Page 2 | Who is unreasonable re fuel?

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 12:09

FourEyesGood · 08/04/2025 12:08

Does she use the same argument with bus drivers when they ask her to pay the fare?

YANBU.

Yes, because that's exactly the same thing🙄🙄🙄

bigboykitty · 08/04/2025 12:10

And she would have travel costs if she took public transport. Your friend is a cheeky fucker

FOJN · 08/04/2025 12:10

You're not at a stalemate, you've asked her for a contribution to fuel and the said no so you're not taking her.

You'll be no worse of but she will need to pay for public transport and the inconvenience of using it vs getting picked up.

I wouldn't discuss it further, she's made her decision. Whether other people would ask for a contribution to fuel is irrelevant.

Bluecheesebonkers · 08/04/2025 12:11

I wouldn’t but I’m not living on the breadline. Do you need the money?

SunsetCocktails · 08/04/2025 12:13

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 12:08

You are both being unreasonable.

You are being unreasonable charging a friend for something you would be doing anyway, and she is being unreasonable not to offer something , but I'd have said no don't be daft I'm going anyway. It's only a few days it's not like it's an ongoing commitment that might become inconvenient.

A box of chocolates or flowers or something at the end of the week might be nice, but I wouldn't have been expecting it.

I totally agree with this. OP isn’t going out of her way so it’s not costing her any more. However, if I was the friend I would definitely buy a box of chocolates or bottle of wine or something just to show my appreciation for the lifts.

TappyGilmore · 08/04/2025 12:13

It’s polite to offer you some money, even if you are going anyway. And especially if it’s more than one day, which I assume it is since you say that she’s home for the week.

I wouldn’t expect anyone to be working out exact mileage costs and her paying exactly half, but she should make some kind of contribution.

PeonyBlushSuede · 08/04/2025 12:14

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 08/04/2025 12:08

I think for a week you didn’t have to ask her for money however her reaction would also put me off giving her a lift if that makes sense

Same here

For one week it maybe wouldn’t bother me but if became a regular thing would definately want petrol money. Just because you are already going that way doesn’t mean you should give free lifts on the regular

Cherry8809 · 08/04/2025 12:15

doodleschnoodle · 08/04/2025 11:59

I wouldn’t ask a friend for fuel money just for a few days where I was literally doing the journey anyway so no real inconvenience or extra cost to me, but conversely if a friend asked for a contribution I would make one.

This.

Thefunnel · 08/04/2025 12:15

Not for a short term thing. And I wouldn't risk a friendship over it.

GasPanic · 08/04/2025 12:15

If she contributes you both win.

If she doesn't you lose slightly (extra petrol, hassle of waiting around for her, loss of space/peace etc). She loses more, because comparitively the public transport will be more expensive and take more of her time.

Anyone who is not greedy would be happy to offer up some cash so you can both save money to ensure both parties win. IMO anyway.

Eenameenadeeka · 08/04/2025 12:15

I wouldn't ask for such a short term arrangement when you are going anyway, but she was rude to refuse I think.

TappyGilmore · 08/04/2025 12:16

TBH if I asked for a ride and my friend asked for a contribution to fuel costs, I’d feel bad that I hadn’t thought to offer before she had a chance to ask. And I would of course pay.

Ineffable23 · 08/04/2025 12:16

I think you're both being unreasonable tbh. It's a few days and you're going anyway, so unless you're really hard up I think it's a bit off to ask for petrol money. But once you'd asked it's rude to say no.

Megifer · 08/04/2025 12:17

I wouldn't ask a friend to contribute to fuel if I was going to the same place tbh.

PizzaPowder · 08/04/2025 12:17

Short term i wouldn't have asked but the other way round i'd have offered.

SoScarletItWas · 08/04/2025 12:19

If it really is only for the week I’d do it. As long as our timetables aligned and I wasn’t having to go in hours early or wait once my lectures were over. If I was friend, I’d give you a bottle of wine as thanks.

If it turns into a long term thing then yes I’d ask for contribution to fuel.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 08/04/2025 12:21

Ineffable23 · 08/04/2025 12:16

I think you're both being unreasonable tbh. It's a few days and you're going anyway, so unless you're really hard up I think it's a bit off to ask for petrol money. But once you'd asked it's rude to say no.

I agree with this. I would personally have offered a contribution when I asked you but the notion of splitting it 50/50 is giving me flash backs to people at uni who were always looking to make a few quid off their mates, its not a fantastic trait.

RedHelenB · 08/04/2025 12:21

You're not acting as a friend really, as there is no extra cost or time involved in this favour.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 08/04/2025 12:22

I wouldn't have asked in your situation. Not for a one-off/short term arrangement.

Fair enough to ask for a contribution if it's a regular thing.

Either way, having been asked, she should pay her share or make her own way instead.

Gundogday · 08/04/2025 12:22

A one off or once in a blue moon, no charge. Regular commitment - definitely she should contribute.

A weeks journey for 45 minutes driving is quite alot, so maybe £10-20 .

Shes arguing that you’re going that way, but you could counter that by saying if you weren’t driving, she’d have to pay (and the journey would take longer).

The fact that you gave a stalemate over this makes me think it’s not worth the hassle.

TurnThatLightOn · 08/04/2025 12:22

It's a friend, not an acquaintance and it's only for a week. No I wouldn't ask for money. I guess most of my friends would buy chocs or wine at the end of the week but I wouldn't be bothered if they didn't.

Watermill · 08/04/2025 12:23

Is this a long standing friend? Or just someone you met at uni? Are you bothered about keeping the friendship?

45 minutes each way is quite a bit, and we don’t know how stretched you are financially.

TheJollyMoose · 08/04/2025 12:24

I think you’re being a bit of a dick, tbh. You’re going that way anyway, she’s a friend and it’s temporary.

Why would you cause an argument over this unless you don’t actually see her as a friend?

Sure it’s nice to offer fuel money, but you’re just being tight here.

itbemay1 · 08/04/2025 12:25

WingBingo · 08/04/2025 12:00

I wouldn’t ask. Bit stingy, I think.

I would expect them to offer

Same! You’re going same way anyway.

100percenthagitude · 08/04/2025 12:25

Washinginthesun · 08/04/2025 11:54

Genuinely not sure.
I drive to uni every day. My friend usually lives on campus but is at home this week.
She’s asked me for a lift. She lives on the next street.
Obviously I said yes but asked if she’d split fuel costs for the journeys. She says I’m being unreasonable as I’d be going anyway. I’ve always contributed fuel money if someone gives me a lift somewhere.
We’re at a bit of a stalemate.

Neither of you are wrong. Neither of you are right, either.

I think you jumped in too fast, asking for a contribution, straight away. And she reacted too fast with the response.

How strong is the friendship? Do you ever stay with her on nights out? Does she do you favours?

Personally I'd have left it at "no worries, you can pick the coffee and snacks up, en route!"