Friend posting things to my parents house

[HattenO]

Hi all. I'm British but we now live in north of France (my DP is french).

I have a friend here who is Canadian but also lives here in France. She is aware we are going over to the UK to visit and stay with my parents over Easter. She asked me a couple of weeks ago if she could order something online from the UK which can only be delivered to a UK address and if she could get it posted to my parents house and I could collect it for her when we are all over at easter. No worries I said, I'll let my parents know and I'm sure that's fine. I gave her the address to use.

She replied later that day to say thank you and she had ordered 3 things which would be delivered separately. Okay that fine I said (although she hadn't told me it was 3 things beforehand). My parents let me know when each of the packages had been delivered - then messaged me to day a 4th had come.Before I got round to messaging my friend about this - she messaged me saying I hope you don't mind but I ordered just one more thing. I said yes I know it's already arrived you have all 4 things at my parents already. Today my dad messaged me to inform me that yesterday a 5th parcel arrived for her and today a 6th parcel. I knew absolutely nothing about it. My dad is pretty unhappy. He feels like his house is being used as a parcel delivery Depot for someone he doesn't even know so now he's narky with me.

How unreasonable am I being to be feeling bloody annoyed with this friend and how would you handle it. Truth be told I'm not very good at asserting myself in situations like this and I don't want to be impolite.

Thanks in advance

you must open them and check…you need to know if duty needs to be paid as you’ll be liable for that and have to them claim from her

Hadn't thought of that - good point

Out of interest how big are the parcels?

Why are you so worried about being impolite when she clearly isn't?

"Hi x, my dad has just had a 6th item delivered. He's pretty annoyed about being a postal service for someone He's never met and can't say i blame him! I agreed to do you a favour by bringing back 3 parcels, and to be honest that's already quite a big ask as its going to take up a lot of my luggage. I definitely can't bring more than that so please can you organise returns for the most recent items and don't order any more."

If she kicks off then don't bring any of her stuff at all. You're doing her a favour its in her interests to keep you sweet.

This is next level cheeky, especially as you're flying. Send her message along the lines of "Hi friend, my parents have all your parcels, and it's a lot more than we were expecting. Please don't order anything else as I'll already be struggling to carry all your stuff and my parents don't have space to store them".

I think you need to message her to say that your parents agreed to take in one parcel, and are not happy that she’s sent so many. I’d also deliberately not be able to fit all of them in my luggage to bring back, and leave her to figure out what to do with the rest. She’s massively taking the piss.

I’d say sorry that she cannot send any more parcels and it’s likely you won’t have space for all the unagreed ones. Tell her she will need to call and collect them on her next visit to the uk!

Does your friend know you're flying not driving?

I would contact her right now and say that you can't bring the things back as they won't all fit in your case.

Are you insane? Do NOT let your parents import goods they’ve not seen.

Really rude and disrespectful.
Shes a CF user.
I would not be making space for her stuff in my luggage.

I would tell her your parents are very pissed off about it and you are not impressed at her presumption.

Tell her to arrange for the them to be collected by DFL or the like.

Tell your father to refuse anything else.

The bare faced cheeky

Three parcels is a lot - 6 is taking the piss,especially when you're flying to have to make space for them

Do you even know what's in them? Be mindful of carrying parcels for someone else, you never know how above board it all is

CF at its finest

Omg this is so cheeky of her! You have given her an inch and she’s taken a mile. She’s using your parents’ house like a post office locker. Tell them to feel at liberty to decline all other parcels! And definitely tell her that one parcel was agreed, not 6+ and the goodwill to do this any more has been lost.

I would do what someone upthread suggested & tell her to arrange a courier to pick them up from your parents house and deliver them to her.

You can say you only agreed to one and won’t have room in your luggage for 6.

I would also say that your Dad is pissed off and not to get anything else delivered there (ever).

Forget about how many things or excess luggage - this is not important compared to being manipulated in to taking unknown items on a plane through customs. You have your liberty to weigh against completing a favour for person who is telling you they aren’t being straight with you already and are prepared to use you. Talk your parents and partner about where to go from here. At the very least declare the all the goods upfront in goods to declare at customs making it clear that they are of unknown origin and being taken as a favour for a friend.

Cheeky cow!
I'd message saying there's no way all of her parcels will fit in your luggage and you are not paying extra for it. This is not what you agreed and parents are really pissed off now.
They have asked that she arranges for a courier to collect the parcels and to let you know the details of collection so you can pass on the info to them.

She's absolutely taking the P.
As others have said tell her "no more your parents are getting annoyed, any more will be returned to sender"

Be very careful she isn't using your parents address for any sort of credit. Often suppliers will only deliver things to the credit cards register address.

Definitely.

I live in France and husband works 3 months a year in UK. We get people trying this shit on all the time. Supermarket lists to save themselves a few euros buying it here, air fryer FFS Aldi sell them here. I just laugh and say it will cost my husband more than a few euros in time and diesel so no. People expecting husband to stay in to accept their UK delivery, seriously I just laugh at them, tbh I don't want cf's as friends. Brought back something for a friend that had import duty to pay, we left it with customs, friend had to pay and arrange collection. They do it because cheaper to buy in UK and use you to do all the work.
Pp said bring the 3 agreed, box up rest and arrange DHL once friend has paid for it. You have made a rod for your own back. I suspect this friend wouldn't do the same favour for you. Nothing kills a friendship quicker than being used. You owe your dad a huge apology and tell friend to send him a good bottle of wine to say thank you.

She's put you in a very difficult situation. What are you going to say when they ask you at the airport if anyone has asked you to carry a package for them?

Hi OP,
Ask your parents to open the packages and see what is in them so you can tell us.
(only half joking)

She's taking the piss and can pay the import fees like the rest of us.

I'd also agree that you need to check what is in these parcels.
And really triple check just incase their is anything dodgy in the lining of the items.

I honestly can't think of anything that could be delivered to the UK that couldn't be delivered to France.
I could imagine it being the other away round, suppliers who won't ship outside the EEC.

Tell her you and your parents generously agreed to take in 3 parcels so now she needs to let you know which 3 of 6 she would like for you to bring back and she will have to stop using your parents address and to sort out the other 3 parcels without any inconvenience to you or your parents.

Brass fucking neck or what.

I'd message back saying, "Hi, I'm sorry but you've ordered too many things. Please do t order anymore parcels, as my dad's not very happy about it! Also I'm not going to be able to bring them all back on the plane! I'll bring 3 with me. Let me know which 3 you want bringing back." Perhaps this will teach her a lesson!

nope. The OP has put herself in that situation!

Do you know what is in these parcels? There can't be that many companies don't deliver to France. I'm guessing she's too mean to pay the extra postage.