To be daunted at being a single mum again.?

[MediterraneanHouse]

Just found out I’m pregnant yesterday. I’m 29 with a 7 year old. My mum said she’ll help out as much as possible which I’m really grateful for.

The baby is due late September/October.. I’d got down to a Size 8 at Xmas and now I found out I’m pregnant!

I was 22 when I had my daughter and although I had my mum’s support it’s really hard being a single mum. AIBU to feel daunted 2nd time around?

That's great you're on friendly terms!
Be grateful for this blessing - I want another baby so much but am an old ish single mum and single so I can't see one appearing any time soon! Lucky you having a little bundle of joy arriving soon and lucky you that the dad sounds decent xx

@TheSnootiestFox you do sound snooty! Being divorced doesn't make you a 'better' single mum that one whose baby was conceived as a surprise and will be very loved and wanted .

Op ignore this snobbery. You'll be great you know what you're doing! X

OP congratulations! I assume both fathers will contribute to their children's upbringing's and expenses? I really do hope you are not another one assuming the state will keep you pay you for your offspring and lifestyle? oh and I hope you have a job as well as that is doable with children, loads, I mean loads of us do and you know what? we manage! yep, we manage 😊

@TheSnootiestFox also your children having the same father is more convenient for you but doesn't make you or your children better than children who have half siblings and blended families

Why do you assume she's on benefits? I'm not

Grim???

Perhaps try being a little less judgmental.

In whose eyes? How can having lots of men in the lives of all your children, or some of your children having a relationship with their dad and others not, be better for the kids? It's not a case of the children being better, it's a case of the circumstances surrounding the children being better and that's what important. I can't actually believe that I'm having to explain that to grown ups 🙄

Nah, it's grim.

I actually agree with you but you are brave for saying this lol

@TheSnootiestFox I also think its grim. But there is a difference between being a single mum first time round and choosing to be in a stable relationship after and having kids. Instead of choosing unstable relationships and having 2 kids with 2 different dads with doing the same thing with a possible 3rd child.
Just ignore the haters. They dont have the intellectual ability to understand.

Well said.
OP didn’t “fall pregnant.” She made conscious choices to be careless. Producing offspring carelessly and thoughtlessly outside of a stable relationship is not admirable.

I don’t think it’s silly. I am a fitness fanatic and I was concerned about my body being unrecognisable during and after pregnancy. I think it’s totally normal. Not everyone wants to ‘eat for two’.

What year is it sorry?

Here it is - single mums telling you that your comments are bigoted and standing up for themselves lack 'intellectual ability'

Being married doesn't make you more intelligent than a single mum 😄

There really isn't a difference tbh

I've seen plenty of women 'fix their mistakes by marrying and creating a family after having the first one out of wedlock

Still ends up badly, with the child who isn't fully related being blamed

All family types are valid - some families have two mums, two dads, one mum, one dad, one of each or more

Kids need a strong, caring and loving resident parent to thrive, and that parent should have a support system. It doesn't have to be a man 🙄

More normal is being concerned about delivering a healthy child and understanding that your body will inevitably change and that it's OK if it does. Nowhere do I mention eating more? I certainly didn't eat for two.

I personally was far more concerned with the health of my children than the way I looked, but again each to their own!

This whole thread has been an eye opener for me. Women thinking that it's OK to have children by mistake with a series of casual partners and that the way you look is of vital importance to being a parent. Utterly baffling to me I'm afraid!

This is a fair comment. The only difference the year makes is that the State quite rightly supports single parents now. It's still not a great choice to make though. Anyway it's probably a made up thread as the time line seems crazy

Oh Good Morning, you're back for round 2 then? 😂 no bigotry here, just common bloody sense.

Nobody has mentioned getting married to fix a mistake and I'm sorry that's what you've seen. That again is just silly. I personally wouldn't involve another man in the life of my children so fully. I've been divorced for a year and separated for 7 now. My children are 15 and 17. I do have a partner, we've been together a while now. He has a 17 year old son and is also divorced.

We've both said that we won't even live together until all the kids are adults, much less remarry yet. I'm fortunate that my younger son and my partner especially get on (they have hobbies and interests in common) so that makes life easier and probably means we'll look at selling both properties next year when ds finishes Year 11 and buying something between us that's still big enough for all the boys in case they need to return home after uni or whatever. It means my younger ds will probably end up living with us as a couple from about age 16. While I'm confident that it will work as they adore each other, that still seems young to me, never mind moving a new partner in with an existing primary age child and having more babies. Completely agree that mums need support, completely disagree that, especially if boys are involved, a strong male role model isn't needed.

Again, horses for courses and I don't think that @Neetra30 was meaning that being married made someone more intelligent, just some of the responses here show a lack of basic intellect. All froth and outrage that I dare question an unplanned pregnancy to a random and no basic common sense.

Anyway things to do, I spent enough time here last night. Have a fabulous day everyone!

It doesn't make any bloody difference in reality though.

How can you guarantee the 2 Nd relationship will be stable though.

YOU UTTER HARLOT.

I'm going to have to lie down and take in what you just told me, once the smelling salts have kicked in.

How so?

I'm glad you think it's a joking matter. I genuinely do not understand this attitude at all......

I was concerned about both. And that’s ok. Because I didn’t cease to exist as a person when I became a mother.

This thread is so depressing to read. Women sure do hate women on here, huh?

Being exasperated with people who procreate carelessly isn’t “hating women.”