DH refusing to financially help sister after she went on holiday.

[Sallymeblue]

I need to keep this as vague as possible. We are financially supporting me sister and have been doing so for several years. This year for the first time, in a very long time, her family are going on holiday and this has enraged DH. He is seething that we are supporting whilst they are going to holiday, he doesn't think they should expect help and go on holiday.

He is taking his anger out on me because I don't work due, and be feels I dont contribute to the household and he support me and my sister

I would be seething too..........going on holiday at the expense of someone else when you have bills to pay is simply taking the piss.

It is taking the piss. Why can't your sister support herself. I'd stop paying for her.

He’s supporting both you and your sister and you can’t understand that he might be unhappy?

Supporting his wife is one thing (young dc, disabled etc) but YOUR sister?

Is it cultural?
Does her Dh work?

Even so, why support the married sister?

Honestly I don’t blame him for being annoyed. How did they pay for the holiday, if they seemingly can’t survive without your DH’s financial help?

How on earth can anyone know if your husband is being unreasonable without knowing WHY you are supporting your sister?

I’d be fuming too.

What i can make out is that YOU dont work YOUR sister dont work only but him dose all the bread winning and bills and has to support both your lazy backsides.
If it was me id want a bloody divorce and run as fast as i could to the hills away from you and your family.
Gold diggers spring to mind big time.

I’d be enraged too, if I were him. Holidays are not a right and it doesn’t matter whether it’s abroad, or in this country, if she’s using the money he’s handing over to support her day to day needs and she’s spending it on something else, it’s wrong. I think he should stop funding your family.

Why aren’t you working and what sort of holiday us it? And is there a good reason why your sister cant support herself, eg illness?

Maybes she’s channelling Katie Price

I can absolutely see where he’s coming from. Do you feel duty bound to subsidise your sisters lifestyle at your expense
Tell her the gravy train has terminated.( The second time I’ve used this phrase today)

Without knowing the circumstances as to why your husband is supporting your sisters finances its not hard to understand why he is pissed off.

Your sister is being a CF, if she can afford to go on holiday with what your husband is paying her then I'd suggest she needs to be financially independent then.

You are being hugely unreasonable here.

Doubt OP will be back

My Sister rents a property from us at slightly below market rate.
Its a good deal for both of us, as she gets a place And we our rent paid on time.
She does work but everything is so expensive.

Is your sister a carer for a disabled child therefore can't work, if so is she claiming the benefits she needs.

It's just a mini break for a week and it's the first holiday her family have had for ages. It's was about £1.5k - hardly splashing the cash.

What? So she's getting reduced rent, support from your DH, and you're scratching your head over why he's annoyed? 🤣

That is very different to the impression you gave in your first post

So your DH supports you/ your family (reasonable, if you both as a family agreed that) and your DSis and her family (unreasonable) - Why??? How much does he earn to support all these people?
Yes, I agree with him. She, or someone in her nuclear family, needs to earn enough support themselves.

If everything is so expensive, why do you expect your DH to subsidise your DS?

Well not that expensive if she can afford a holiday…

While I don’t think someone being poor (I’m poor lol) means they need to live in absolute misery, if you’re in a situation where you’re dependent on charity from your BIL to sustain yourself then no, holidays are not a necessity.

You left out a lot of context though.

Is this the only way in which you financially support her or are there others?

When you say he’s taking his anger out on you, what does that entail? What’s he doing?

No, she works but it's not well paid.