Page 22 | Called the police

Highfivemum · 2025-04-02T09:41:31+00:00

Had a person contact me previously stating that we shared the same parent. It could be true as had a very difficult and complicated childhood and one which I don’t want to remember. My DB and I chose to ignore it. Two days ago had a visit from a person stating they were related. I shut the door in their face. It was a huge shock and triggered every bad memory though I understand I should have acted better. Yesterday the door went again and it was a different person who also stated they were family and could they talk. I again shut the door. DH was going to stay at home today but had a meeting he had to go to and as soon as DH left for work the door goes again and it is both of them. I shut the door again and I called the police. I know it is not a police issue but I literally am sitting here shaking. DH is on his way home and DB can’t be contacted as away on business. I feel crazy for calling the police and no idea what they will say to me but I was so worried and panicked. Anyone know what can be done. ? I don’t want to know these people and have no idea how they have traced me and found out my address. It is a mess and I feel ill with worry.

Moonnstars · 02/04/2025 18:26

Did the police get back to you?

TheGentleOpalMember · 02/04/2025 18:26

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:21

It's not how you behave no but I think it's cruel not to share information that might help resolve issues for these people whoever they are. Just the decent thing to do. Nobody is suggesting she invites them into her life for good.

Have a bit of empathy! Think how you would feel if you got a 'lead' to someone who had information on say a birth parent, and they slammed the door on your face? They could have been looking for years?

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@mainecooncatonahottinroof Then they'd go through the PROPER channels of a solicitor. Not show up and BANG ON THE DOOR REPEATEDLY and stalk her and frighten her repeatedly and refuse to leave. They laid in wait too as the OP said and started banging again the moment her husband left.

They have options don't don't involve being thugs, stalking, abuse and harassment. Those are write a letter through a solicitor for one, or some other intermediary, which is the done thing in those cases.

How about you have some empathy for a vulnerable woman stalked and abused and hounded by thugs who won't leave her alone and lie in wait until she is alone and her husband left? There is nothing, nothing that can justify what these thugs did to her. They terrorised her. It's sickens me to my stomach that anyone thinks that is even remotely justified.

TheGentleOpalMember · 02/04/2025 18:28

Over40Overdating · 02/04/2025 18:23

It’s no wonder so many women are still abused and killed for not being ‘nice’ when someone who has very cleared stated they are traumatised by their childhood is being repeatedly told that their trauma is less important than being nice and polite and ‘not rude’ to complete strangers who have calculatedly turned up unannounced at OPs home when she is alone in the house.

You holier than thous can be doormats and targets all you want, but you have a bloody cheek not to mention a total lack of empathy to come on here berating op for not giving these cheeky fuckers the time of day.

No one with good intentions would do what they have done.
Their needs or trauma don’t over ride OPs. I’d suggest the people who think they do examine how they treat other people in their lives or allow others to treat them because to doesn’t reflect well from either angle.

Yes. There are some really scummy people on here siding with the aggressors and telling the OP to 'Be Kind'. Ffs this is 2025, when will we stop admonishing women for not wanting to be stalked, harassed and abused in their safe space - their home?

OP owes these people nothing. Not....one....thing. They're thugs. They owe her respect and the ability to accept NO for an answer and leave her alone and not terrorise her in her own home! They have no empathy and no respect and by the sound of them if OP wasn't turned off talking to them before, she sure is now! I reckon they've done their dash.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:28

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 02/04/2025 18:22

These people have clearly disregarded the OP’s right to privacy and have invaded her space without invitation, not once, but numerous times. How anyone could think that the OP is in the wrong is beyond me. Clearly, you have no boundaries and are happy to invade strangers’ spaces without concern for their feelings. Extremely odd and totally unempathetic.

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Clearly you are just rude.

They went about it all the wrong way but BECAUSE I do have empathy, I feel it's cruel to reject them out of hand.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:29

TheGentleOpalMember · 02/04/2025 18:26

@mainecooncatonahottinroof Then they'd go through the PROPER channels of a solicitor. Not show up and BANG ON THE DOOR REPEATEDLY and stalk her and frighten her repeatedly and refuse to leave. They laid in wait too as the OP said and started banging again the moment her husband left.

They have options don't don't involve being thugs, stalking, abuse and harassment. Those are write a letter through a solicitor for one, or some other intermediary, which is the done thing in those cases.

How about you have some empathy for a vulnerable woman stalked and abused and hounded by thugs who won't leave her alone and lie in wait until she is alone and her husband left? There is nothing, nothing that can justify what these thugs did to her. They terrorised her. It's sickens me to my stomach that anyone thinks that is even remotely justified.

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I SAID WHAT HOW THEY WENT ABOUT IT WAS WRONG!!!

Oh listen it's not worth arguing with some people. Think what you like.

TheGentleOpalMember · 02/04/2025 18:31

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:28

Clearly you are just rude.

They went about it all the wrong way but BECAUSE I do have empathy, I feel it's cruel to reject them out of hand.

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You clearly have zero empathy for the OP, the actual victim in all this. You should be ashamed of yourself.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 02/04/2025 18:32

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:21

It's not how you behave no but I think it's cruel not to share information that might help resolve issues for these people whoever they are. Just the decent thing to do. Nobody is suggesting she invites them into her life for good.

Have a bit of empathy! Think how you would feel if you got a 'lead' to someone who had information on say a birth parent, and they slammed the door on your face? They could have been looking for years?

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I wouldn't have just turned up on someone's doorstep, and loitered about. I'd have tried to find out who they were and find a way to contact them by letter/email and if it was really something highly important, have gone through a solicitor or other legal route.

TheGentleOpalMember · 02/04/2025 18:32

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:29

I SAID WHAT HOW THEY WENT ABOUT IT WAS WRONG!!!

Oh listen it's not worth arguing with some people. Think what you like.

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Yet you admonished the OP to 'have empathy' to people literally TERRORISED her. A bunch of thugs who terrorised her.

Where is your empathy for her?

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:33

TheGentleOpalMember · 02/04/2025 18:31

You clearly have zero empathy for the OP, the actual victim in all this. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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I am totally not ashamed. I have nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of. These people while I condemn their actions wholeheartedly are clearly very desperate. I don't know how you made that wild assumption???

Jeez you can't even express a point of view without being piled on and insulted.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 02/04/2025 18:37

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:28

Clearly you are just rude.

They went about it all the wrong way but BECAUSE I do have empathy, I feel it's cruel to reject them out of hand.

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But no empathy at all for the OP after all she has described? That’s what I call rude.

Theseventhmagpie · 02/04/2025 18:37

hereslooking · 02/04/2025 10:56

theyve not really done anything wrong. What do you expect the police to do to them?
you need to actually speak to these ‘siblings’ and say you don’t want any contact and to leave you alone

This. They may not know what a difficult time you’ve had but a polite conversation stating that you don’t want to have contact is surely possible?

TheGentleOpalMember · 02/04/2025 18:37

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:33

I am totally not ashamed. I have nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of. These people while I condemn their actions wholeheartedly are clearly very desperate. I don't know how you made that wild assumption???

Jeez you can't even express a point of view without being piled on and insulted.

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No they are not desperate, they are entitled thugs, more likely scammers, as other posters on this thread said it happened to them and it was a scam. It is the OP that is desperate to not be terrorised and stalked and harassed. And even if they are genuine, they can be 'desperate' all they want, they should have prepared themselves for the possibility she wouldn't want to know them. As all adopted children/newly found family would know, rejection is a huge possibility. Instead they decided they would steamroll OP, and terrorise her. Anyone who has 'empathy' for those thugs and not the OP if not ashamed has some sort of humanity chip missing imo.

Morporkia · 02/04/2025 18:40

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mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:40

Nothing missing about me. Have you quite finished villifying me yet?

BBT213 · 02/04/2025 18:41

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:33

I am totally not ashamed. I have nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of. These people while I condemn their actions wholeheartedly are clearly very desperate. I don't know how you made that wild assumption???

Jeez you can't even express a point of view without being piled on and insulted.

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Yet YOU have made the wild assumption that they are "desperate" - how ironic.

They are impatient, rude and thick as gravy for not getting the hint. Those are facts from their behaviour.

Desperate? No. Just obnoxious.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:43

Theseventhmagpie · 02/04/2025 18:37

This. They may not know what a difficult time you’ve had but a polite conversation stating that you don’t want to have contact is surely possible?

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Oh please don't talk sense - it's not allowed!!

Not impressed with the name calling either from people who describe themselves as empaths!! Irony much.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:43

BBT213 · 02/04/2025 18:41

Yet YOU have made the wild assumption that they are "desperate" - how ironic.

They are impatient, rude and thick as gravy for not getting the hint. Those are facts from their behaviour.

Desperate? No. Just obnoxious.

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If you say so.

Megifer · 02/04/2025 18:47

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/04/2025 18:43

Oh please don't talk sense - it's not allowed!!

Not impressed with the name calling either from people who describe themselves as empaths!! Irony much.

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Who are the multiple people who have described themselves as empaths?

Lying much?

Mo819 · 02/04/2025 18:48

I hope your OK now.

Charlize43 · 02/04/2025 18:49

Is this really a police matter? What do you expect them to do and who do you expect them to arrest?

TheGentleOpalMember · 02/04/2025 18:51

Charlize43 · 02/04/2025 18:49

Is this really a police matter? What do you expect them to do and who do you expect them to arrest?

Did you read all OP's posts on this thread, @Charlize43 ? They stalked her, they intimidated her in her home, they lay in wait until the moment her husband left for work then started banging again, and they stayed on her property and refused to leave when asked. That is stalking, harassment and trespassing at least. Which are crime for which the police, the keepers of the peace, are there to respond to.

Charlize43 · 02/04/2025 18:56

TheGentleOpalMember · 02/04/2025 18:51

Did you read all OP's posts on this thread, @Charlize43 ? They stalked her, they intimidated her in her home, they lay in wait until the moment her husband left for work then started banging again, and they stayed on her property and refused to leave when asked. That is stalking, harassment and trespassing at least. Which are crime for which the police, the keepers of the peace, are there to respond to.

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Did they even show up?

Ilikeadrink14 · 02/04/2025 19:09

Scout2016 · 02/04/2025 16:41

Sorry if this has bern suggested but is it possible they have some information such as herititory medical diagnosis that they want to pass on?

If so, and especially given the reception they got when they tried to call, I would think a letter would be in order. I hope the OP would have the sense to read it (or maybe her husband, if she doesn’t feel able) because it could include vital information.

FluffyRabbitGal · 02/04/2025 19:11

Cloudyvibes · 02/04/2025 10:50

Have you told them you don’t want nothing to do with them or just literally shut the door in their face?

I think repeatedly shutting the door on them sends a pretty clear message!

Blogswife · 02/04/2025 19:13

It doesn’t matter what these people had to say to Op they were out of order to turn up at her house and persistently harass her after she was clear that she wanted nothing to do with them
I doubt very much that they have a single piece of information to pass on as they could have done that there & then with DH
I think you were right to report these people to the police. You don’t know who they are or what they want and they are harassing you after you made it clear that they were not welcome . They could be genuine or they may well be targeting you & others .
Whatever the situation they’ve clearly triggered some trauma . If they do write to you , I suggest you get DH to read the email / letter first Op and then write a very strongly worded letter back instructing them to cease contact .