To think that parents who don’t control their kids in public deserve public shaming?

[MyEdgyAmberZebra]

If your child is throwing a screaming tantrum in a restaurant, I shouldn’t have to “be understanding” - I should be able to tell you to sort it out.

I agree!

Quite right too! But don’t just post about it on here - get out there and start putting your brilliant idea into practice. Let us know how it goes!

Don't you think that if it was as simple as 'sorting it out' them they would!?

As long as they were trying to manage them and not just ignoring them I think you just have to grin, bear it, and be glad it's not you.

I think if it’s being handled e.g. parents are trying to control the tantrum, remove a screaming child from the area then a bit of patience is kind because they’re responding to the situation. If parents aren’t dealing with it then they should be embarrassed.

Don't you think that if it was as simple as 'sorting it out' them they would!?

No.

Do you have any children? If so, how did you stop toddler tantrums? Genuinely interested.

I’m sure most parents would try to distract their child / take them out until they had calmed down, where possible.

Sometimes it might not be eg if you have more than one you child and are on your own it might be difficult to walk out having not paid yet

I try to be understanding. That child could be ND and overstimulated (although parent should have taken them out the environment that is distressing them so much anyway).
I try to remember that I have a little snapshot of the kid and parent. I don't have to deal with it 24/7... they do.
The ones that piss me off more are those that ignore the tantrum and think everyone else has to tolerate it.

Yabu, because shame isn't a good motivator for human behaviour. Shaming people won't make things better.

But yanbu to not pretend that it's ok for you.

I think if you feel this is a helpful strategy you should put it into practice and film it whilst doing so. That way you can educate the rest of the world (or entertain it)

Of course it’s not always simple - parenting rarely is. But that’s exactly why I’m not talking about parents who are clearly trying. I’m talking about the ones scrolling their phone while their child shrieks like a siren for 15 minutes. Or the ones who look visibly irritated at everyone else for noticing.

There’s a difference between a tough moment and total abdication of responsibility - and it’s the latter that deserves pushback. Being a parent doesn’t mean the rest of the world has to silently endure chaos while you opt out.

Public shaming isn’t a great way to get someone to see your point.

Truthfully though - keep your nose out, or offer support. Or call the police if a crime is being committed.

I don’t really understand why you would do that. Does it make you feel good to tell them to “sort it out?” What sort of person desires to publicly shame anyone?!? Bizarre post

Generally I find it embarrassing when my child has a tantrum and I hate seeing my child in a state like that.
I can try distraction and comfort but when they are totally dysregulated the only way out is often through. In a restaurant I would have removed her but there's been times (heavily pregnant) I haven't had the physical ability to haul her out.

No, I don’t have children - and I don’t have to in order to expect basic social responsibility in public spaces. I’m not saying toddlers should be silent angels 24/7 (which is impossible), but I am saying parents should at least attempt to manage the situation instead of pretending it’s everyone else’s job to tolerate it.

Tantrums happen - fine. Ignoring them while sipping your latte and scrolling TikTok like nothing’s going on? That’s the issue.

I'd remove dd from the restaurant and one memorable time over my shoulder from a soft play. It's hardly rocket science

I keep a massive bell in my bag at all times just so I can ring it every time I see disobedience from children or insufficient control from parents.

It is very clear you don't have children. As a mum to a toddler, sometimes they have meltdowns and even with you trying your very hardest there is sometimes just no calming them down in that moment. Do you really think parents want to be in that situation themself with their child visibly upset and unable to calm them.

So you think a snapshot of a parent scrolling theif phone of irritation at people suffering from a clear case of rubber-necking deserves your judgment?

Perhaps you should keep your nose out, or ask if they need a big of support?

Things that never happened no 482390752

Sometimes ignoring a tantrum is the best possible thing you can do.

It’s not about feeling good or being cruel - it’s about setting a boundary when someone else’s lack of control is affecting everyone around them. If someone was blaring music on public transport or letting their dog bark non-stop in a cafe, most people wouldn’t hesitate to say something. But when it’s a child, we’re expected to just sit there and smile?

I’m not out here looking to shame struggling parents - I’m talking about those who clearly aren’t even trying. There’s a big difference and pretending there isn’t just lets inconsiderate behaviour slide.

I think tantrums are most strsssful for the parents we go into fight or flight stress mode when they happen and sometimes you do need to ignore them rather than giving in, otherwise they will learn to tantrum anytime they hear a no as they know these get the iPad or treat or whatever else might work to placate them in the short term

I don't think any parent should ignore their child in distress to scroll their phone though
That's very worrying

Sometimes - not always - the kid will get worse if interrupted and it’s quicker to let them ride it out and ignore them.
That said if it was a restaurant or church etc I’d remove them