DSis threatening to destroy my family with secret recording what do I do?

[InsufficantLizard]

NC for this because it’s beyond messy, and I feel sick even typing it.

Long story short, DSis and I have always had a strained relationship, but we were civil for the sake of DM. Well, that’s out the window now. She’s been holding onto a secret recording of me saying something (out of context, obviously) that could genuinely ruin my marriage and family life if it got out. She’s now threatening to send it to DH and possibly others unless I do what she wants (not going into details, but it’s completely unreasonable).

I feel like I’m in a nightmare. DH would be absolutely gutted if he heard it, even though I swear it’s not what it sounds like. I don’t know whether to try and reason with her (unlikely to work), preemptively tell DH (but risk blowing everything up myself), or just wait and see if she actually does it.

For context, DSis has always been a bit of a drama queen, but this is next level. I just don’t understand how my own sister could be so cruel.

What would you do? Anyone been in a similar situation? Handhold needed, please. I feel sick. 😞

I'd tell Dh she's picking out bits of a recording to change how it sounds, and then tell her you are going to the police about her threatening to release it to family to ruin you if you don't do what she wants.
I hope she has text you about telling Dh and the family. She reaps what she sows.

Where is the Op????
Hmmmm

Is your DH a good man? Does he love you? Do you love him? He deserves to hear this, whatever it is, from you. It was said, no matter what the context, so it's out there. All you can do is tell your DH the full story.

"DH, a few months/years ago, I was talking to DSis about X, and I said something which she recorded. She is threatening to use the recording against me unless I do <whatever it is>. I need to tell you what the recording says. I'm sorry that I said it, but I was venting/angry/whatever and I didn't think about the way it would sound when it was taken out of context."

Does your DH know that your sibling can be a nasty or has he no idea.

If it were me in your position my DH would know that it would be basically my sibling just wanting to cause trouble as he knows just what she's like, and knows she thrives on trying to make others lives as miserable as she's made hers.
Therefore he's highly unlikely to believe her.

Edited to add...
If you tell you're DH it'll take away any future hold she feels she has over you.

Even better if you and DH stay united. It really is the only way to stand up to someone like her.

Tell your husband. Accept the consequences and then cut your sister out of your life for good.

There is absolutely zero benefit in the OP lying to their DH, that would be the wrong thing to do. And to say it was generated by AI is nuts.

Explaining the context behind the recording and highlighting the DSis' appalling behaviour basically relishing the chance to shit stir, is likely to achieve a much better outcome.

The relationship with her is dead now, so explain it all to your DH and never speak to her again.

I'd also tell your DM and anyone else expecting you to have a civil relationship with her exactly why you don't any more.

Your only option is to get ahead of it. But honestly you sound guilty.

She might be dealing with the situation. Or working. Or busy doing something else.

Tell him, tell him, tell him. Tell everyone. Tell everyone what she's doing and then never, ever speak to her again.

I would send her a text message (or email, just something that leaves a trail) stating that it's disgusting she is blackmailing you, she knows very well that the context of the recording is x,y,z and your DH would be disgusted with her blackmailing her own sister with this twisted “evidence."
Then if she does something you have time stamped evidence of the truth.

Get evidence that she’s blackmailing you. I’d say what she’s asking from you would determine how serious this is and whether the police should be involved.

But get evidence - because it won’t look good on her, at least.

I’d tell DH that she’s blackmailing you and explain and give context; maybe even that she tricked you into saying it that’s why she recorded it. I’d also report it to the police. Once I’d done both I’d tell her you’d told DH so she is welcome to continue to blackmail and that you’ve reported it.

hard for us when you didn’t say either what you said and why and what she’s planning

@InsufficantLizard speak to your DH you can't live like this!

I'd prob threaten her back with something.

If you just ignore her in the hope that she won’t do anything you will always have this recording hanging over your head. I think you should get advice from the police as others have said or tell your dh.

You need to be frank with your husband and explain before he hears it out of context. Surely he would believe you over your sister?

Do you have her blackmailing you in writing/text? If so I’d be temped to tell her you’ll go to the police

Well I'm afraid I'm an evil bitch if my family is threatened so I'd try to find something on her and counter terrorise her. Completely scare the shit out of her if need be.
The sensible option would be to go to the Police though.

I’m an evil bastard now as well. I’d be bringing her down in ways she wouldn’t forget or more to the point, easily recover from.

This

Whether it’s bad or not, your sister is a blackmailer, and that’s hideous.

The fact that she feels able to do this suggests to me that you have been too submissive with her OP.
I'd say 'go on then, make my day. Fuck about and find out what happens'.

I'd take the power away and tell him, with the right context

I agree if you have evidence of her threats go to the police and report blackmail....it's a criminal offence the police will take seriously.