Friend posting things to my parents house

[HattenO]

Hi all. I'm British but we now live in north of France (my DP is french).

I have a friend here who is Canadian but also lives here in France. She is aware we are going over to the UK to visit and stay with my parents over Easter. She asked me a couple of weeks ago if she could order something online from the UK which can only be delivered to a UK address and if she could get it posted to my parents house and I could collect it for her when we are all over at easter. No worries I said, I'll let my parents know and I'm sure that's fine. I gave her the address to use.

She replied later that day to say thank you and she had ordered 3 things which would be delivered separately. Okay that fine I said (although she hadn't told me it was 3 things beforehand). My parents let me know when each of the packages had been delivered - then messaged me to day a 4th had come.Before I got round to messaging my friend about this - she messaged me saying I hope you don't mind but I ordered just one more thing. I said yes I know it's already arrived you have all 4 things at my parents already. Today my dad messaged me to inform me that yesterday a 5th parcel arrived for her and today a 6th parcel. I knew absolutely nothing about it. My dad is pretty unhappy. He feels like his house is being used as a parcel delivery Depot for someone he doesn't even know so now he's narky with me.

How unreasonable am I being to be feeling bloody annoyed with this friend and how would you handle it. Truth be told I'm not very good at asserting myself in situations like this and I don't want to be impolite.

Thanks in advance

If you have to bring them I'd be asking her now what's in them and if there will be anything to pay, and make a decision on what to do.

Don't spoil the first few days at your parents opening the parcels and worrying what the consequences will be.

@GarlicStyle

Or five pieces of jewellery, tech or designer clothes. Not too big but liable for import duty and, potentially, tax.

Yep, agreed, hence my comment/hint up thread about personal allowance (?€430)…an allowance that theory at least you only get for items you have bought for yourself or are planning to give as gifts.

It’s quite possible the friend is trying to do a bit of an end run around duty charges on goods shipped UK>France and in the unlikely event the OP gets rummaged by the Douane and they find high value items the OP will have to face the consequences.

for me i make sure to ask as its good manners

Get parents to return to sender. How do you know not drugs?

That's really taking the piss. I would NOT bring them all back. She can arrange to have them collected from your parents. I would be tempted to only take 1 as that's what you agreed. How dare she take advantage of your luggage space, put you in a difficult position with customs and force so many parcels on you? A true, bona-fide CF!!!

God, I miss the EU!

I can't imagine what is being ordered that can't be delivered direct to France without inconvenience to anyone.
We use Amazon. Fr to buy and ship to family in France.
What about stuff you want to bring back?

Can't believe you agreed to do this. What if the airline lose them? 😉

How big are these packages?
You need to tell her ‘No more. And will have to see if they fit in your luggage, unpackaged, before being sure of bringing them back.”

The CF friend is Canadian.
There's bound to be a canoe

I'm struggling to think of anything too.
The only things I can come up with are
1food stuffs.
2Plant seeds.
3Artisan UK made stuff with small businesses who don't want to deal with export laws.
4 Alcohol/tobacco

1 & 2 are potentially illegal
3 & 4 will have duty on it.

If they are legal to send from uk to france, tell dfriend that you will post them when you are in the UK.
If they are not legal to post, you certainly are nor taking them through an airport!

I hope you’ve spoken to her and have said you will only bring back the 4 - how dare she use your parents like a postbox!! Dont ever allow this again. Your poor parents.

"... She asked me a couple of weeks ago if she could order something online from the UK which can only be delivered to a UK address and if she could get it posted to my parents house and I could collect it for her when we are all over at easter..."

I'd have said "No" straightaway. Why does she need to have stuff dlivered to your parents house rather than to her home in france?

Tell her to jog on

"Friend - unfortunately you need to stop using my parents' address for parcels. There have been too many and it's too much for them to manage, so they won't be able to accept any more. Also, we probably won't have room in the luggage to bring everything back - which parcels do you want to return and we can discuss reimbursement for any return fees? Oh, and just checking you're aware DH and I will have to open anything we bring back due to taking it through customs?"

CF. No time for this sort of crap. She's not a friend, she's a user.

That's what I thought.

Sometimes you just can’t get things in one country you can get in another. I live abroad and it’s the little things that matter. There doesn’t have to be a sinister reason.

Makeup. Clothing brands. Hobby stuff. Specific British things (flags). Sporting stuff specific to the UK (football jersey). Shoes. Perfumes. Etc etc etc. the list doesn’t have to be sinister or I’ll intended.

Yes they are cheeky and that would irritate me. First you need to open them so you know what they are. Tell her in no uncertain terms not to order anything else and if you don’t have room in your luggage they need to sort out a courier or all the stuff will go down the charity shop. Very inconsiderate.

You'd be perfectly within your rights to tell her she's ordering too much, but if you find it uncomfortable you can just say tell her that 7 items is a lot to expect you to fit in luggage and please don't order any more.

You have the perfect out.

Every day a new type of CF!

1. Yes tell her no more! Ask her why she is doing this, as she knows you will have a luggage weight limit.
2. Ask parents to refuse delivery if received after 3 days from you telling her
3. Yes check all parcels to see what you can/should take back. Then weigh etc any remainder and ask her to send you/parent an Evri label to post them on.

Your friend is a CF

3=6 on what planet? Sorry, I don't have room for all the stuff you ordered. Send money to reship to you or they get left behind.

You're taking parcels that you don't know the contents of on a plane???????? WTF. You need to open and see what you're carrying.

Once you’ve opened it all, weigh it in a box and tell her how much postage will be.

Absolutely no way would I be filling my luggage allowance for her shopping. One or two small things, fine but this is massively taking the piss.

Is it clothes or bulkier stuff?