Am I greedy, or was my friend out of order?

[SummaLuvin]

Went out to dinner last night with a group friends (8 of us in total some single some with partners) all lovely, great to have a catch up. One of them, Milly, is a bit difficult at times, but she is part of the group and can be thoughtful and great fun. When it came to ordering puds some of the group got one, some didn’t, DH and I decided to get the sharing plate with 3 mini desserts. For clarity we always split the bill based on what we ordered. When our dessert was put down between DH and me with 2 spoons, Milly (who was sat next to us) said to the waitress “can we have another spoon please”. One for her to also tuck into our dessert. I was a bit shocked as this wasn’t discussed. Then cue Milly, who couldn’t reach the plate saying “oooh banoffee is my favourite dessert, I really love it…” I of course made sure I ate that up so she didn’t get a look in, but let her have some of the strawberry cheesecake which I wasn’t fussed on. I generally see myself as quite laid back but felt this behaviour was pretty outrageous and not on, but given she was so brash about it I wondered if maybe I was uptight and greedy?

Honestly, am struggling to imagine a situation among any of my friendship groups in which (assuming everyone involved knew the cryer wasn’t upset about something serious going on in her life) people wouldn’t say ‘You’re embarrassing yourself now, Una’, hand her a napkin and firmly go on talking about something else to give her a chance to cop on.

Or something like "I forgave my best friend for stealing my man but no way was she getting her mouth near my banoffee'" 🤣

You could argue it demonstrated an ignorance of social norms, which would suggest you don’t try and help yourself to someone’s dessert?

“Banoffee Bitch Bonked My Bloke!”?

DESSERT TRIO TURNED THREESOME

BANOFFEE BONK IN BLOKES’ TOILET

PERT MILLY, 32, POUTS ‘LUSCIOUS HUBBY WAS UP FOR SHARING!’

Rude. Using ignorant to mean rude is informal but perfectly valid, according to the Cambridge dictionary.

Well handled OP.
Milly is a CF and a PITA.
Crying?
Ffs, avoid.
Sit at the opposite end of the table in future from her.

She's a CF.

it's very easy to say after the fact and when it isn't you and your friends, I wonder how many people would genuinely do it in the moment.
None of my friends would behave in a way that meant I needed to say something like you should've said here.

Not just unhygienic it's gross. I'd throw up if I had to eat something with some else's spit on it that wasn't my partners or childs( up to a certain age with child and non snotty).

CF! Everyone knows a sharing plate is for 2 unless otherwise stated.

"oooh xyz, that's my favourite!"

"Funnily enough, mine too! Hence why I ordered it! You should absolutely get one for yourself; it's lovely."

I realise you wouldn't but depending on the day and how desperate I was for xyz, I absolutely might. 😆

Ignorant can also mean rude or disrespectful.

Unaware of social etiquette = ignorant.
Aware of social etiquette but chose to breach it = rude.
People also often use the word ignorant when the appropriate word would be stupid.

It is worth noting that sometimes words which once had a narrow meaning have evolved into additional meanings with the evolution of language. For example, the word "decimate" historically meant to kill one in every ten soldiers as punishment, but now it is used to describe widespread destruction.

No they really can't, otherwise logical/constructive discussions would be next to impossible. You cannot verbally work through anything in a group without some common logical ground rules and definitions. Logical fallacies are basically deliberate violations of these principles used as an attempt to win an argument.

It is normal that the group has discussed and agreed in advance that they are sharing desserts. It is not normal that an individual feels an entitlement to help themselves to someone elses dessert as though they are on a diet and kidding themself they are sticking to it by not ordering a dessert.

BTW, I am ignorant of the acronym CF, what does it mean?

Milly needs a slap...

Why was DH there?

Ignorant the use has varied by region for at least several decades and it’s either rude ignorant or both to dispute it when both are valid.

Asking for a spoon was strange and CF. If neither of you wanted the strawberry cheesecake anyway I wouldn’t be too bothered on this occasion, at least you won’t be shocked if it happens again.

Did you split the bill evenly or did you pay for what you had? Even though you didn’t react to the spoon request you had time to make a point to split the dessert 3 ways if it was the latter.

I never understand these weirdos who eat from other people’s plates! I still feel second hand rage from the post about someone’s friend eating her burger that she couldn’t finish but her DP was going to have it. Who eats their friend’s half eaten food? Gross.

Next time make sure your not sat anywhere near her

She’s rude. I had a couple of women do this to me. (One was my friend and the other was her side kick.) I ordered a small carafe of wine after they said they were not drinking and didn’t want a bottle. I felt like it. So ordered the small carafe as I didn’t like any of the wines by the glass. When the carafe came they helped themselves. I was baffled.

Why are you trolling like this?!

Another person who pretends to be sensitive so their unacceptable behaviour isn't challenged.

Haven’t read any updates beyond page one so I could be against the grain.

me - couldn’t really imagine our friend group in a world measuring out the bill and the degree I was prepared to share with them and only if u initiated. You win some you lose some.

perhaps she’s the cheeky one tonight, if it cost you what - £2 between a couple?

let us know if she habitually takes the piss and orders bottles of wine she doesn’t pay for, but off the op and that alone - tight as fook.