My husband says I can't have a pottery wheel even though my neighbour has offered to let me keep it in her studio

[Observermum1]

I don't ask for much but really fancy a second hand pottery wheel. My husband says it's a waste of money and that I won't use it much. I feel really sad as I have fancied one for years. My neighbour has even offered to put it in her shed/studio as we don't have room for it. AIBU?

who is paying for it?
do you earn your own money?

If you can afford it I don’t see why not? Can you afford it from “your” money?

Why is it his decision? If you can pay for it out of your own money and it wont even be on your property it’s nothing to do with him.

What happens if neighbour changes their mind or moves?

It doesn't sound unreasonable to me. I suppose it depends if it costs £+++ to buy (even second hand) and if the supplies will be pricey but it helps a lot if neighbour will store / give you access. Does he have hobbies or is he a 'sitting on front of the TV' type?

clay is expensive i believe, is that his issue?

Who made him the boss of you. Can you afford it?

This is the tricky thing about 'hobbies' in relationships. You want to be supportive, but if your partner tends to have a short attention span, you know it will just end up being wasted money.

So I guess those are my questions. Have you tried other things that got used once, or are now in storage? Do you have a habit of 'fads'? How expensive is the wheel, and is money tight?

She could relocate it or sell it.

Could you tell him you want to re-enact the scene from ghost with him

If its in your neighbours studio he doesn't even need to know.

You are being unreasonable as what has your perfectly normal hobby got to do with your husband.

You're allowed to have a hobby. YANBU.

You don’t need his permission.

What is the cost and does he have hobbies?

So what he says goes then?

But she doesn’t have space for it so can’t relocate. And what happens if neighbour changes their mind or moves soon after OP buys it, that’s a lot of money down the drain. I can understand why partner is concerned.

I do earn my own money, not very much but it would be paid for by me. We have a shared bank account too, but I have my own savings that I earn through art.

My dh would perhaps grumble over an unnecessary purchase ( in his eyes).
However he wouldn’t try to stop me because he’s not my boss.

My neighbour has lived in her place since the 1970s. I could always sell it. It's a second hand wheel, up for £350. A bargain really.

If you are paying for it why do you need his permission?

I would possibly need his help to lift it...

Get the pottery wheel and a new husband whilst you’re at it

Has he actually said you can’t have it - or just that he thinks it’s wasteful and you won’t use it? How does he plan to stop you from buying it?

If she buys it second hand it does't need to be a lot of money down the drain if she needs to sell it.