DH buying his ex flowers for Mother’s Day?

[Roosch]

Would you be happy for your DH to buy his ex (mother of DSD) flowers on Mother’s Day?

Just saw that he basically got her the same thing as me. He did not tell me he was going to do this.

For background, DSD is 10, and we have 2 young children together.

I’m not sure how to feel, and just hoping for general advice.

They were for his daughter's mum? Why would you object to that.

Were they from him or ostensibly from his daughter?

Sweet of him.

I would heartily approve (although I hope he didn't get her exactly the same thing- two different bunches of flowers or whatever would be better).

Sounds sensible and fair to be honest. Why shouldn't he treat you both the same when both of you are the mothers of his children? Do you think she somehow deserves less and you deserve more? I genuinely can't understand why anyone would object to what he did.

I’d be disappointed if he didn’t do this. It’s not wives day, and both mothers of his children should be celebrated equally by him, until his children are old enough to do it independently (and 10 isn’t old enough to fund and buy flowers by herself).

I would be okay with this as their child is 10 so realistically they aren't going to be able to purchase the flowers themselves.

If his DSD is 10 she'll need her father to buy her a gift for her mother. Your husband is doing the right thing for his daughter. There's many non resident fathers who don't bother.

It’s fine. I’d take the piss out of him for buying exact replicas though.

I hugely dislike my ex but he did give our son money to buy me quite a decent Mother’s Day present.

I think it’s a credit to him that he did it - he’s modelling a positive co-parenting relationship to all his children.

Yeah I’d be happy with that, he’s a good man

Has he always bought flowers for her? Is their relationship generally good?
My ex did for me, until the dcs reached their late teens. We got on well, i had primary care of the dcs and it was his way to thank me for that (and their very existence 😂).
I think it's good for DSD to see her Dad still respects her Mum.

I think it’s sadder when a man doesn’t buy anything for the mother of his children. Assume she’s the resident parent? How nice that he appreciates how she co parents their daughter. My friend is a single mum and her ex doesn’t get her anything from the son. Isn’t that worse?

I’m not sure it matters tbh. They probably were from his dd but I think it’s a nice gesture even if they were from him to his child’s mother. It’s for Mother’s Day not a romantic gesture.

My ex DH buys me flowers for Mother's Day from our children. Its a nice thing to do. I buy him something for Father's Day too.

Absolutely fine. He didn't buy them from him, his DD has clearly wanted to celebrate Mother's Day for her mum and he has facilitated this.
Sounds like a good man to me.

Why shouldn’t he? Is she not the mother of their child?

Good man. Very thoughtful of him. You should be pleased.

I'm another one that thinks this is a sign of basic decency.

My DH did this when ours were children. It's a sign of a decent parent, why on earth wouldn't you be happy with it?

That's a lovely thing for him to do!

Think you need to do some growing up.

Green flags!
Green flags, everywhere!!
They’re not from him, they’re from DSD. As her dad, it’s his job to facilitate his daughter’s gratitude for her mother whilst she is absent of her own income.
Co-parenting done right.

He didn’t buy flowers for his ex. He bought flowers for his child to give their mum on Mother’s Day. Big difference.

Rather than thinking your DH bought his ex Mother's Day flowers - think of it as buying the mother of his young child Mother's Day flowers.

As the now adult child of divorced parents, I wish they could have been as amicable to accept they shared children who they both wanted to thrive, even once their relationship had ended - and that my now Step Mother would have been able to do the same.