Who is unreasonable re fuel?

[Washinginthesun]

Genuinely not sure.
I drive to uni every day. My friend usually lives on campus but is at home this week.
She’s asked me for a lift. She lives on the next street.
Obviously I said yes but asked if she’d split fuel costs for the journeys. She says I’m being unreasonable as I’d be going anyway. I’ve always contributed fuel money if someone gives me a lift somewhere.
We’re at a bit of a stalemate.

Yet I feel rather sad that anyone would consider trying to charge a friend for a lift for a journey they would be doing anyway. Even sadder that 2 posters agree with you.

Have you not understood that this is a temporary thing for a week ? Have you not grasped that this isn't a random stranger, but a friend ??

I suspect there will be quite a cross over between people who think that is acceptable, and the people on all the "I have no friends" threads you get on MN.

WTF would this "friend" have done if the OP wasnt going?

Thats right - she would have to fucking PAY to get there.

So she can PAY the OP too.

JFC.

How do you get your electric free? Do you charge at work or something?

If my friend asked me for a lift to a place that I was going anyway and I’m not really having to go out of my way to get her then no I wouldn’t expect payment. She’s a friend and she’s asked for a favour for a week. If this was a long term plan then yes I’d expect to share fuel costs but as it’s one week I’d just take her.
If I was the friend though I would offer fuel money to show I appreciate the favour.

A lot has changed socially, culturally, economically and technologically since then, even if you choose to hold the view that it's the same.

Either or. It does seem a bit much to ask for money for just a week when you're driving anyway but I can appreciate it adds up if you're giving rides to people a lot.

It does make me think of a friend years ago (who I only got a handful of rides from ever) and I still remember everyone in the friend circle knew she insisted on petrol money and it seemed a bit greedy and ungenerous when others would give rides without a thought. It was sort of her wider personality (nice enough but out for herself and always trying to get ahead). Not saying you're like that, OP, but something to be aware of.

I didn't say nothing had changed socially, culturally, economically and technologically.🙄 That doesn't mean that students were all well off in the 80s and 90s and that they didn't split the bills for food and drink.

Interestingly I think the opposite, I’m embarrassed by the number of people who think you should charge a friend for something that is costing you nothing.

How entitled is she?!Fuel is just 1 part of the cost of running a car.

How much is getting a lift saving her? Ask for that amount of money. CF.

How do you make that out? Of course it is costing OP.

No it is isn't

I remember back early 90's 3 people had a lift to work with a lady and she took £10 a week.petrol money from us all . So in those days we were practically keeping her car on the road.

Totally agree with you. Does make you wonder if these people have any genuine friendships.

I wouldn’t have asked for fuel if it’s a short period and I was going anyway. But her response is cheeky.

As a few day in isolation I wouldn’t take money.

Completely different scenario if this was a regular thing

Also one day I could be in need of something small that overall wouldn’t cost her anything but would be a huge help to me and would hope she would treat me as I had treated her

It’s about banking little bits of help for the future because no one knows what circumstances we could find ourselves in

I wouldn’t ask for fuel if I was going anyway and the time/date was on my terms to suit me, absolutely not, it’s a nice thing to do.

if she started dictating what day it needed to be and when she needed to be back for, I would weigh up whether it was worth me taking her and consider a contribution.

it sounds like she’s happy to tag along, so no, I wouldn’t ask.

It’s for a week. You are going anyway. It’s not out of your way to pick her up

shocked you asked for fuel costs to be honest

diff if was going to be ongoing

Yeh, the fuel for the car is free, isnt it?

And the wear-n-tear of the car?

🤦‍♂️🙄

She is paying for fuel anyway. Helping the friend won't cost any extra money.

As I said upthread:

WTF would this "friend" have done if the OP wasnt going?

Thats right - she would have to fucking PAY to get there.

So she can PAY the OP too.

Nothing in this world is free. OPs friend should pay or fuck off/make her own travel arrangements.

I used to give a friend a lift to and from work the 3 days I worked. Work started at 6am. The other days she walked and generally someone else gave her a lift part of the way home. I never thought to ask for any money, she lived in my road and she never offered. It was a real pain though as she was always late and sometimes she'd get a lift homr from someone else and not tell me and I'd be waiting for her. I am relieved she has moved jobs and house.
I think your friend should have offered something but for just a week I wouldn't have insisted. A regular thing, for such a long journey I would request splitting the fuel costs.

Equally, what would op have done if not giving the friend a lift? Answer is nothing different as she is going anyway. The friend is stingy to not offer but asking for money in this circumstance is just as bad.

Christ, I’m glad I don’t know anyone who behaves like this in real life.

I would always offer a lift to someone going the same way as me - and my friends would do the same in return. There is no way in the is planet any of us would demand payment for it either.

If it was going to a permanent arrangement lasting weeks or months, then yes, maybe payment alike be sorted, but for a few days as a one off? Absolutely not.

Nothing "equally" about it.

If the OP travelled alone, thats a cost the OP absorbs.

OPs friend however, gets a free ride for no cost. Is that equal?

Would you expect to travel free on a flight just because someone else paid £10k or more for a first class seat/ergo subsidise you?

No, you pay for your own seat - despite the fact the plane is going to the same place.

🙄

You’re going there anyway and she’s only asked for a lift for a few days, so yes, asking for fuel money is Scrooge levels of miserliness. The replies egging you on are insane and I doubt most of them would actually expect such a payment if it was them.