Who is unreasonable re fuel?

[Washinginthesun]

Genuinely not sure.
I drive to uni every day. My friend usually lives on campus but is at home this week.
She’s asked me for a lift. She lives on the next street.
Obviously I said yes but asked if she’d split fuel costs for the journeys. She says I’m being unreasonable as I’d be going anyway. I’ve always contributed fuel money if someone gives me a lift somewhere.
We’re at a bit of a stalemate.

I'm guessing from the OP that it's just the one week? I wouldn't ask in that case. Honestly I wouldn't ask even if it was a longer arrangement as you're friends and she's a street away. Seems a little petty to me since it's not adding any cost to you. Are you always so transactional with your friends?

I think if you want a "favour" of a lift you offer something in recompense - as a student fuel is good even if its a fiver for the week it makes a huge difference. Expecting a free ride as you go anyway is freeloading at its worst

I wouldn’t charge a friend fuel money to get in my car for a week for a journey I was already doing.

Pretty much this 👆

I wouldn’t expect a friend to pay for a short term, cost free favour. If I was the friend needing a lift I’d offer money and buy wine/chocolate to say thank you, but it would feel a bit weird if someone was trying to profit out of my need for a favour.

Given OP is a student I am guessing money is tight. Her friend would need to pay for public transport if she didn't get a lift so it seems fair she should pay something towards getting a lift.

Thanks all. Yes it’s just for the week.
Interesting to see the split in opinions. Will bear the comments in mind.

I'd tell her to come to my house and the time I was leaving. If she arrived on time I'd give her the lift but if she's late I'm not waiting around for her. Same on return, I'd tell her what time I'm leaving and she arrives on time or I'd go without her. I think she's rude to ask for a lift but not to offer any contribution towards cost because it would cost her if she had to get a bus.

Giving someone a regular lift can be a hassle - having to stick to a set time, feeling guilty/obligated if you decide not to go one day, having to make conversation when you'd rather be alone etc. So for a regular commitment, I'd probably expect a contribution to petrol costs, mainly to compensate for the inconvenience as mentioned.

But for a couple of weeks I definitely wouldn't charge a friend. OP why do you want money? It sounds like you're just trying to make a fast buck!

You are going there anyway. Don’t be mean.

From her point of view- if a friend was good enough to give me a lift every day for a week, even if she was going anyway, I'd always offer something for petrol and if she didn't want it, I'd buy her something to say thank you.

I wouldn’t expect or ask for anything on a journey I was already doing where I wasn’t going out of my way to collect the person from somewhere. If they offered something as gesture or gave me a bottle of wine that would be a nice gesture. Otherwise I am asking a friend to save me money I was already spending which is weird

Going anyway, I'd not expect a contribution.

Going out of your way, I would.

Would you say the same to a bus driver? "You're driving the route anyway so I don't see why I should pay?"

The friend should not expect to commute for free imo and should definitely offer recompense to the driver. It is at that point the driver could quite reasonably turn down the petrol money because they are going anyway, or accept and agree however nominal amount.

How do you get free electric?
I'd love to know as my car costs £20 per charge

Long term yes, one off then no.
If I was her I would turn up with a coffee or doughnut to show appreciation.

The bus driver is doing a paid job to provide a service for paying customers.

It's hardly comparable to giving a friend a lift when you're already making the same journey anyway.

I think the OP's "friend" should cough up now that the OP has asked her to, but I still think it was unreasonable to ask for a contribution when it's such a short term arrangement.

I am often amazed at how people treat their "friends" on MN. Am I unusual in actually liking my friends and being pleased if I can help them out?

For me it would depend on how much I liked her and whether I thought she was just using me for a lift. She's only at home for a few days so that on its own wouldn't mean I'd charge her - if I liked her. If I didn't like her I'd rather spend the time on my own.

Not the world. Not owes. Lots of people are saying they wouldn’t charge a friend for a short term lift on a journey they would be doing anyway. You are characterising it all wrong.

Just the same as you going anyway.

She needs to pay for transport “anyway”

It would be a nice gesture for her to contribute

if her hours of arrival and departure different from yours - then defo you are inconvenienced …..

Even if she bought a coffee daily …. But zero recognition is rude

A heavier car costs more in fuel. It's good manners to offer something.

Precisely, the bus driver is being paid.

Why should the OP not be?

I think it was slightly unreasonable to ask, and totally unreasonable for her to say no! I know times are tight but it's not that much money! Not worth falling out over.

I wouldn't ask for fuel money, it wouldn't occur to me if it was for a good friend, especially if living on the next street and just for one week.
If it were a permanrnt arrangement then yes work out a money split for but a few days to help a friend out and you are literally going the same way, then why would you be so petty?

I wouldn't dream of asking someone for money for petrol for a journey I was making anyway.