

Ds has mostly had garden parties and then and on play dates his friends play there also.

Mum of one of his friends at a past play date mentioned her ds would love to learn do the sport and do something like this for his birthday but couldn’t find anywhere near.
Dh said that he’s welcome to come and practice whenever and actually could have party here if she couldn’t find anywhere else.

It was then agreed her ds could have his party in our garden and borrow equipment we had but that obviously over wise party organising is her responsibility. She has other entertainment, food arranged ect, party is quite soon.

She’s now said that she doesn’t think my DS should come as she’s worried the fact it’s his house/garden and he is good at the sport will take the shine of her DS and people will think it’s my DS’s day instead. And as it’s an out of school friend he would only know a few of kids anyway.

She never specifically said ds was invited we just assumed and we probably agreed based on that assumption.

I don’t think its fair to have ds locked in the house or taken out when his friends and boys his age playing in our garden and am shocked she thinks this is an okay suggestion.

AIBU it’s only fair ds goes?

I'd be rescinding the offer, she is taking cheeky fuckery to new levels here.

Tell her to find another venue. Cheeky cow.

This!!!!!! The ENTITLEMENT of some people blows my mind!

What a bloody cheek!!! I would charge her for "hiring" the equipment and spend it on your son

Unbelievable!
Tell her to take her “star” elsewhere.

I’d be telling her that your garden space is no longer available for the party.

No, she cannot be allowed to use the OP's garden and not invite the son, even if she does pay.

WTF?

Tell her that you can no longer accommodate her party and tell her she's an utter cheeky fucker.

She will just hump and sigh and probably slag you off to others if she's made to invite your son. Make sure you make others aware of her behaviour.

Take the shine off, what a twat

That’s so rude a response to your very kind offer. I’d also tell her to find somewhere else, totally unfair to your son .

Haha what is WRONG with people?! It’s in his own back garden and he’s expected to just stay indoors? This woman is mad. Tell her your son will be using the garden and the equipment whether he’s invited or not!!

Thankyou for the replies, I hadn’t yet replied but needed to check I wasn’t being unreasonable and missing something.

Party is very soon and would be putting her out a lot to cancel. I think the most reasonable option would be to just insist it’s only fair that ds gets to go and I think she would agree to that above cancelling the whole party.

Just when you think you have heard it all, something like this comes along. Wow.

I would tell her that it no longer works for you and she will need to make other arrangements. The end. Seriously, what a deranged monster she is.

This.

"If that's the case then I'm going to have to rescind the offer, as we are unwilling to vacate our home and garden for you to hold an event"

I'd not reignite it if she backtracked either. Your house is now off the table.

Haha, good luck finding another venue then love.

You’re worried about putting her out? She didn’t worry about using you and insulting your DS.

Party is very soon and would be putting her out a lot to cancel. I think the most reasonable option would be to just insist it’s only fair that ds gets to go and I think she would agree to that above cancelling the whole party

How could you even look her in the face at the party after that stunt though? I’d now naturally look like a sucked a lemon whenever I looked at her, wouldn’t be deliberate, just a visceral reaction to what a deranged cow she is.

I’d still let the party go ahead but I’d charge an entrance fee per child…maybe around £19.99 per head (money to go towards toilet facilities, hand washing, towel laundry, carpet wear & tear, presents for neighbours before they complain about the noise made by children who don’t live at your property, waste disposal etc etc etc)
If this isn’t agreeable she can a,ways find somewhere else!

Why are you trying to be reasonable?

There is absolutely no excuse for an ask like this. You'd allow this CF to disrespect your home and family?

Straight cancel.

These people will never learn until they see the consequences of their own inappropriate behaviour.

I disagree, I'd WANT to put her out just because she is being so much of a CF.

I don't think I'd want my DC to be an "ok if you insisted " invite. They deserve more

I would just say it’s ds home & garden so he’ll be there, if she doesn’t like that then she needs to find another venue. Cheeky mare!

I'd seriously judge you more for letting this CF walk all over you and your family/home

Absolutely wouldn’t want her near my house. How on earth did she think your DS would feel? It would be a cancel from me.

This. Now

Say this!

"I don't want DS to be locked inside whilst the party happens or for him to be invited just so you can use our garden, so on that basis I am rescinding the offer"