Mother’s Day disappointment aibu

[genderguessesplz]

i have a daughter age 2, and am 14 weeks pregnant with baby 2.

All week I’ve seen a gift bag in the dining room that says happy Mother’s Day on it, I was really looking forward to seeing what daddy and my toddler might have picked for me.

i opened a mug that says mum, I am known as mummy as my daughter is only tiny. My husband told me his sister had bought it had got it to him, so he didn’t even choose it

I feel sad that my husband didn’t do it and I’ve put the mug in a charity bag as I don’t want a Mother’s Day gift from my sister in law. Only my child or husband

am I being unreasonable here.

Thank you for all your comments, and for those who have made me feel validated that it’s been a bit rubbish.
i brought it up with my husband who has turned it into ‘you are getting upset over a mug’

Your DH could have made a little bit of effort. A small box of chocs from the shops, at the very least. He's lazy, sorry OP. 💐

He doesn’t even accept that HE should have chose the gift and not his sister ?

Yes, a mug and only a mug.

'No, I'm getting upset over the complete lack of thought or effort from people I do so much for.'

I think I'm in a minority but I was bit meh about mothers day when I only had babies. My husband didn’t do anything for me when they were small and I honestly wasn’t bothered as we were working as a team to get through those years. When they got older he helped them choose something for me themselves and now they are much older they are sorting it for themselves. At the time If it didn’t come directly from the children themselves I didn’t really think anything of it! Seemed strange to me my husband buying something from them.

This ! Some people on MN obviously have very low expectations from the human race or are just antagonistic for giggles.
DS1 called me this morning from Australia
DS2 called last night from Japan and a card arrived today from him
DD1 a bunch of daffodils,thoughtful card and lovely afternoon at a local park with granddaughter and newborn.
Very little monetary value ,but just nice thoughtful gestures.
Husband also gave me some daffodils this morning as well .

If he and your toddler had picked it out together, I’d say you were being unreasonable. But your SIL was the one who bought it? No, I’m on your side. Mother’s Day presents should be chosen by your children, your spouse, and/or the children’s other parent.

Letting the two-year-old fingerprint and giving you that for a present would have been better, even.

Does he do anything for you? Tbh I’m not interested in pretend days given special meaning. It upsets some people for a variety of reasons. Stop recognising Father’s Day if you do atm and life will be easier. He’ll never be any different and your kids can make you a card when old enough.

The OP’s husband, for some reason, didn’t do as she expected. Maybe it’s because he has the emotional intelligence of pond weed or because he thought a mug is enough (some women are happy with a card, nothing wrong with that).

I didn’t say the OP should shut up and smile, I said that if she wants something specific, she needs to say.

I said she's not being unreasonable to be upset so yes, I'd hope that she would feel better. The comments about what my dc have done were to show no one is wrong for wanting a show of appreciation on one day of the year that is to celebrate mothers.

Tell him the truth. Do the same effort for him for Father's Day.

He’s also blaming my reaction on pregnancy hormones, I probably shouldn’t have said I’m getting rid of the mug.
maybe I was a bit petulant there

hes making out he’s been stressed with work and it takes a village to raise a child and hence why he got his sister to help

I have said I don’t want this to happen again if not from him or my DC for special occasions I don’t want the item as it’s the meaning behind it for me

to clarify grateful to my sister in law but I do think even she must have a sense of - say if a valentines card was bought for her by her boyfriends sister - just doesn’t give the same impact and it’s almost like ‘this’ll keep her happy’ rather than ‘I love her this will make her smile can’t wait’

The irony of your "not in the spirit" comment!

Throw it in the charity bag, it will only annoy you to see it. No point in keeping a "mother's Day present" for years that means nothing to you. Sil won't know or care.

Why though? Literally, why would anyone keep some naff mum mug permanently that doesn't even mean anything? That's just stupid.

Some women are better at rationalizing shitness from men. So when they see how crap others would consider their partners they take it personally.

Well at least OP had agreed it was petulant.

She said maybe. After hundreds of posts telling her how crap she was.

I’ll assume you’re replying to me, without tagging?

FYI

i know im being a tiny bit petulant with the charity bag thing

That’s not a “maybe”.

Check her latest post.

Its good you rejected the mug, and it’s good you will respond in kind for Father’s Day,

He WILL use this as an excuse to it buy you any more presents ever though… my dad did this.

Agree

learn to tag!! 🤦‍♀️