Binned off by my girlfriend for a parcel, AIBU?

[Quarterofacenturyold]

I'm a woman, same sex relationship of around 6 months if its relevant, probably not but mentioning for context. We've been taking it slowly but are exclusive, have met one another's parents etc.

Yesterday we were making plans to take a drive down to the coast today to make the most of the nice weather. Ice creams, doughnuts and whatever else. I'm on annual leave this week and she doesn't work on Thursdays *

An hour or so after we finalised our plans she text me a screenshot of a parcel that is due to be delivered today. For context, the parcel is a pair of shoes she needs for an event this coming Monday. Admittedly it's an important day for her.

I suggested she ask her neighbour if they'd mind taking in the parcel or failing that, I said if it's royal mail she would be able to go and collect it from the depot.

She doesn't cancel our plans which is what I assumed she would have done there and then if she'd decided not to come.

Fast forward to this morning (one hour before we are due to leave) I text and asked what time she'd be ready for me to collect her, only then does she tell me she isn't coming.

She said she can't do anything today except to wait indoors for the parcel and that I should go ahead regardless and enjoy my day.

I'm upset. In particular about her waiting until the last minute to tell me, but am I being unreasonable? What would you have done if you were her?

Similar has happened before.

I'm yet to respond.

She sounds quite self absorbed, sorry OP. She probably doesn't realise how she's treating you, but I bet she'd hate it if the roles were reversed.

I relate completely.

I won't even go into what happened at Christmas, I'll have my arse handed to me 🤣

I hope someday you meet somebody deserving of your generosity. They are out there, I've known a few. Shame I didn't fancy them!

This with bells on.

I don't think she does realise how badly she has treat me to be honest, because she only sees things as far as they affect her.

She's probably going to think "where the hell has all of this come from" when I tell her how I feel.

It has been building for months.

I have found when I’ve been in relationships with people as rigid as this and uncaring, they chip away at your very soul until you are just living life conforming to their needs and you end up a shadow of yourself. I’d be off

same here, parcels are delivered to safe place or neighbours unless it specified it needs signature. Then it will go to depot for collection

Sorry your day was ruined OP. Even if your partner hasn’t realised how she’s been treating you, it’s no excuse and it’s just as bad as that behaviours engrained in her. Long term she might not be the one for you - seems mad to give a lovely day by the beach for some shoes that could have been dropped to a neighbour or rearranged

How can you assume this? Expect other party to be a mind reader???

Maybe I'll find the right person eventually, I'm bi so there are more choices I spose, although I really really don't want a man under me feet again 😬

She text me and asked how my day has been, immediately followed with another text venting about the shoes not fitting her and how she's screwed, then another one straight after that to say her neighbour has just passed away today.

I think I'll hold off getting this off my chest until tomorrow as I'm going to look like an insensitive twat "that's sad darling, by the way the way you are makes me feel like shit"

I couldn’t be with someone who is THAT rude and self-absorbed.

Bonkers isn't it!

Both her attempts to reach out to me today includes venting about the parcel and the shoes.

Not one jot of an apology for the miscommunication or misunderstanding.

Then the news of her neighbour dying - which I'm not disputing but there has been a good few times where she has been a bit a bit shit so we haven't spoken for a day or two and then she puts something on her stories about it being the anniversary of somebodies death or its somebodies birthday who has passed away.

I'll be honest I do wonder to myself is it to make me feel bad / have me drop and move on from whatever it is I'm upset about.

Does that sound ridiculous?

Just being devils advocate, but is she not maybe sensing that you’ve pulled away today and now to reel you back in and divert focus she’s like “oh my neighbour died” therefore pre-empting the shitstorm you were about to drop.

Maybe it’s true, or maybe it’s just another way she’s keeping you chasing her. From what you’ve said it sounds like no matter what you’re going through, you’re meant to be her rock, you can’t have a drama, she will always have a bigger need.

I think we crossed posts because we're thinking along the same lines.

I read her message in the notification bar without opening it, I'm usually quick at reading and responding but haven't yet, and now she's put up a WhatsApp story of these emoji's " 💐 🕊 " to indicate that somebody has died.

Why would you need to do that about a neighbour?

It feels a bit weaponised, because like you say she's noticed me pulling back.

She’s being a dick.

How old is she?

She's not going to change, and it's not your job to fix her. It's probably not worth explaining things, she'll misunderstand, twist it and become the victim.

She doesn't seem to have any respect for you, it's like hearing about a teenager with Main Character Syndrome.

To be honest if I wanted to stay in for a parcel my OH would say ‘ I’ll come keep you company’. As long as we spend the time together it really doesn’t matter what we do

But then she won’t have time to change them if they don’t fit

You don’t seem to like your GF very much ?

Biologically 31, emotionally... half of that 😂

Of course I do.

I'm just upset and reflecting on the fact I've been treat poorly.

It's not just about today, there is a pattern.

Maybe she's just fed up. After having read the thread, I absolutely would be. Isn't it supposed to be fun six months in?

My post man usually comes around the same time each day and when they need a van instead they usually come around the same time each. They also give a text or email with a 2 hour window

I think the best way will be to dump on the grounds that you're very different people.

I couldn't date someone who thought it was appropriate or necessary to put that on their WhatsApp story, or whose shoe choice is apparently Extremely Important but also a) ordered last minute with no alternative b) didn't think to order in multiple sizes and return the rest.

I think that you @Quarterofacenturyold should be with someone who is much more eager to spend time with you.

You sound fab. Find someone like you, who likes you!

You want the same/similar enthusiasm as you have. Your current partner is too self absorbed. No one else is given any consideration.

There's someone with whom you will be better suited. A relationship should bring joy, energy and most of all peace. (IMHO)

Just dump her. Perhaps wait til she’s done her important thing on Monday and then say you aren’t compatible. She will only get worse.