DSis threatening to destroy my family with secret recording what do I do?

[InsufficantLizard]

NC for this because it’s beyond messy, and I feel sick even typing it.

Long story short, DSis and I have always had a strained relationship, but we were civil for the sake of DM. Well, that’s out the window now. She’s been holding onto a secret recording of me saying something (out of context, obviously) that could genuinely ruin my marriage and family life if it got out. She’s now threatening to send it to DH and possibly others unless I do what she wants (not going into details, but it’s completely unreasonable).

I feel like I’m in a nightmare. DH would be absolutely gutted if he heard it, even though I swear it’s not what it sounds like. I don’t know whether to try and reason with her (unlikely to work), preemptively tell DH (but risk blowing everything up myself), or just wait and see if she actually does it.

For context, DSis has always been a bit of a drama queen, but this is next level. I just don’t understand how my own sister could be so cruel.

What would you do? Anyone been in a similar situation? Handhold needed, please. I feel sick. 😞

Speak to DH now. Tell him about the recording, what it says and give him the full context. Apologise if it’s upsetting to him, even in context.
Then tell him that your sister has been trying to blackmail you with the recording, tell your DM and anyone else that will listen that your sister blackmailed you and threatened to blow up your marriage.
Then, go NC.

Do you have evidence of her blackmail attempts?

Take the power back. Explain the situation to your DH and anyone else you think needs to know, along with the evidence you have. You know that what was recorded has been taken out of context, so explain that she is blackmailing you, explain the context, apologise for any distress caused, and share the evidence you have about the truth of the situation.

Depending upon where you are and what your sister has been doing and saying, you might also want to report her to the police.

I would do this then cut all contact with sister.

Invite her round to tell your dh this secret she holds over you, silly cow doesn't she know blackmail is an offense. Is it really so bad you couldn't tell your dh who needs to be on your side.,block her, how does she plan to tell him, what does she want in return. What a nasty bitch.

Tell your DH, explain the context in full and let him be upset if he's going to be.
Surely he'd stick with you over your DSis, unless what you said was truly damning?

I definitely wouldn't try to reason with her or confront her, or just wait and see.

If you want proper advice you would be far better saying what it is.

However I would come clean on the lot to DH. I'd tell him the secret, the context and the truth about why you're divulging. I would put all my energy into that relationship.

That will take all of her power away. I would never ever have anything to do with the stupid bitch ever again.

Put it in context then.

If you have evidence, tell your sister blackmail is a criminal offense and you are reporting her to the police. Then do it, and tell your DH what happened.

Then cut your sister out of your life. Did she think she was going to shake money out of you?

The things is your DH will find out sooner or later, and it's better if he hears from you

Agree with calling the Police.

If she is asking for money, that is a crime.

I'm sure a visit from them might help put her in her box.

OPs sister?

If she doesn't use it this time, she will hold onto it for next time. Then even more time will have passed and it will be more difficult for you to speak to your DH, and he will be more suspicious of what's gone on. You have no real choice here.

Make sure you have evidence of the blackmail to show your DH and your DM, the police too if necessary. And cut your sister dead from now on.

If your husband believes your sister over you, then you don't have much of a marriage anyway.

Take the power away from her, grit your teeth and tell your dh. It’ll be so much worse if/when it comes out and if you let her blackmail you, she’ll continue to do so.

If she is blackmailing you and you have all the texts etc I would go to the police - this is blackmail!! Either way this is going to damage the family - but at least your DH will know you are serious and that you have told the police the truth! You need to get the power back and tell him though.

Think you need to share what it is and the likely reaction of DH.

I'd also be tempted to say she made an AI fake recording 🤔

Absolute rubbish, blackmailers are not honourable, it won't stop at once.
Your sister is a disgusting immoral cow. Please don't give into her demands you will hate yourself for it.
I would also get legal advice as what she is doing is illegal.

That's disgusting and so is she.
I will never ever allow myself to be blackmailed under any circumstances.
I'd come clean with your DH and explain the actual circumstances and then go NC with your sister.

Op, this sounds like a horrendous situation and the only way you can deal with it is by telling your husband what’s going on and going to the police. Start by explaining tk your husband you need to go to the police because your being emotionally bleackmailed ……then take it all from there

I found myself in a situation a few years back whereby my sister threatened to report me for something I had not done. She essentially wanted me homeless.

My solicitor advised me to take it to the police and have her charged in relation to something like the malicious communications act. I forget the exact details.

A charge would have lost her her career so I didn’t but I did go fully NC and told all the family why. That was years ago now and to this day she denies sending the email telling people I made it up!

My parents know the truth but expect me to forgive her despite the fact she will never apologise as she didn’t do anything!

Apparently she’s furious I got a solicitor involved! (There were other factors involved and I did need legal advice),

@Workhardcryharder is right, @InsufficantLizard. If your sister tells your dh, she will make you sound as bad as possible, whereas you can tell him in a far more balanced way. However bad it would be if you tell him, it will be way worse if she tells him.

Meet up with her to say you want to discuss her demands. Grab her phone and say you will smash it to pieces unless she deletes the recording there and then.

I assume it's like 'of course I wound't have married DH but.....' but your convo wa s about how life would have been if you had been born a princess or something.

You got to front it out with bullies. You rDH will feel how sick you feel and it's better she has nothing on you.

GOOD LUCK RIP OFF THE PLASTER

Oh yes also good idea - tell him it’s an AI recording.

He likely knows your sister is mad already and won’t be surprised.