Gave Granddaughter's Mum £250 towards her 3rd birthday party

[TheBuffetInspector]

She couldn't decide which nursery friends to invite. Whether it would be 360 or local Wacky.

I gave her £250 towards either.

She's going to Sea-Life Centre with her Mum.

So, not only no party. No invite either.

I'm a bit pissed off to be honest.

Is there any chance she's struggling for money and it went on presents and esswntials?.... I'm guessing not from your comment about lip fillers though...

It’s sucks doesn’t it. I have a very similar relationship with my grandsons mother. I spent a lot of money on him at Christmas and because I was working I dropping them off and opened them with him the day before.

she wrapped them back up and put pictures up of “santas” been all over social media, my present a very clearly there.

my grandson still got the presents I suppose!

That's* *£250 for a party for a 3 year-old?

She's an idiot. She had an exMIL prepared to pay towards this Birthday and probably many future events. She''s blown that. Now if you're smart you'll still cebrate on your DS's time but DGD will know who is treating her.
Don't ley it stop you from wanting to create lovely times together. You sound great.

I'd still ask for it back.

You won't get it, but thats not the point. THe point is she knows YOU know she's taken the piss and you'll not be handing her cash again. She's killed the golden goose there!

You’re slagging off her appearance but it was your son who got her pregnant ? I should hope he pays more than childcare ! Perhaps her dad can organise her 4th birthday party ?

I see no slagging off by Op. Merely observing clearly that her GD's Mum regularly has money to spend on treats for herself while crying poor when planning her child's birthday.

Good on you,Op, for keeping the peace and having a decent relationship with your GD and her mother.
You are very generous.
Learn from the experience.

I agree with the above, op, because you did specify it was to go towards a party. However wait a bit longer because she may still book a party,

I wouldn’t just write off the money, I’d text her that you gave her money for a birthday party with GD’s nursery friends and as that’s not happening, you need the money back and that you can’t just afford to give money away for no reason.

You seem so nice OP. I think it's kind of you not to try to get the money back from GD's mum. She has fucked up but she's young, maybe she regrets it, maybe not. Maybe she'll grow up a bit in years to come and stuff like this will happen less. You sound like a lovely grandmother and a kind person and I don't think you'll ever really regret that even if it hurts sometimes when people aren't kind back.

Let it go. You know now for the future. Given she's raising your GD, it's probably going for the many costs children incur. Bit cheeky, but not worth creating an arguement

I would say that 250 can go like water these days on children. Sealife is not cheap either.
You should open a little child ISA for your granddaughter and put money in for birthdays and xmas each year and then get a small thing to open. The stuff they get at this age all ends up landfill and charity shops in a few years anyway and if mum is not good with money then it will be a little nest egg for her for the future.

I suspect your GD will have a truly lovely day, much much nicer than a hectic mad party

That sucks. I did laugh at your "I hope some of that 250 went on GD"! At least it gets your point across that she took money on false pretences.

Perhaps the mother has arranged one of the special “experiences” like “feed the xyz”

they are very pricey.

but even if she hasn’t… what a lovely (and expensive!) day this will be for your GD

see the bigger picture op. Although, if you’re on mumsnet saying that this is something you could cry about and that you’re a “muggins” then I reckon… you won’t

It’s shit that she took the money and the majority will go on her and not her daughter. However, 23 isn’t a young mum. She sounds selfish and fake, but that’s nothing to do with age.

@Pickedupsomethingsuss that’s pretty rude and ageist. OP has every right to be upset .

Her granddaughter is going out for a wonderful birthday celebration courtesy of granny.

sea life is expensive and may well involve one of the “feeding experiences” , which are extortionate, then lunch out and treats and a gift from the gift shop no doubt.

I can’t fathom being bitter and cross about this.

The same ds who asked you for money to buy you something for Mother’s Day despite being an adult?

the same DS on universal credit?

So he didn’t step in to contribute towards a party?

He pays towards childcare?

he’s on UC according to your other thread you started, so she’ll be getting pennies at best.

Wow.

You have NO idea what that "Mum" is spending that money on. You might like to pontificate how it is being spent, but it's just as likely that the Mum got her nails and hair done and will get her DD a piece of 5pound junk as her "gift".
It might end up not that "wonderful" at all. Add to that, since "granny" was paying, she should have been invited along. That's just how classy people operate, which sounds like it doesn't describe the ex-GF of her son.

Sounds cheeky that she implied she wanted money for a party by sending you the links. Did she directly ask you to pay? What was her own families contribution?
I think you should have asked more questions, especially as you state We have seperate relationships. They aren't together. He pays towards childcare.
Why was she asking you anyway and not your son? It all sounds messy. Who was invited to the party? The GD is turning 3, but you mention mum saying about falling out with people. So again was this not a child's party with little friends from nursery?

You are either incredibly rude or the "Mum" of OP's DGD. Though I guess you could also just be another entitled, rude person who thinks everyone should give, give, give to her, or a bitter person who had a child with the wrong person....I guess there are several choices. Just none of them good.