Friend posting things to my parents house

[HattenO]

Hi all. I'm British but we now live in north of France (my DP is french).

I have a friend here who is Canadian but also lives here in France. She is aware we are going over to the UK to visit and stay with my parents over Easter. She asked me a couple of weeks ago if she could order something online from the UK which can only be delivered to a UK address and if she could get it posted to my parents house and I could collect it for her when we are all over at easter. No worries I said, I'll let my parents know and I'm sure that's fine. I gave her the address to use.

She replied later that day to say thank you and she had ordered 3 things which would be delivered separately. Okay that fine I said (although she hadn't told me it was 3 things beforehand). My parents let me know when each of the packages had been delivered - then messaged me to day a 4th had come.Before I got round to messaging my friend about this - she messaged me saying I hope you don't mind but I ordered just one more thing. I said yes I know it's already arrived you have all 4 things at my parents already. Today my dad messaged me to inform me that yesterday a 5th parcel arrived for her and today a 6th parcel. I knew absolutely nothing about it. My dad is pretty unhappy. He feels like his house is being used as a parcel delivery Depot for someone he doesn't even know so now he's narky with me.

How unreasonable am I being to be feeling bloody annoyed with this friend and how would you handle it. Truth be told I'm not very good at asserting myself in situations like this and I don't want to be impolite.

Thanks in advance

and leave her parents with the others?

I feel compelled to apologize for her, Sorry @HattenO

Her behaviour is rude.
🇨🇦

What happens at airports when you confirm you are carrying goods for someone? Do you get taken aside and questioned?

She’s massively overstepped and your parents deserve an apology but from the CF not you OP!!

Tell her to pick the three things she wants you take through. That or tell her to foot the bill of posting it onwards to France. She is abusing your good nature.

I had an (ex) friend do this to me. I still have a few of her giant parcels which I will never take on a plane to her house overseas. CF!

I’d find out what they were and open them asI wouldn’t take packages. If nothing suspect she should be fine with that. It may be five lipsticks which isn’t a big deal or five throw rugs which are obviously bigger. Again if the parcels are small my parents wouldn’t mind at all. Even if they were bigger they probably wouldn’t care. I don’t see what all the fuss is about.

You will just have to tell her you don't have the baggage space for anymore of her stuff and that you might have to leave it behind.

Yeah that's really cheeky. She ordered first before checking encase they say no!

Simply say we have your 6 parcels but my family are not happy in accepting any more.

One or two is a nice favour but like your dad said, they're not a parcel depot and it's taking the mick especially when he doesn't know her!! I wouldn't be happy feeling used like this either.

But the parcel woman now wants the OP to use her limited airline baggage allowance to bring the parcels to France for her. And we don’t know what’s in them, It could be six bars of soap,which wouldn’t be any sort of a problem , but perhaps there is a set of weights, or an airfryer, or a set of bed linen including a duvet, or a pair of Doc Martens, or a bird cage, or a small canoe………..

This

Hi Friend

I am really disappointed that more parcels are continuing to be delivered to my parents house. I was happy with the one item you initially requested but you have pushed this favour to the point where my parents and I all feel you are taking advantage. They are not a post depot and receiving and storing deliveries for someone they don't know is an imposition. They are getting pissed off with me now. Furthermore, we are travelling by air and have a limited baggage allowance. I am afraid that if our suitcases are over the allotted weight - your deliveries will have to be the first things to come out.

I don't want to fall out over this, and hesitated contacting you about this as I tend to try and accomodate where possible, but I'm sorry to say that this is now officially a piss take and I feel I have to speak up. Please do not arrange for anything else to be delivered and I will let you know if there is anything we are unable to transport and you will have to make arrangements to have those items collected.

Best HattonO

That's really cheeky!

Does she even know your parents?

Hopefully they can at least put them in the room that you will be staying in so that they are out of their way,

First,she's taking the mick. She's using you and your parents big time.

Second, NEVER ever take anything through customs or border control when you don't know what it is. You must ask her what these parcels contain as you will possibly be stopped by customs.

Thirdly, do you have the space for all this stuff? You may have to pay the airline extra to take it through if it goes beyond your baggage allowance.

one parcel ok - but now you need to bill her the cost for an extra case.

Just matter of factly tell your friend that there are far more parcels than you agreed to and you don't know whether they will fit in your luggage. If they don't, you will return the extra ones to the sender and she will have to sort it out with the supplier. And you hope she realises that you will have to open and examine the contents of each parcel before packing them to comply with airline regulations.

She will make u feel responsible for unpacking them, or make u pay xtra at airport for if something not as it should be. Put on your big girl pants and say you are bringing 3 only. Say it sweetly with a smile.....the more help and accommodation you give her the more she will return for favours or help to you. She may well give you backlash/ moan/ cry or sob story but expect that.

You obviously don't say that's what you're doing unless you're very stupid!

Can you take all but three of them to the post office and have them posted to her address in France? Demand she pays you in advance for the postage charges and tell her your plane luggage allowance is needed for all the things you will be bringing back for yourselves, and you had only agreed to bring three things back for her.

When people came to visit me when I lived abroad they sometimes had to post their purchases to their home countries.

Of course she might end up having to pay customs charges on her goods, but she should have thought of that before adding all the extra parcels without checking if it was OK.

If she doesn't agree to give you the money for postage tell her she has a month to collect them in person from your parent's house, otherwise they'll go to the charity shop.

Tell her you need her to check you in extra luggage? That’s really cheeky if you’re flying!

Well if you can't fit them all in, what does she expect you to do?

Return them?

Your parents hold them imdefinitely?

You need to be firm and tell her you weren’t expecting so many parcels, you might not have space for all of them and that your parents are getting annoyed

Charge her for extra luggage. Or post them to her in France.

“I was only carrying something for a friend”….is a standard feature of pretty much every story about somebody banged up in the nick having been caught with something they shouldn’t have been carrying trying to leave places like Bangkok or Singapore….

It’s like the 12 days of Christmas.
Good luck with getting 8 maids a milking through customs but perhaps you can use the 5 gold rings to pay for the extra luggage. 😂