DH refusing to financially help sister after she went on holiday.

[Sallymeblue]

I need to keep this as vague as possible. We are financially supporting me sister and have been doing so for several years. This year for the first time, in a very long time, her family are going on holiday and this has enraged DH. He is seething that we are supporting whilst they are going to holiday, he doesn't think they should expect help and go on holiday.

He is taking his anger out on me because I don't work due, and be feels I dont contribute to the household and he support me and my sister

Do you think he’s being unreasonable? If so, why?

Unless the holiday was a gift to them then he has a point.

It is taking the absolute piss to let others pay your bills then take yourself on holiday and expect your bills to continue to be paid for you.

You're going to have to be less vague if you want anyone to understand your/your sisters side of things. At the moment it sounds like you're both taking him for a ride.

Why doesn't she support herself?

You've missed out a lot of key information OP.

Yabu. I can see why he feels resentment.

Why are you and your husband having to financially support your sister?

And why is the whole financial burden on him?

Sounds like the whole situation needs reviewing and he needs to stop taking the financial burden for everyone

Why does he need to support her all this time?

Also why are you not working?

Without an exonerating backstory then YABU. Why is your family financially supporting her long term? Helping out in a crisis is one thing, but just ongoing support with no end plan to the point they feel like it is their income to do what they want with isn't reasonable to ask him to provide imo

If you want your sister supported you need to get a job and give her the money you earn. Not his. I can see his point!

So get a job and help out.
JFC you must have a cracking personality to be worth putting up with this BS.

I can understand why he feels angry, don't you?

At the moment I am with him unless you can give more info. Why is he supporting your sister for years? Why are you not working? Why should he be healy to be sypoorting 2 families?

So your husband is working to support two households, and then is pissed off that your sister is spending money on luxuries while still taking his cash.

Unless there's some massive backstory missing, I'm with your husband entirely. If your sister has spare cash, then her first priority should be reducing the amount that she's taking from others.

I can absolutely see his side, he's getting the piss taken out of him by both of you imo.

Why is your dh supporting your sister??

I'd understand more if you both had high earning jobs and you could afford it but this isn't the case.

Your dh has a right to feel annoyed by this.

Sounds like they are ready to be financially independent!! Perfect time to stop.

Too vague. Why don't you work? Why do you support your sister? Where is the holiday?

Team husband. He's having to support everyone while she, to whom he hasn't committed but is still expected to support, sods off on holiday.

He needs to escape the lot of you.

More info OP.

If someone else is funding your life and bill then no you cannot afford a holiday.

Not surprised his mad. Paying for cf freeloaders.

noone can comment with so little info. why aren't you working (and yet expect your DH to support your sister). Why doesn't she support herself? maybe you are just a bunch of work shy freeloaders but maybe the narrative it's very different. What's the back story (did he possibly impregnate her and she is bringing up his child - that's the only think I could come up with in the absence of any facts offered by you). If you want opinions, you really need to give us a bit more...

Marry one get one for free.

id be pissed off too in his position.

Sounds like he feels like a bit of a mug.

Why don’t you and your sister work?

Yabu. She is a massively CF too. Why should he support her?

Does she also have a family who he is supporting too? Is this the emotional blackmail - there are kids who need supported?

‘We’ are financially supporting my sister. By the sounds of it it’s just your DH who is doing this. Poor guy.

Yeah. I was kind of with you to start with, and you said "we" support my sister.

There is no "we" actually, it's just "he" and as others have said, unless there is a very important piece of information you are withholding, he is not being unreasonable.

OP, I hope you are both able to make decent pension provision and have decent savings for your own needs, otherwise this situation is going to implode at some point. If your DH walked away from your relationship, could you support yourself let alone your sister? It seems bizarre.