My husband says I can't have a pottery wheel even though my neighbour has offered to let me keep it in her studio

[Observermum1]

I don't ask for much but really fancy a second hand pottery wheel. My husband says it's a waste of money and that I won't use it much. I feel really sad as I have fancied one for years. My neighbour has even offered to put it in her shed/studio as we don't have room for it. AIBU?

I believe they charge £50 per load. Quite a big kiln too.

yanbu, who made him the boss of you!

Your money, your time, your hobby. Tell him (politely) to stuff it. Please post pictures of your pots here once you've made them!

This reminds me of when DP said i couldn't get DC some gerbils.

So I went out and got them that weekend iirc. And a giant fuck off tank to keep them in. Shit loads of gerbily accessories and ordered an actual hay-bale (near enough) to store in 'his' shed for them. And made sure his pillow was used as one of the obstacles when they got their free-roam time ☺️

Get your wheel. Get a local handyman from FB to set it up and make him a clay knob to go on his head.

I interpreted the eye roll as towards the husbands guitar collection rather than your questions.

Ah no worries

and having read your responses I think it sounds pretty reasonable and thought through so you’d be good to say that this is something you’re going to do, and he can’t really refuse.

Oh tell him to go forth and multiply - if you want a pottery wheel you bloody well buy one! Get a man in to lift it into place.

What a dullard he is - has he no creativity at all?! - or kindness? - or decency?

So you've earned your living from art, still sell your art. And he's still come at this like you're a silly little woman, wasting money on one minute wonders???

Ffs they are mood hoovers, aren't they> No wonder our vaginas clamp shut.

Buy your wheel. Please!

Your H has lots of guitars, how much did they all cost? Have you spent a similar amount on your hobbies? If not, buy the wheel!!

It's not taking up space in your house so he can't argue for that reason. If you're paying it from your own money, and you're still able to make your contributions to household finances, I really don't see the issue here. Your husband sounds a little controlling.. I know it's easy to say and a lot of people jump to the conclusion easily, but honestly, you should be able to buy what you want with the money you've earned.

And I should add that unless there’s some massive back story here of you wasting money, your H sounds horrible!

He's being unreasonable and controlling. Given that he has an expensive hobby collecting multiple guitars, WTF. I would buy that wheel.

A decent wheel is easy to resell if you ever wanted. And hand throwing is not that hard to learn, especially if you take some lessons with a good teacher.

Thanks. No, I don't ask for much at all and am very low maintenance. I am an artist so that is my main 'thing' but I do sell my paintings and am pretty successful tbh. We aren't skint, though we aren't loaded. Luckily own our home. He doesn't think I should do pottery as well as painting,but painting is my profession, I see pottery as a hobby.

Why are you listening to him? Don't even ask him. I bet you that if he wanted something, he'd just get it. Just get it.

Sounds like you’ve done your research, you’ve wanted one for a couple of years, and it’s affordable. Go for it

Thank you, I am feeling like he is being very controlling with this. I'm gutted tbh.

If it's basically financially doable I think partners should support each other's interests like this. I'm a pottery widow - we even have a kiln. It was a bargain second-hand - but oh - the repairs, fitting special electrical cabling, and the electric bills !! (It's possible to get firing elsewhere though and you save up your pieces for a big load). OTOH, I do have a lot of guitars...

"He doesn't think I should do pottery as well"

I'm afraid all that would do is ensure I made pots for everything.

A pot to store 1 pen in
A pot to put another pot in

Etc. Etc

I haven’t read the whole thread but please op buy the wheel, because making is good and joyful and in the current state of the world we all need more positive things to happen. 🙂

If it is from your money and not leaving the family short then go for it. If you already make money from art then can you present him with a financial case that it will pay for itself? Am assuming in all of this that you are already an experienced thrower. Yes it will be heavy but not as heavy as a kiln will be if you get to that stage😂

I’d buy it and say he can sell a guitar if he is upset about the money. I might sell one for him to be honest.

Definitely get the wheel! But if he’s worried about the cost he can always sell one of his guitars! 😂

he cant stop you can he so just do it-how does he justify all the guitars(my bil is in a band i know how much they can be)

If my partner claimed they wished to purchase a pottery wheel I wouldn't exactly be screaming with enthusiasm. Unless they were a professional potter.
Keeping it on a neighbour's property seems like it could get odd and somewhat awkward as well.

Can you not just go to a place where they have one, and the kilns/ovens etc? That seems more sensible if it really is just a new hobby.

Having said that, If it's your money and you can afford it as a family I can't really see how he can physically stop you. You could just claim the neighbour bought it?! I'm not saying that's a great plan though.

Buy the wheel. Tell him you sold one of his guitars to pay for it just to see his face.