Gave Granddaughter's Mum £250 towards her 3rd birthday party

[TheBuffetInspector]

She couldn't decide which nursery friends to invite. Whether it would be 360 or local Wacky.

I gave her £250 towards either.

She's going to Sea-Life Centre with her Mum.

So, not only no party. No invite either.

I'm a bit pissed off to be honest.

op has suddenly decided to claim the dil doesn't work, her answers about this are vague and angry . She was happy enough when everyone was putting down the dil but now the spotlights on her son she's not best pleased.

Well, that’s not true is it? OP has described the mum as a ‘wonderful mum’ who loves her dd.

And when people insulted the mum for not working, OP explained that her DGD’s mum is a ‘bloody hard worker’ but that she’s not working right now due to being given a house elsewhere.

Let it go for the sake of your relationship with your GD

I would ask her for the money back! It was for a party and there is no party.

Thats absolutely ok, its ok to cry!
We have tears to wash some of the pain away.
Its awful what that woman did. I would be shocked too.
Sendig hugs.

They should have invited you seeing as your money paid for it.

I'm sorry this has happened to you 🌻

This. You missed some posts.

I don't understand why both parents apparently stop working each time they move house, but it's irrelevant to the Sea Life trip, we don't actually need every detail of the family's life to respond about birthday money.

How on earth would a 3 year olds birthday party cost £250? That's extortion. I would just hope she had a good time & leave it like that.

What attracted him to her in the first place. She's 23 and is already injecting herself for the fish pout look. Frankenstein at 23 I'm not surprised they finished she sounds like a very insecure young woman.

Coming from the person commenting on the choices made by a 23 year old on whether they want to use fillers or not. You’ve body shamed her and you haven’t even seen a picture of her…

your personality is more toxic that the fillers being used by this lady.

Ask for the money back and never give her any money again.

I didn't mean to offend you if you're into that? I believe in natural beauty in all forms whether toxic or not. I have brought up my 3 lovely daughter's to love themselves inside and out. They eat well, go gym and study. My oldest is independent and lives with her boyfriend she works in medicine. I do have my views and I don't think it's necessary for a 23 year old to be injecting her lips who knows what damage she could cause herself.

She may have spent the money to get more work done to herself. It's so sad.

I'm not at all into botox and lip fillers, in fact i only wear make up about once a year! But I find judgement on what other women are doing with their bodies (and lives) completely unnecessary and doesn't reflect well on people judging others.

Great you've taught your daughters all that, but its also important to teach them to respect other people and what they choose for their bodies

Wow omg

This reminds me how recently my mom’s friend, a pensioner, surprised her grandsons mom, gave her money in an envelope, so they can travel abroad for Christmas and see her family.

it was enough for a nice hotel too. It was supposed to be a Christmas gift

the girl then told her she “accidentally”?? ordered the wrong ticket/wrong dates? and she lost the money so can she get the money again so she could order a new one!

Maybe this is just me, and the way I was raised, but my mom was just like this girl, same situation, and 250 party at 3 years old would be insane to her. Let alone spending money on lip fillers, brows, lashes, nails, beauty treatments

it was always cake and tea with friends at park or my house with games and movies. Or sleepover, or a day at the zoo or Pizza Hut with just my parents all my life.

if I ask her now, she’d say that person is not struggling at all and has money. And is wasting money

but again, this was just my life and experience

It’s hard because there are two totally separate issues

1. She took the money under false pretences and didn’t use it in the spirit it was given.
2. Your DS should be contributing more to his child and is being neglectful in not doing so.

I know the issue is with your DS and not you. He’s the dad, it’s his responsibility. But if I was the ex DIL I would struggle with you swooping in with a grand gesture on this one off occasion and prefer that you put your efforts into encouraging your DS to be a better, consistent parent. My DC’s dad paid a pittance, and I could never understand how his parents were so untroubled by this. If my DS was only contributing a portion of benefits towards his own child’s basic needs I would feel deeply ashamed of him and wonder where I had gone wrong.

However, it doesn’t change the fact that she’s basically stolen £250.

I’m not into it, but that’s irrelevant. You determined that she was insecure because she had fillers, and likened her to Frankenstein…you see the issue here right?

I guess I'm toxic

Oh bollocks. The OP didn’t “gift” her DIL £250 and say “here you go, spend it on whatever you like” she gave it to her to pay for what the DIL made out was a planned party.

Te OP’s money then paid for a day out for the DIL and her mother, to which the OP wasn’t even invited in spite of PAYING FOR IT.

@TheBuffetInspector I can only assume you’ve failed to get your grandchild’s mother hooked on the @jdkirk books which would have ensured she had no time for profligate spending of the funds you provided for a birthday party?! I think you’ve had a really rough time on this thread, mainly for things totally beyond your control re the dynamic with your son / his ex partner.

I’m glad you’ve been able to sort out the issue and can have an amazing day celebrating your grandchild’s birthday regardless! I’ll never be lucky enough to be a grandparent (to anything without fur at least!) but as a dedicated Auntie to 3 nephews and niece, those broader family connections / relationships really cannot be underestimated. x

Why are you pissed off you gave the little girl the money for her birthday party and she didn't have one what did you expect the child to give you the money back or an invite to go with her and her mum ?

People spend £250 on a 3rd birthday party?? WTF?

There is a trend round my way for young women to use lip fillers. IMO it does always look unnatural and it's sad that they feel the need to do it.

I wouldn’t blame the OP for not returning to this post. Some of the comments have been vile and judgmental 🙄

Message her asking her to return the money so you can buy a gift & have a little party with your GD, your Son & other family members. If she says she doesn't have it ask her how if it wasn't spent on a party it shouldn't have been spent at all. Don't let her get away with it. It was intended for your GD make sure you get it back so she can benefit from it not her Mum.