To be daunted at being a single mum again.?

[MediterraneanHouse]

Just found out I’m pregnant yesterday. I’m 29 with a 7 year old. My mum said she’ll help out as much as possible which I’m really grateful for.

The baby is due late September/October.. I’d got down to a Size 8 at Xmas and now I found out I’m pregnant!

I was 22 when I had my daughter and although I had my mum’s support it’s really hard being a single mum. AIBU to feel daunted 2nd time around?

I thought that

why tell your daughter so early on

You have a big old chip on your shoulder about being a single mother don’t you?!

Does it make you feel better to put down other single mothers???

It doesn’t make you a better person for being married when your baby was born.

I understand that but OP is choosing to be a single parent again despite knowing how difficult it is.
Her attitude seems quite casual and carefree as well which is a bit um...

She is pregnant by a man!!! She didn’t do it alone! Respect to her for stepping up and having the baby.

Stepping up and having a baby? Should I give her an applause for getting pregnant again in an unstable relationship?
Shes coming off as immature from her posts-can you not see this?

She has a 7 year old so I’m sure she is mature enough to look after her second baby.

We dont know that. Immature adults also have kids too. Stop making assumptions

And you! Lots of accidental pregnancies happen all the time.
It’s the woman’s choice what to do and she’s chosen.

This. A thousand times this.

In an ideal world of course a pregnancy should be planned but it doesn’t work like that in the real world does it.

Also marriage ‘should’ be for life too…but mine (and yours) were not!

@TheSnootiestFox

Don't worry hun you'll soon get back to being a size 8 again!

I'm confused about this as well, although she does say she is due end of September ish so is maybe further on than a first missed period if that makes sense

No, I disagree about marriage being for life. I mean, it's great if you're happy for life but people change so much as they age and want different things. I know I'm a completely different person in my 50s than I was in my 20s when I met my ex.

To me, marriage is more about being committed to a person for a length of time, and in theory therefore providing a more stable environment for a child to be born into. But it shouldn't be a life sentence in this day and age. Doesn't mean that pregnancy and family size shouldn't be planned though and I, and this is my opinion which I understand may not be shared, think that different fathers for siblings isn't ideal for a whole range of reasons. I would have loved another baby when I divorced but introducing a sibling with a completely different dad to my two existing children just didn't seem right.

I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mom op, don't listen to the nasty comments!

I'm surprised at the poster saying they're better bc they're divorced with kids as opposed to just a regular breakup.

Wishing you're family the best, op.

Wow. A single mum stigmatising another single mum.

I’m surprised such a responsible adult would enter a marriage that led to divorce.

You chose to have children with a man you are no longer with.

What gives you the right to judge and bully another single mother for her choices?!

If you genuinely can't see the difference between the situation of me and women like me, and the OP then I'm not wasting any more time trying to explain.

And if that was aimed at me, I'm not bullying anyone, I've never even met the OP let alone subjected her to a prolonged campaign of poor treatment, I've just expressed my perfectly valid opinion online.

Lots on here that need to grow up!

As far as I can tell you are a single mother who makes herself feel better about being a single mother by putting other single mothers down.

I have children with more than one ex. Pass the smelling salts.

Because she was with her husband when she fell pregnant. The op wasn't. She was on seemingly very friendly terms with an ex. They are totally different circumstances as much as that it difficult for people to understand or accept.

She never said she wasn't in a relationship at the time, maybe they broke up after. Anyway, it doesn't matter now.

I don’t get this. If I found it really hard the first time round I would not be doing it again.

She never said she wasn’t in a relationship with her ex at the time of conception. Is that all it comes down to that the OP isn’t married so should be judged for being a single parent but it’s ok if you were married and are now a single parent??? Horseshit.

Why do I need to make myself feel better? I'm perfectly happy thank you. Stop focusing on me, read what the OP has written and then proffer your opinion to them. It's obviously completely different to mine and that's OK. We all have different standards and it's horses for courses, I would never have contemplated having children outside of a marriage, the fact that the marriage has ended is unfortunate but actually I'm having a completely different life now that's far happier, wealthier and much more fun!

I personally don't think conceiving children through casual sex and then being more concerned about jean size is great, and I think having multiple fathers for your children is grim. I've expressed that opinion, as invited on a public forum. What you think you can tell is irrelevant to me frankly!