Gave Granddaughter's Mum £250 towards her 3rd birthday party

[TheBuffetInspector]

She couldn't decide which nursery friends to invite. Whether it would be 360 or local Wacky.

I gave her £250 towards either.

She's going to Sea-Life Centre with her Mum.

So, not only no party. No invite either.

I'm a bit pissed off to be honest.

So this woman gets £84 a MONTH from the father of her child

disgraceful

And that £84 a month he pays from his UC is actually from us the tax payer!

Sounds like she's young, immature and not responsible with money, OP.

Frustrating, but please keep being a stable presence in their lives. They do need you.

Don't give cash in future. Ask what she needs and buy/ book it for her directly.

She obviously needs some help with money management and can't handle being given a sum of money. Not that uncommon for a young person in her situation but you will be more aware of it in future.

Oh yeah, 23 is positively ancient 🤯

She is a single mother
her ex on universal credit and pays her £84 from his benefits
meanwhile she is working and in fact working MORE than her free childcare covers

That’s barely a week’s food shop! Poor woman, how can anyone think £84 a month is an appropriate contribution from a father?

It was pretty rude to take money specifically for a party (if that is actually what was said!) and then spend it another way (although given she gets fuck all from your son and isn’t working herself, she’s probably pretty skint!) but my god I’m not surprised she didn’t invite you along for their birthday day out, your contempt for her drips from every post and you’re just not coming across as very pleasant at all. I guess moving forward it would make sense not to offer money again if it’s going to cause you such upset.

🤣 That did make me chuckle. She is young bless her. I'm old. It's all relative.

I think I would cry too if my adult son was on universal credit and paying a poxy £84 from his benefits towards raising his child

Sorry, not getting your point. How is that related to what I said?

And the icing on the cake

it’s from his benefits. So really we the tax payer are paying that £84, not even him

She is not immature
she is working hard (well more hours than free childcare covers)
with a poxy £84 a month from her ex
and raising a child

I actually spoke to her last night. Or should I say early hours.

I'd sent a long message meant for my 71 year old Mum after our horrific day then had to delete it. I explained why anyway.

We're all good. I'm not going to furnish you with the details as it's quite a complex relationship. Keep trying though.

I can now see why she wanted the money. Clearly your DS is not contributing enough. Why doesn't he work?
I don't understand why so many people blame the mum when it takes two to make a child. Your son needs to get a job and help support the child he made.

So no answer as to why your DS is on UC?

no answer to how far you think £84 a month (from his benefits) goes towards raising a child?

I think this woman sounds very smart. She’s working hard, raising a child with an unemployed ex contributing a pathetic amount from his benefits (so we’re paying, not him)

This with bells on

Book things for her, then you know where money goes.
Be empathetic. 23 is young and things are expensive right now.

I’d wait until you see her face to face and say something then. Ask what the money went towards? You don’t want her getting arsey and withholding your GD from seeing you. She sounds like she has poor morals. People are shocking. I wouldn’t take a penny off anyone.

The devil is in the detail

and this woman, who is working and raising a child with an unemployed pathetically contributing ex (the OP’s DS) - is treating her toddler to a day out and no doubt need the rest of the money to pay bills

£84 a month? That'll go far won't it?

He needs to step the fuck up. And you need to back off.

Keep trying? To do what exactly? Give a view on a situation you asked for opinions on?
No idea how this post is even relevant to mine, other than to reinforce the view that you’re a prickly character. You can speak with someone as often as you like and still hold them in contempt, as I am sure you’re well aware.

Did all the puppets get up together this morning? How about you Iggle? You too Makka? And you Upsy. Silly sausages.

i think the op is prickly because now we know her son is unemployed and contributes a meagre £84 (from his benefits do not really from him I’d argue) month towards raising his child (meanwhile the mum is in employment) which puts a somewhat different stance on the fact this mum decided to go for a cheaper day and probably use the extra to pay rent! .

You said he was 28 in a previous thread. Why isn’t he working full time? I don’t think you can complain about the £250 if your son isn’t properly providing for his child.

I doubt he’s even working at all if he’s on universal credit and paying £84 “from his benefits”