Who is unreasonable re fuel?

[Washinginthesun]

Genuinely not sure.
I drive to uni every day. My friend usually lives on campus but is at home this week.
She’s asked me for a lift. She lives on the next street.
Obviously I said yes but asked if she’d split fuel costs for the journeys. She says I’m being unreasonable as I’d be going anyway. I’ve always contributed fuel money if someone gives me a lift somewhere.
We’re at a bit of a stalemate.

No money - no lift.

Well she can make her own way then can’t she . Say to her , well il see you there and don’t give it anymore thought .

I think YABU. She's not asking to make this a regular occurrence and she's correct that you would be going anyway. I'm all for not letting people take advantage but a couple days of a car-share when you're literally going anyway is not a big deal and I wouldn't have asked for her to contribute.

Edit to add: unless this is a 60-90 min each way journey, in which case you might have a point. But that'd be a bit of a drip feed.

If it’s only for the week or two I wouldn’t have asked for a contribution as I would be going anyway. If it’s a longer term request then YANBU.

I wouldn’t ask a friend for fuel money just for a few days where I was literally doing the journey anyway so no real inconvenience or extra cost to me, but conversely if a friend asked for a contribution I would make one.

No it’s 45 mins each way

As she is so close and I’m going anyway no I would not ask for fuel money. It’s just a week.

I wouldn’t ask. Bit stingy, I think.

I would expect them to offer

I would honestly never occur to me to ask for fuel money for a journey I was doing anyway. YABU.

If it was a long term arrangement I would absolutely split fuel costs, but wouldn’t expect it for a short term arrangement when you are literally going anyway. She’s right in saying you would be paying anyway. For that sort of favour I’d probably just expect a box of chocolates or for them to buy me a drink or something as a way of thank you.

YANBU. Yes you're going anyway, but... She'd have to pay if she got any other means of transport to the uni.

Just say if she doesn’t want to share fuel money then to make her own way, because you will have the inconvenience of waiting/picking her up for each journey and added cost of her weight in the car and lose your peaceful 45 mins alone in the car so there would be no gain for you but huge gain for her.

But you’d have to do it anyway. What exactly is it costing you to have her in the car?

Someone asked me how far it was, that was my reply

Time waiting for her to show up. Stress of having an extra person instead of quiet time. Less space for OP's stuff in the car if she's driving back with belongings (we don't know if this is the case but it could be).

The distance doesn't make any difference. The principle is the same, irrespective.

YABU - it’s a short term thing. At the most you could ask for her to walk and meet you at yours then it has literally no impact on you at all.

You don't sound like a friend. It won't cost you extra

I'm actually embarrassed for the amount of people on this thread who think the world owes them free lifts just because someone happens to be going in that direction.

She doesn't sound like a friend. She wants to save herself a lot of money but won't share that saving by helping to cover the fuel.

How would she travel if you didn't give her a lift?
How much would you be saving her?

I know you are already paying for your fuel but I think she should contribute if you are saving her money.
Had she just assumed she could travel with you for free when making her plans to be home gor the week

I’ve never charged for fuel. I’m going that way anyway. I drive electric now and I get that free so I definitely wouldn’t charge

Does she use the same argument with bus drivers when they ask her to pay the fare?

YANBU.

You are both being unreasonable.

You are being unreasonable charging a friend for something you would be doing anyway, and she is being unreasonable not to offer something , but I'd have said no don't be daft I'm going anyway. It's only a few days it's not like it's an ongoing commitment that might become inconvenient.

A box of chocolates or flowers or something at the end of the week might be nice, but I wouldn't have been expecting it.

I think for a week you didn’t have to ask her for money however her reaction would also put me off giving her a lift if that makes sense