First Mother’s Day - DH didn’t put anything on socials

[Genie98]

AIBU to be a bit gutted that my DH didn’t put a post up on socials yesterday to mark my first Mother’s Day? My feeds were full of other posts celebrating their Mum’s and I was hoping DH would have done something to mark the occasion. He has done the odd birthday post in the past and posted about our engagement/wedding etc so it’s not that he has never used it.

Just feeling a bit deflated and a bit jealous of my mum friends who had lovely messages and photo’s from their OH’s.

I would agree. I feel for your partner if, for next year, he has to add a reminder to not forget to publicise on Instagram, as well as book a roast, get a card, flowers, chocolates etc etc. He sounds an attentive and appreciative partner.

You can help how you feel. Feelings come from thoughts and you are choosing to think negatively about this. He did lots of lovely stuff for you. Focus on the positive and forget about the artificial crap show that social media is. It makes you sound like a child, not someone who is old enough to be a mother.

ffs

Stories, plural??

Sorry @Genie98 but you're as shallow as a puddle and as thick as mince. Here's hoping motherhood teaches you what the real priorities are.

Step away from social media. This isn’t healthy.

Sorry but you sound ungrateful and superficial. Why should your husband wish you on Instagram, when a) you are not his mother and b) he gave you stuff in the real world? Are you the type who constantly compares their life to others based on their posts or someone who spends unnecessary time and money to portray a certain look online? If so, please re-evaluate your behaviours, especially since you are a mother now. I hope you weren't sulking at your husband because of this. It is quite sad.

I agree with Pp that you don't have a healthy relationship with social media if you think this is a problem. Your DH did mark the occasion with gifts and a meal. If you read some posts on here you will see that is a lot more than some mum's got.

I didn't see very many sickly gushy posts on facebook yesterday thankfully.

If you are looking for some "insta perfect" sort of life, then you will never be happy.

They always say the love is in the actions not the words.

No I haven’t mentioned anything to hubby. I think he’d be annoyed if I did

The Mother’s Day posts of social media make me cringe so hard. YABVU. You aren’t his mother.

I thought it was just celebs that had to make a song and dance out of Mother’s Day on social media along. Do people really do this? nothing wrong in keeping it private.

and this is what makes women hard work!

I think you need to snap out of it very quickly. Your DP made an effort- but you’re upset about him not posting about it on social media?!!!

Time to take a long hard look at what matters.

OP if you feel secure in the arms of your DH honestly that is all that matters, gushing on social media to me is like back slapping - look how great I am telling you how wonderful my wife is, he needs to tell YOU NOT the world, it’s silly in my view.
Your DH could wax lyrical on social media and b- -t the s- -t out of you behind closed doors.

Yes but SM turns people like @Genie98 into celebs-in-their-own-mind. Thinking everyone cares about the minutae of their perfectly curated life.

#blessed

what do you think people did before the performative nonsense that gets posted on socials? Did they sit at home weeping and feeling ignored by the wider world or did they just enjoy life events with their loved ones?

Can you pinpoint why you feel gutted?

I don't really understand why people would make a public post sending some kind of greetings to people they actually live with.

OP you're being a bit dramatic. You got a lovely mother's day compared to my best friend who had an absolutly awful one as her husband didn't get her anything (she has two young toddlers)
I didn't get a post on social media either and thank the lords because I don't think he has one single nice photo of me on his phone 🤣🤣 I got lovely presents, a card and a lunch out at harvester. That'll do me!

It’s usually my default answer to anything these days. I miss the 90’s 😭

You're not your husband's mother. Hopefully.

I know it’s a bit silly and I’m sure I’ll snap out of it!
It's more that just a 'bit silly'. Focus on reality and what you have.

Comparison is the thief of joy. It sounds like you had a lovely Mother’s Day so try to ignore all of the social media posts

If you’re not the author of the birthday post (also ridiculous), it’s weird that you’re using exactly the same language.

Can’t believe anyone gives a shit about showing off on “socials”, it’s not real life and I thought people knew that.

So you went out for a meal and he bought you flowers etc and acknowledged the day for you, but you’re upset because he didn’t make a post that’s actually for the benefit of other people on social media? I think you need to reassess your priorities… showing off for others is more important than him actually celebrating it with you…

Having a growing number of friends who have lost their mums and even more who are infertile, having recurrent miscarriages, going through failed attempts of IVF etc., I never put anything about Mother’s Day on my WhatsApp. I don’t have other social media beyond that and MN. It’s a difficult day for many.

I think that's a really important point. If any of your friends are struggling with mother's day, the kind of post you wanted them to see @Genie98 would be incredibly painful for them. Why would you want that?

Why would he post about you on SM when you are not his mum? How bizarre.