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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Gave Granddaughter's Mum £250 towards her 3rd birthday party

421 replies

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:45

She couldn't decide which nursery friends to invite. Whether it would be 360 or local Wacky.

I gave her £250 towards either.

She's going to Sea-Life Centre with her Mum.

So, not only no party. No invite either.

I'm a bit pissed off to be honest.

OP posts:
Growuppeople · 08/04/2025 23:47

What?

WearyAuldWumman · 08/04/2025 23:47

So the money has been taken under false pretences?

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:48

I've had a shocker of a day though. £19 entry for something up the road...

Of course I hope GD has a lovely day. I think my £250 was long gone.

OP posts:
saraclara · 08/04/2025 23:48

Jeeze. She accepted money specifically for a party, and spent it on her and her mum having a day out with your DGC?

Hoydenish · 08/04/2025 23:49

Yeah I see your point.

Have you spoken with your son about it?

saraclara · 08/04/2025 23:49

Honestly, I'd ask what happened to the money you gave her specifically for a party.

YamsVsEggplants · 08/04/2025 23:50

I'd ask for the money back. Along the lines of "As you've decided to not have a party now, are you able to transfer the £250 back please? I'd like to put it towards a treat / gift / day out with granddaughter for her birthday. Enjoy the sea life centre"

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/04/2025 23:50

That’s appalling. Very disappointing for you, I’m sorry.

Buttonknot · 08/04/2025 23:50

That's shocking OP. Lesson learnt for next time I guess.

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:50

WearyAuldWumman · 08/04/2025 23:47

So the money has been taken under false pretences?

In my eyes, yes. It was given 2 months ago so she could get it all sorted and booked. She sent me links to prices. It's gone now. I don't have £250 to spare, clearly I did!

OP posts:
Hoydenish · 08/04/2025 23:52

What a bloody shame. You'll not do that again and I won't blame you one iota.

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:52

Hoydenish · 08/04/2025 23:49

Yeah I see your point.

Have you spoken with your son about it?

We have seperate relationships. They aren't together. He pays towards childcare.

OP posts:
TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:53

I feel like crying.

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 08/04/2025 23:54

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:50

In my eyes, yes. It was given 2 months ago so she could get it all sorted and booked. She sent me links to prices. It's gone now. I don't have £250 to spare, clearly I did!

I'm sorry. She's taken advantage of you. No doubt she'll say "But I spent it all on GD!"

Hoydenish · 08/04/2025 23:54

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:53

I feel like crying.

Oh love, don't cry. You're a lovely person who has been horribly taken advantage of.

Hoydenish · 08/04/2025 23:56

And I'm really sorry you've had a tough day.

purpleme12 · 08/04/2025 23:57

YamsVsEggplants · 08/04/2025 23:50

I'd ask for the money back. Along the lines of "As you've decided to not have a party now, are you able to transfer the £250 back please? I'd like to put it towards a treat / gift / day out with granddaughter for her birthday. Enjoy the sea life centre"

Do this

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:57

Hoydenish · 08/04/2025 23:54

Oh love, don't cry. You're a lovely person who has been horribly taken advantage of.

I'm not lovely though as I just messaged saying "I hope some of that 250 went on GD".

Not very mature. She's early 20s lip fillers, eyebrows...

Looks like me and GDs Dad will be taking her to the park for a picnic!

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 08/04/2025 23:58

Well she needs to return it. Even if it was to cover a trip to sea world or whatever for two people, surely that's nowhere near £250?

Did she think the money was a gift? If so what did she actually spend it on for the kid?

You need to question this as it's clearly not been used for anything close to it's intended purpose. You may need to speak to her Mum/dad as well as they won't be happy the money didn't go towards their grandchild's birthday party?

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:58

Hoydenish · 08/04/2025 23:56

And I'm really sorry you've had a tough day.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Apileofballyhoo · 08/04/2025 23:59

I'm sorry you had a tough day too. Flowers

Hoydenish · 08/04/2025 23:59

Well I don't think you're awful for texting her that.

And a picnic in the park will be fun.

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/04/2025 00:01

You need to ask for the money back.

Never give her money again, offer to book things or buy things instead so you know it is actually going towards what you want it to.

TheBuffetInspector · 09/04/2025 00:03

Hoydenish · 08/04/2025 23:59

Well I don't think you're awful for texting her that.

And a picnic in the park will be fun.

It'll be more fun. I'll make sure of it 😂

I can't ask for the money back.

Maybe she thinks I'm thick! A day out is a lot of money, but it wasn't what it was for.

I'm just ranting, I won't see it again. She'll not thank me kindly for my arsey text. I'll be getting it in the ear tomorrow via the voice thingy!

OP posts:
TheBuffetInspector · 09/04/2025 00:06

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/04/2025 00:01

You need to ask for the money back.

Never give her money again, offer to book things or buy things instead so you know it is actually going towards what you want it to.

Lesson learned!

I expected everyone to say well you gave her money towards 3rd birthday... But there was a definite discussion about booking a party v's just turning up at venue - party can often be cheaper if food included and lots of kids... She asked my advice 🤣

Muggins here.

OP posts: