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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband told the bride her dress was beautiful

201 replies

HK55 · 03/04/2025 10:09

My husband told the bride her dress was beautiful, but when i showed him my dress idea, which was very similar, he said he didn't like it. He claims he doesn’t recall her dress being similar. Does it appear he finds the bride attractive not the dress?

OP posts:
YourBestFriend · 03/04/2025 15:45

Divorce that piece of shit right fucking now!

chakrakkhan · 03/04/2025 15:45

Grow up

Moon30 · 03/04/2025 16:01

He was being polite, he's not going to tell her that her dress is ugly

Coconutter24 · 03/04/2025 16:04

What did you say to the bride? Did you not compliment her?

Dweetfidilove · 03/04/2025 16:15

Maybe her dress was beautiful and your 'similar, but different' dress is not as beautiful.
Maybe the dress suits her, but not you and he won't have you looking ridiculous on his wedding day.
Maybe he was just being polite to her, but feels he can be honest with you- again, so you're not looking ridiculous on hos wedding day.

Sminty2 · 03/04/2025 16:15

Sounds as though you have anxiety about yourself or your relationship with him, rather than the dress comment. Everyone says the dress is lovely, even when it's not, it's the polite thing to do.
You need to remember that he is marrying you, he loves you and he wouldn't be marrying you if he didn't love the bones of you.
Bride anxiety is a real thing, weddings are stressful. Try not to worry about every little thought and just concentrate on planning and enjoying your wedding day. It and you, will be beautiful.

WeeOrcadian · 03/04/2025 16:19
  1. You wanted to wear a dress similar to the bride!!??
  2. He said her DRESS was beautiful - not her - and that's EXACTLY what you say to a bride. Have you never attended a wedding before?
  3. Likely a plop - no update from the OP that I can see

Must. Try. Harder.

Waitingfordoggo · 03/04/2025 16:31

Sounds to me like he could have said to the bride ‘You look beautiful’ but didn’t, cause he knew it would upset you, so he went for ‘your dress is beautiful’. If he is anything like a lot of men, he doesn’t actually know or care much about dresses or feel remotely interested in their design.

When we go to weddings, my husband always tells the bride she looks beautiful, because he is a nice person (and is married to someone who can cope with him thinking and saying that another woman is beautiful, especially on her big day).

Sminty2 · 03/04/2025 16:33

WeeOrcadian · 03/04/2025 16:19

  1. You wanted to wear a dress similar to the bride!!??
  2. He said her DRESS was beautiful - not her - and that's EXACTLY what you say to a bride. Have you never attended a wedding before?
  3. Likely a plop - no update from the OP that I can see

Must. Try. Harder.

Sorry, what is a 'plop'? I don't know that term. Thank you.

menopausalfart · 03/04/2025 16:36

If he has skid marks in his drawers as well, run.

Gizmo1983 · 03/04/2025 16:44

My husband would never do Valentine’s Day for me. He had a friend who was a girl who he was very good friends with, she had a boyfriend who lived abroad and he came in one night and said how sorry he felt for her and he should try and contact her bf abroad and see if he wanted him to get something for her. I’m sure u can all imagine my response, I told him if he did I would divorce him on the spot. This was about 20 years ago and I still remind him of it and make him squirm 😂😂😂 we still don’t do Valentine’s Day lol

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 03/04/2025 16:45

Sminty2 · 03/04/2025 16:33

Sorry, what is a 'plop'? I don't know that term. Thank you.

Show quote history

It's when they start a weird thread and never come back to it.

randomchap · 03/04/2025 16:52

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 03/04/2025 16:45

It's when they start a weird thread and never come back to it.

Show quote history

Also known as a shit and run

Wtafdidido · 03/04/2025 16:52

Are you unhinged? Doesn’t sound like you are ready for marriage. He was most likely making polite conversation and trying g to say something nice to the bride on her special day

Butchyrestingface · 03/04/2025 16:52

randomchap · 03/04/2025 16:52

Also known as a shit and run

Show quote history

I thought it was 'fuck and run'?

ALJT · 03/04/2025 16:57

I think at a wedding, that’s the done thing to say. You’d never go up to a bride and say ‘not a fan of the dress choice love, better luck next time’ you’d just say ahh gorgeous dress even if you are lying :) because she has chose it, she likes it and it’s too late for opinions anyway not that they are asked for

Sassybooklover · 03/04/2025 17:01

I've told a groom on his wedding day that he looked dapper. I didn't fancy him, he looked smart and I told him so! Your husband was being polite.

randomchap · 03/04/2025 17:17

Butchyrestingface · 03/04/2025 16:52

I thought it was 'fuck and run'?

Show quote history

Many phrases for the same shite

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 03/04/2025 17:17

Wise up.

Umidontknow · 03/04/2025 17:26

Or he was just being polite and hadn't really clocked what she was wearing (or didnt like it then) and just did the done thing..

thismummyslife · 03/04/2025 17:46

I bet he was just being polite because that’s the type of thing you say at a wedding. I doubt my husband could even describe my dress, it was white and long is probably the extent of it. Don’t take it to heart!

FleaBeeBob · 03/04/2025 18:12

The brides dress could be hideous but would any one really say that, probably not.

TimingOff · 03/04/2025 19:29
  1. Everyone tells the bride they look beautiful. It's what you do. This was a version of that and quite a nice one as it compliments the bride on her taste and is not about her body).
  1. Different people suit different dresses.
Calliopespa · 03/04/2025 21:05

It’s impossible to say from what you have posted op.

If he said it in a relatively perfunctory way to her and then told you he didn’t like that style of dress in a honest way, it’s likely he was just being polite at the wedding, genuinely isn’t do keen on the style and can’t even recall it as he was so disinterested.

If he was falling all over her and said it in a lascivious, flattering way, then seemed totally disinterested when you showed him, or even showed distaste at the thought of you in it, and if he appeared defensive when he said he didn’t remember hers but you reckon he does, he likely thought she looked pretty hot but doesn’t envisage you looking equally hot. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Happy?

Devonsongbird · 05/04/2025 06:52

My husband has told me (very politely and respectfully) that he doesn’t like my outfit one day and a week later, when I wear it again, told me I look beautiful in it….

On a side note-it’s natural for us all to recognise attractiveness in other people.x