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Original poster

Friend posting things to my parents house

218 replies

HattenO · 29/03/2025 15:29

Hi all. I'm British but we now live in north of France (my DP is french).

I have a friend here who is Canadian but also lives here in France. She is aware we are going over to the UK to visit and stay with my parents over Easter. She asked me a couple of weeks ago if she could order something online from the UK which can only be delivered to a UK address and if she could get it posted to my parents house and I could collect it for her when we are all over at easter. No worries I said, I'll let my parents know and I'm sure that's fine. I gave her the address to use.

She replied later that day to say thank you and she had ordered 3 things which would be delivered separately. Okay that fine I said (although she hadn't told me it was 3 things beforehand). My parents let me know when each of the packages had been delivered - then messaged me to day a 4th had come.Before I got round to messaging my friend about this - she messaged me saying I hope you don't mind but I ordered just one more thing. I said yes I know it's already arrived you have all 4 things at my parents already. Today my dad messaged me to inform me that yesterday a 5th parcel arrived for her and today a 6th parcel. I knew absolutely nothing about it. My dad is pretty unhappy. He feels like his house is being used as a parcel delivery Depot for someone he doesn't even know so now he's narky with me.

How unreasonable am I being to be feeling bloody annoyed with this friend and how would you handle it. Truth be told I'm not very good at asserting myself in situations like this and I don't want to be impolite.

Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 29/03/2025 15:31

Would message friend saying she’s taken the piss and that your parents will turn away any more attempted deliveries.

AvoidingPandaEyes · 29/03/2025 15:32

You don’t have to be impolite, you just have to state that your parents want her to stop sending things to their house.

I hope you have enough room in your luggage to bring it all home.

SparklyGlitterballs · 29/03/2025 15:34

Apologise unreservedly to your dad and let him know the agreement was for only 3 parcels and let him know you'll speak to the friend. Call the friend asap and let her know she is not to order any more parcels (ever) as your parents are unhappy about more arriving than they agreed to receive.

I'd also be pissed that she's probably now expecting you to fetch 6 parcels back?

FidosMum84 · 29/03/2025 15:35

You also need to find out what’s in the parcels before you take them through customs. She could be getting you to courier pretty much anything!
Have you got space to bring them back? If not I’d say that wasn’t what you agreed and she can arrange onward courier from your parents address to hers.

Shinyandnew1 · 29/03/2025 15:36

What is she ordering?!

I wouldn't fancy filling my luggage allowance up with a load of someone else's parcels and wouldn't be happy to take it through customs as I couldn't say Id packed my case and knew what was it in!

I would ring her now and say she had asked for 1 thing and your dad is now really pissed off.

RickiRaccoon · 29/03/2025 15:43

That's a lot of parcels! It's a bit cheeky but I don't know I'd be that upset. I'm assuming you are driving rather than flying and have space for so much extra. Otherwise, that's a different level of cheeky. I'd give your DF permission to turn any more unwelcome parcels away and just message your friend something like, "My parents have your 6 parcels. They won't be able to accept any more so make sure you don't order anything extra." I wouldn't give explanation. She can decide for herself if they're away or annoyed.

CaramelVanilla · 29/03/2025 15:44

How are you travelling?

If in car, no biggie - flying or other.... depends on the size

applegrumbling · 29/03/2025 15:46

CaramelVanilla · 29/03/2025 15:44

How are you travelling?

If in car, no biggie - flying or other.... depends on the size

And the contents!

Your friend is really taking the piss here.

Butchyrestingface · 29/03/2025 15:47

I'd be more annoyed for yourself - you're the one who's going to humphing all this crap back for her. She's taking the piss.

oviraptor21 · 29/03/2025 15:48

You will need to open all the packages before you even think of taking them through customs.

BakelikeBertha · 29/03/2025 15:48

Wow! She really is a CF, isn't she? Are you driving over, or flying? If flying, I would tell her that you can't fit it all in your luggage, and so will have to leave some of it there until you go next time, as hopefully this would make her realise she's taken the piss out of both you AND your parents. If you're driving, obviously it's a different story.

As far as your parents are concerned, I would tell CF that your Dad is really annoyed that she's taken advantage of their good nature, and she needs to write them a very grovelly letter, thanking them for all the help they've given, and maybe even arrange a gift for you to take over as a thank you to your parents.

I'd then be VERY wary of her in future, as she obviously doesn't have any awareness about boundaries.

Smoothandsmooth · 29/03/2025 15:49

Loopytiles · 29/03/2025 15:31

Would message friend saying she’s taken the piss and that your parents will turn away any more attempted deliveries.

This is perfect 👆🏻

Lostworlds · 29/03/2025 15:50

I would message your friend and tell her to stop ordering parcels to be delivered as she’s not taking advantage of your parents.

I would also double check you know what these parcels are before travelling home with them.

Fatrosrhun · 29/03/2025 15:50

I’d tell her your father is getting really annoyed and thinks it’s rude. Say he’s possibly going to return them to sender.

SuspiciousChipmunk · 29/03/2025 15:51

I’d tell her you don’t have enough room
in your luggage to bring the items back and she can suck up the loss!

Chuchoter · 29/03/2025 15:53

I'd say,

'My parents have let me know that the THREE parcels you said were going to there address have been safely delivered and to thank you for the other three that you gifted them.'

Original poster
HattenO · 29/03/2025 16:00

Thank you to everyone for your replies - they are all really appreciated! I needed a little help because I can be very timid when it comes to asserting boundaries. All replies have been helpful thank you. I definitely need to say something to her now (as in today) before she ordered a 7th! I can't understand it to be honest - I don't know what it all even is but as others have said - And my DP said this morning - I need to open them before taking them through customs. I mean I don't suspect anything dodgy is in then but of course it's still a very bad idea go take unopened parcels not ordered by yourself through customs.

And also we are flying over not driving so yes - all these bloody parcels have to fit in our luggage

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 29/03/2025 16:02

Friend-you’re taking the piss now. I agreed to one-you put it up to 3. Now DP are furious you’re continuing to order more stuff and now it’s 6. I don’t have the room for that. Stop ordering more or DP will refuse to accept them and will return to sender.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 29/03/2025 16:04

Also-you can pay the post as I will be posting them to you. I don’t have the space or weight allowance to bring it all back for you.

Gymmum82 · 29/03/2025 16:06

‘Hi Sarah, please don’t send anything else to my parents, my dad has gotten a bit annoyed with the amount of parcels and I’m not sure how I’ll fit it all in to our luggage as we’re flying home not driving. I might not be able to bring everything back sorry. I’ll fit in what I can’

Planetmonster · 29/03/2025 16:06

OMG ! You are flying - that is next level Cheeky fuckery. See how big they are when you get there but that is proper rude of her.

I would ask her how she expects you to carry them. Make it her problem.
I would also ‘accidentally’ lose one parcel so she didn’t ask me to do shit like that again but I am a class a bitch

Barrenfieldoffucks · 29/03/2025 16:07

If you'd been driving, and your folks had a reasonable sized house this wouldn't have bothered me at all.

However it sounds like neither of those things apply, so how does she expect you to get all these things back on the plane?! Is she going to pay excess luggage?

Marshbird · 29/03/2025 16:08

FidosMum84 · 29/03/2025 15:35

You also need to find out what’s in the parcels before you take them through customs. She could be getting you to courier pretty much anything!
Have you got space to bring them back? If not I’d say that wasn’t what you agreed and she can arrange onward courier from your parents address to hers.

This

you should never agree to bring unopened parcels though customs in any country.
you must open them and check…you need to know if duty needs to be paid as you’ll be liable for that and have to them claim from her

if she refuses to allow you to do this. Say you will send them all back to the sender, and she’ll have to claim refund

why in gods name did you agree? Let alone get your parents involved.

and yep, if I was your parents, I’d be pretty pissed of too…one delivery , maybe, not multiple. She’s a piss taker.

DPotter · 29/03/2025 16:08

As well as telling your CF friend to stop with the deliveries - you should also tell her she will need to pay for excess baggage charge, unless the parcels are very small. Get her to transfer the money before your travel, or you'll never get it back

And make it clear - she should never do this again as she has pushed her luck beyond the pint of breaking.

Schoolchoicesucks · 29/03/2025 16:09

Gymmum82 · 29/03/2025 16:06

‘Hi Sarah, please don’t send anything else to my parents, my dad has gotten a bit annoyed with the amount of parcels and I’m not sure how I’ll fit it all in to our luggage as we’re flying home not driving. I might not be able to bring everything back sorry. I’ll fit in what I can’

This is excellent post.

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