My husband says I can't have a pottery wheel even though my neighbour has offered to let me keep it in her studio

[Observermum1]

I don't ask for much but really fancy a second hand pottery wheel. My husband says it's a waste of money and that I won't use it much. I feel really sad as I have fancied one for years. My neighbour has even offered to put it in her shed/studio as we don't have room for it. AIBU?

Just buy it OP!! My husband is a type to go through hobby phases and I always support him.

Must have missed the amount! If OP is paying then I don’t see the problem.

It doesn't have to cost ££££. Start small...literally...The Small Pottery Wheel

I find this extraordinary. He's spent £6k on guitars, a hobby which adds nothing to your savings. You, on the other hand, sell your art.
You'll have a good teacher's pension and run the business with him.
I do not understand why he imagines he can veto this choice of yours?

Just buy it and put it in your neighbours shed then crack on. Next time he mentions it just point out it’s your money, it’s not taking up his space so really he should have no objection.

If you were the type to do something to once and never again then I’d say he had a point. But that doesn’t sound like the case.

Id mention it again and say “I’ve thought about what you said but I’m still going ahead with the pottery wheel - I’m too excited about it to let it go.”
you don’t need a grown man’s permission. Dh has drawn a line once… I was researching how to keep giraffe. I did understand that to be fair.

It boggles my mind that you should ask how you can spend your own money! I get joint decisions with larger purchases, but, that has to be fully equitable and not a one person decision. I’m glad you made the decision to buy it, I hope it was still available and you love it. I’d also add, it’s up to you how you waste your money and if you decided you don’t like it, or use it much, then it’s fully up to you if you sell it, or use it as a clothes hanger!

Tell him he has a lot guitars and you never complained, so now he can't complain you are getting the wheel. Go ahead and get it.

He shouldn't be dictating you what you can/ can't have tbh.

She’s a grown women ! If she chooses to buy it she ca. buy it . It’s her money !

I’d buy it, I don’t ask my husband about anything I want to buy. I earn my own money and I’ll spend it on what I like.

Life is too short. Get the pottery wheel.

Why is it up to him? Does he “let you” or “not let you” do anything else?

Ask him how many guitars he owns and how many wheels you own. Your allowed your hobbies too.

Your mistake OP was asking his permission; giving him all the power.

Take your power back by being decisive and doing what you want. That is what he does.
Then tell him what you have done, out of politeness only.

Hobbies, especially creative ones can be very good for people. Very therapeutic, and bring you lots of happiness. Alarm bells should ring at someone standing in the way of this. Who is he to tell you what you may and may not have? Is this 1920? Get the wheel and get a divorce while you’re at it.

6 grand on guitars! bloody cheek just buy the wheel

Thank you. Unfortunately the one I had hoped to buy has sold...but I will keep looking for one.

I'll put it in the shed...or sell it if necessary. Unfortunately the one I wanted has sold, the good ones sell really quickly.

Thank you, unfortunately the one I wanted sold already. I will keep looking for one.

I’d say to hell with husband, and go for it!

Balls to being told ‘no’. He doesn’t own you, you are the helmsman of your own life!

How sad for you OP. Your husband should support you not put a downer on everything.

Between DH and I we’ve gone through many a hobby, some more insane than others. As long as it’s not impacting family finances too much (like my horse owning experience) then really there’s no need for him to be so negative.

You’re a grown adult who has their own income. No one can tell you you “can’t” have something because em yes you can! It’s not like you’re having a mid life crisis and blowing joint savings on a flash car or something.

@PinkFrogss what happens? Then OP relocates it to her own damn house where it should have been in the first place, because- shocker- she's a grown up - and can have what she bloody wants ..and her stupid husband has to get over his fucking self...

Ye Gods... 🤦🏼‍♀️