Mother’s Day disappointment aibu

[genderguessesplz]

i have a daughter age 2, and am 14 weeks pregnant with baby 2.

All week I’ve seen a gift bag in the dining room that says happy Mother’s Day on it, I was really looking forward to seeing what daddy and my toddler might have picked for me.

i opened a mug that says mum, I am known as mummy as my daughter is only tiny. My husband told me his sister had bought it had got it to him, so he didn’t even choose it

I feel sad that my husband didn’t do it and I’ve put the mug in a charity bag as I don’t want a Mother’s Day gift from my sister in law. Only my child or husband

am I being unreasonable here.

Absolutely pathetic

Hardly the most most thoughtful of gifts but seriously, you have put it in charity a bag??

I don't know anyone who truly cares about MD in this way. It is a bit like valentines day where women seem to put a lot of expectation on a very commercialised date only to get upset when expectations aren't met.

I think if it really matters to you and you want better gifts and more attention then you need to spell it out. Personally, I couldn't get worked up over this - and one day you will be called Mum.

Get him a dad version for fathers day!

💐

Yanbu to be disappointed that your h didn’t bother.

Yabu to not thank SIL for acting like your h’s mum and buying you a gift. Tell her that it’s your h’s job and it’s his job to do something next time.

Yabu to send SIL’s gift to the charity shop because it doesn’t say mummy. Grow up.

So DS1 and DD didn't bother to even get you a card ? I would be sad.

I do think you are being unreasonable.

You got a present. whether your husband or his sister bought it, it was still bought with the intention of being off your child.

How wasteful that you have already put it in the charity bag. Move on or you will spoil the day.

Your husband is not responsible for your Mothers Day feelings. You're not his mother. You should have been incredibly effusive towards your daughter, with regards to her present.

I think you need to grow up a bit. 🤷‍♀️

Don't be sad on my behalf. I'm happy with what I have received. My base line is at least a video call. If no cards, no gift but no call either I'd be disappointed I'd not done a good job. But happy with what they give me every day in terms of other things so no card, which very well might come tomorrow as our post is diabolical, is no problem.

DS1 has cooked lunch, provided all ingredients, cleaned the oven and drove an hour to get here. So no sadness here. He also gave me some home made wine.

It's to do with going to your mother church.

The present iteration is commercialised, invented nonsense.

Just posted on a different thread about yet another mothers day drama queen.
My sister is sat at her daughters grave side today i can only imagine what she feels like.

Honestly
I don’t get the angst about Mother’s Day .
I couldn’t give a stuff.
Told my DCs not to waste money on rubbish flowers that are double the price just because it’s Mother’s Day

You and me both, abolish all days like this, valentines etc, it just leads to angst!

Bulbs are lovely as presents.
Our back garden is full of flowers from bulbs bought for Mother’s Day or birthdays.

just a thought

Do you often act like a petulant child?

That’s so very sad, sorry 💔

Absolutely

Did you voice what you wanted? Like “let’s go to the beach now”?

if not, why not?

I assume you’ve joined your DH with phone scrolling?

Your daughter is too young to know anything about mother's day and you're not your husband's mother! Take the mug out of the charity bag and be pleased your husband remembered

OP I get it and I also understand why you wouldn't want to keep the mug - it'd only remind you of how you felt undervalued today.

I was also hoping for a gift this mother's day (my first one!) and let my husband know earlier in the week. Said even just flowers would be fine. He agreed. I put it in the calendar so he wouldn't forget. Woke up to nothing. So I mentioned to him that he said he'd get me flowers. He came back with a bunch of flowers and an attitude and kind of ruined it. Said he didn't realise husbands had to give wives things on mothers day (I mean my 7 month old can't exactly give me anything without his input??). I told him that I expect him to match the effort he know I'd make for father's day (card, chocs, going out somewhere nice - we've been together 11 years and he knows I like to celebrate holidays).

Luckily my lovely parents came round with a card and a potted plant which was nice (I'd invited them round so I could treat my mum to some scones for mothers day, not some sort of emergency summit 🤣).

Really fucking annoying that he knew what I wanted and still refused to do the minimum (in a day and age where he can get things ordered last minute on deliveroo if he fucks up).

Doesn't matter if other posters don't care about mothers day, the point is that you do. And your husband knows this. And he still didn't give enough of a shit to spend a few minutes picking up something nice or meaningful for you.

Thank you 😊

It’s not about the mug or the monetary value; it’s the fact my husband after all I do for him (I’m often alone with toddler and currently pregnant while he works away) can’t even just get this sorted and is being babied by his sister
As for previous years he never makes much effort but usually it’s something from him at least,

i will not be participating in Father’s Day, if nursery do him a card he can have that and that’s all.

i know life is short and i need to set a good example but if it won’t mean anything to him what is the point

Nursery made me a card; he knew about it and let me find it early as well

The thing that the "why didn't you just arrange/buy something for yourself" people miss is that it feels hollow when you have to arrange your own celebration. I don't want to take everyone out to the park and force them to celebrate my input, I want them to think about me and know that I would love spending time with them in the sun.

The flowers I got mean nothing to me because it feels like I got them for myself.

It's how someone acts after they know they've fucked up which can make or break the day. At least being apologetic and trying to do something thoughtful and nice for someone you supposedly care about 🤷‍♀️

Then why bother comment? Whether you agree or not, OP is upset at the lack of effort and thought her DP has put in. I don’t understand why someone who doesn’t agree with Mother’s Day to the extent they’d be “disappointed if their son got them a card” would bother comment on a Mother’s Day thread, other than to sit on their high horse wielding some kind of moral superiority sword.

It doesn’t interest you? Fine, but don’t try and bring someone down who’s clearly already feeling a bit fragile, even if you personally don’t agree.

I have now since there was nothing to do. Yes he knows I wanted to go somewhere but silly me wanted him to choose so I could not have to make a decision for once. So he chose shopping.