Husbands messages to a friend

[PRGirlUK]

Here's a message exchange between my husband and what was one of my close friends. I became aware of it as I watched it come through live on a computer I was using, which was synced to his phone he was using downstairs.

Husband - Oi [name of friend] how are you? X
Friend – Alreety poppet. I'm v good thanks. Is you ok? X
Husband - Good ta beautiful: you need to get your beautiful arse out for a drink. X
Friend - My god damn arse will be out tomoz. Is you??
Husband - Hell yeah, look forward to seeing you. X
Friend - Don't get too excited only ickle pikey me lol. Will be good night looking forward
to seeing yas all x
Husband - You is all any man needs. Yum. X
Friend - Pfffffff yeah. Know of any spare ones
Husband - No just me.
Friend - Hmmmmmm
Husband - Your call eventually
Friend - Wat is?????
Husband - Nothing. See you tomorrow. X
Friend - Have a drink poppet x

I saw the friend the next day and she did not mention it. When I eventually challenged my husband he brushed it off as nothing and just banter, effectively minimising the impact it had on me, and that it was in my head that there was anything wrong with it. To me it is unacceptable and devastated me. Thoughts?

Okay, re reading the conversation, something has been going on hasn’t it?
whether something’s already happened between them, or they’ve just talked about it. There’s definitely been something. You don’t just say ‘your call eventually’ out of the blue.

can you join them for a drink tomorrow and confront her?

i would print the exchange off and substitute your name in and the name of one of his friends. Ask him to read it from start to finish and then ask him if he thinks this is appropriate. If he still brushes it off start the process of kicking him out. What an absolute ballsack he is!

She previously told my H that he would be her H one day.

Okay then. That explains the buzzy frisson between them and his ‘your call eventually’. He is ready whenever she is. She has never been a true Friend or a friend of your marriage. He is a dirty dog bastard of the highest order who is happy to humiliate and cheat on you.

@PRGirlUK, this pair of disloyal Snakes deserve each other. Send him to hers with a big red bow around his neck.

I really am sorry for this double whammy of betrayal.

So glad to read that you're done with the pair of them OP. What a disgusting pair they are, they deserve each other, and YOU deserve MUCH better than someone who texts drivel like this. Get him GONE!!

Is this how we types/writes normally?? Huge ick!

Yes this is awful.

Husband needs binning (but get your ducks in a row first with a lawyer and a plan before you tell him) as he was trying to cheat and he doesn't respect you and how can you trust him or feel safe with him again

Friend shut him down but also seems flattered by the attention - I couldn't be friends with her anymore after this tbh although she's not been as bad. I wonder if she has told any other friends about this, how humiliating for you (even though you've done nothing wrong).

1- Is your husband 12? The way they both talk is so cringe. Eurgh!
2- Your husband definitely fancies your friend
3- Your friend is no friend if she doesn’t tell you about this
4- Please get rid of them both!

I was fully ready to bat for the friend because I have been that friend and know how to politely put him off without causing friction because I'm a chronic people pleaser I know how messengers get shot.
But I remembered to read the OP updates and thought her previous comment about him crossed the line.

Me too!!! It’s got the opposite effect to flirting in the end. Builders’ talk!!! Yuk

Put them both in the bin. He’s desperate for a go and she’s stringing him along.

Any decent friend would have told you about the exchange and any decent man wouldn’t have flirted.

I don’t know about anyone else but I was reading it in a deep Scottish accent.

Joking aside, I’m sorry OP - this is truly shit.

I still don’t think she sounds that interested, even after your update OP. I think she enjoys the attention and banter about being together one day but in this exchange she is stopping short of suggesting a drink on their own, which is what he was angling for. She shouldn’t be getting involved with his nonsense though, she should be shutting it down. And he, needless to say, is despicable. You can’t trust or rely on either.

I honestly truly can’t believe you’re even having to ask. Wow.

They are both revolting.

The friend here is trying to minimise/brush off OP’s husband’s flirting… she is not interested.
It’s all him.

Nails it

Everyone saying she isn’t interested… Yeah, right… ! She isn’t exactly closing it down is she?! Come on.

OP, I’m sorry, this is shitty.

Don’t think poppet is ever used in Sco… NE England, maybe…

This is all him, she sounds like she's shutting him down and he's not picking it up. She says, it's only me, then says seeing you all, like she's shifting it as a group thing and then saying any spares -I assume she's asking if there will be single men? He keeps bringing it back to her but she's pushing him away.
I'd absolutely leave him in any case, that's disgusting from a married man and I'd not want to be with a man who spoke like that, even playfully it's gross.
She should have told you what he's doing but she didn't seem interested in him based on this interaction.

She could have just not replied ! Or emoji liked his last one to finish the exchange. I mean come on…. Seriously? You think that isn’t engaging?

Alreety poppet. I'm v good thanks. Is you ok? X

Her words and grammar are awful. She's made me feel sick.

I’m amazed that people are enough to think that the friend isn’t enjoying this. That is absolutely not someone trying to shut down the flirting. She’s deliberately doing just enough to keep him interested.

I agree. Plus OP’s update that people seem to have missed.

Sadly not a joke. All true. She previously told my H that he would be her H one day

I would dump him for the way he texts alone. Well rid.

This isn't flirting or banter he's literally telling her he wants her. Sorry OP- based on his use of language and behaviour I'd say you're better off