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Original poster

Husbands messages to a friend

211 replies

PRGirlUK · 01/04/2025 13:54

Here's a message exchange between my husband and what was one of my close friends. I became aware of it as I watched it come through live on a computer I was using, which was synced to his phone he was using downstairs.

Husband - Oi [name of friend] how are you? X
Friend – Alreety poppet. I'm v good thanks. Is you ok? X
Husband - Good ta beautiful: you need to get your beautiful arse out for a drink. X
Friend - My god damn arse will be out tomoz. Is you??
Husband - Hell yeah, look forward to seeing you. X
Friend - Don't get too excited only ickle pikey me lol. Will be good night looking forward
to seeing yas all x
Husband - You is all any man needs. Yum. X
Friend - Pfffffff yeah. Know of any spare ones
Husband - No just me.
Friend - Hmmmmmm
Husband - Your call eventually
Friend - Wat is?????
Husband - Nothing. See you tomorrow. X
Friend - Have a drink poppet x

I saw the friend the next day and she did not mention it. When I eventually challenged my husband he brushed it off as nothing and just banter, effectively minimising the impact it had on me, and that it was in my head that there was anything wrong with it. To me it is unacceptable and devastated me. Thoughts?

OP posts:
TheJinxMinx · 01/04/2025 22:40

He actively propositioned her offering an affair or some sort of relationship saying your call. She is also actively engaging in this when he says beautiful etc she doesn't once mention you or mention thats not appropriate. I'm sorry OP that is not friend or darling husband. Its easy to sit behind a keyboard and say get rid of both but really you deserve so much better dont let him be-little what you say and what it really is. You know the truth deep down dont just accept it do something about it

k1233 · 01/04/2025 22:47

Does he talk like that in real life? It's awful.

You're not overreacting. It's not bants. It's a sleaze looking for an opportunity.

Isthiswhatmenthink · 01/04/2025 22:47

She previously told my H that he would be her H one day

Fucking hell. Total pair of cunts. I’m really sorry, OP. The pair of illiterate twats are welcome to each other.

TheGentleOpalMember · 01/04/2025 22:50

Husband - you need to get your beautiful arse out for a drink. X

Husband - Your call eventually

He is offering himself to her. He's a cheating bastard, and she is scum for flirting with a married man especially the husband of her friend.

What sort of married man says to another woman your beautiful arse

They are both trash, sorry OP.

CaffeineNChaos · 01/04/2025 22:51

loropianalover · 01/04/2025 13:57

The grammar and spelling alone would have me reeling.

This.

but in all seriousness he’s actively looking to cheat he just needs someone to say yes. You don’t talk like that to someone who your not pursuing

AliBaliBee1234 · 01/04/2025 22:54

I would have thrown him out or left. The absolute disrespect!!

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 01/04/2025 22:54

Ali G in da house?

eyesoncctv · 01/04/2025 23:01

”YUM” 🤢 Bin them both, OP!

Crikeyalmighty · 01/04/2025 23:18

im definitely getting Jeremy Kyle vibes here

AlwaysTheRenegade · 01/04/2025 23:23

Get rid of them both.

AlwaysTheRenegade · 01/04/2025 23:27

How long have you been friends with the girl? He's an arsehole, 100% . But she didn't really put him off. Could have at least said something after the "yum" part Envy I don't think I would have replied at all after that. Sorry you had to see that xx

AlwaysTheRenegade · 01/04/2025 23:32

So sorry I didn't see your update. She's an absolute dickhead saying that. Your husband's a twat. How long ago did she say that? Unforgivable Flowers

MsDogLady · 02/04/2025 06:49

@PRGirlUK, how long ago and under what circumstances did Friend tell your H that he would be her H some day? He sounds enchanted with her, and is waiting on her to give him the green light for some action. In the meantime they enjoy a sparky, ego-boosting dynamic that makes a mockery of you. Have they been meeting up 1:1 or pairing up when in a group?

I was just rereading his despicable responses to your pain. Instead of showing remorse for approaching Friend to drool over and proposition her, he protected their relationship by trashing your valid feelings, claiming harmless banter (it’s not), and shifting the blame to your being unreasonable (you’re not).

Next he’ll be rewriting history to justify his transgressions and to swerve taking responsibility for his destructive choices.

What is your family/living situation, @PRGirlUK? Do you have a plan?

Powderblue1 · 02/04/2025 07:02

Oh wow OP that’s awful. Whilst I agree it’s one sided, I think your friend should have shut it down or not replied. I wouldn’t be happy with either of them

FarmGirl78 · 02/04/2025 12:31

So he's going spare and it's just up to her now? I'd kick him so far out of my life he wouldn't bounce for at least half a mile. What an absolute rat. If you need binbags to put his stuff in then send me your address and I'll nip into B&M on the way.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 02/04/2025 12:39

Your husband is a player.

Rosie8880 · 02/04/2025 15:50

PRGirlUK · 01/04/2025 18:49

Sadly not a joke. All true. She previously told my H that he would be her H one day. I'm glad I called him out and thanks all for the validation of my reaction. What an absolute twat. Am done with both. It's a betrayal in my eyes and I deserve better. And the cringe speak just is the icing on the cake!

She said that - oh dear. Even in jest/ humour i can’t a situation where that would be a non out of order comment. On top of your husband being a tool/ deceitful/ gaslighter/ liar, your pal also isn’t your pal. I’m sorry lovely this is going on/ happened - and come back on here if want any further support. Take care X

RunningJo · 02/04/2025 15:55

I’d screen shot the message, correct the spelling and grammar and send it to them both

seriously though, I’m sorry this is happening Op. Massively sleazy behaviour on your husbands part, and your friend clearly likes the attention.

MsDogLady · 03/04/2025 02:52

How are you doing now, @PRGirlUK?

Onthemaintrunkline · 03/04/2025 03:40

He’s testing the water, if she’s up for it I’d say he most likely would be. The language he uses is unacceptably provocative.

I don’t know how you deal with this, 2 people close to you, one the absolute closest and you read this. I’d hazard a guess say she’s being polite, what he thinks he’s doing heaven only knows, but it’s nowhere, nowhere close to ok.

Catontoof · 03/04/2025 04:37

You were there
you were the person eating you are the person who has had an ED so you know if it's a binge or not.
I don't personally think that's a binge as you say it's an off day but it's not a binge (I also know what a binge is sadly)
perhaps talk to him about how some words can be triggering for you

medlobath · 03/04/2025 06:13

The language and grammar alone was criminal!
They sort of sound the same . Maybe you could do better OP?

Remainsofthehay · 03/04/2025 06:42

That isn't banter from this barely literate chump, he obviously wants to shag her.

But she is no friend either as a decent one would shut that shit down immediately.

What is your situation op? Do you have children? Are you able to get those ducks in a row?

Nothing would make me stay with this disgraceful thicko for a day longer than I had to.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 03/04/2025 06:45

loropianalover · 01/04/2025 13:57

The grammar and spelling alone would have me reeling.

I wouldn't stay married to anyone based on that alone. The fact he wants to get into her pants is secondary. Ditto for friend. They'd be welcome to their ridiculous baby talk.

PopeJoan2 · 03/04/2025 06:49

She’s joking along with him because she is used to having this kind of banter with him -and I am guessing with you too, op. She doesn’t want to have to tell him straight that she isn’t interested as she doesn’t want to move the chat into serious territory. However the “wat is????” suggests genuine shock. The question marks function as exclamations! When she says “yas all” she is deliberately bringing op into the equation, making it clear that this meeting will be with all 3, but it suggests that all 3 are used to talking to each other like this. Is that the case, op?

Her parting shot exhorting him to have a drink shows not only that she isn’t interested but that she thinks he has overstepped.

That’s my analysis. Even though I fancy myself as a linguist I am far from being one.