My 7 year old DD went missing

[NimbleBee]

Hello all (long post) bear with me.
Yesterday morning I was on a first aid course for work.
DD is 7 so was left in the care of my 14yrs old DD.
7yrs old alcoholic father come round the house not drunk at this time, so has offered to take 7yr old Dd to the park with a friend same age.
They went at approx 11am no food no drinks no appropriate clothing e.g no coat, no mobile phone.
I get back late evening no word from ex of my Dd whereabouts.
Gets to 20.00hrs. Dd friends parents call the police. Police come out take descriptions of the girls and my ex.
Police did a search through the late night and into early hours. No signs of them.
5am my cousin located all 3 a mile from my house. Ex has been drinking alcohol through the day yesterday and in the night.
The girls have been in his care he's been drunk all this time.
Dd and 7yrs old friend cold, tired, hungry, thirsty, shock up.
My Dd witnessed my ex (her Dad) get beat up by her friends Dad & uncle.
Ex has got broken ribs, broken collar bone, bruising, facial swelling, bust lip etc... he looks in a bad way.
Do I send Dd round to see her Dad as he's asking to see her?
DD currently in school to get back to normality.
Dd did say they had no food, no drink, walked for miles around residential areas, near rivers, over motorway bridges.

Do I send Dd round to see her Dad as he's asking to see her?

Fuck no.

Of course not. That man would go nowhere near my child again.

you didn't send the younger dd to school after she was found at 5am did you?

of course you don't send her to her dad's - are the police not pressing charges?

Oh for goodness sake, what do you think?

In a word, No.
why on earth would you subject your daughter to being in his”care” ever again??

This can’t be real?
-He effectively kidnapped your DD & her friend yesterday for 19 hours. Didn’t feed them or take them anywhere to sleep for the night.
-Despite having been up all night you send your DD to school on a few hours (max) sleep
-You are now considering letting DD go and see this alcoholic again? Presumably she’s not even been home given she will be at school.

No idea what you are on about but no clearly not safe.

Madness.

Are you really this stupid??

How did he also get access to the friend?

Of course you stop contact. He cannot see her again unsupervised. Get the ball rolling with a contact centre to arrange for supervised visits.

Surely keep her off school as she must be exhausted and shaken up.

no keep her away from her father until he can prove he’s undergoing treatment (and sober for at least three months) for his addiction

So not only did he not bother bringing your daughter back, he didn’t take the friend back either?

no he should not see her.

You have to ask? Of course not! He can ask all he likes but he lost his right to see his child after putting them through that ordeal! He clearly needs help but that is not your responsability.

It got to 8pm before someone called the police??? 8pm??

1. how the hell can you even consider saying yes
2. why the hell have you sent her to school

your poor DD

Do I send Dd round to see her Dad as he's asking to see her?
What the fuck is wrong with you?

What??
I don't have an issue letting a 14 year old babysit if they are sensible but clearly this one isn't if she allowed the child to leave without agreeing with you first.
and secondly you're asking if you should let him see her again? Surely you know the answer to that?

First aid course on a Sunday, that went on until late in the evening???

I think SS need to be involved if I am honest!

Sure.

Hell no.

I don't even know where to BEGIN with this one. No, don't let DD see him. Contact Social Services immediately (the police will no doubt have already done so) and work with them to ensure he doesn't have unsuoervised contact again. And don't leave your 7 year old DD with your 14 year old DD again – she can't be expected to keep her safe from an alcoholic father. And ffs your DD has been through a trauma and is operating on a few hours' sleep at best – what on earth is she doing in school?! Get in touch with your GP and see if you can access some support for her – she'll need it after what she's been through, even if she seems okay for now.

Good grief.

You left a 14 year old to deal with an alcoholic parent.

How in god's name is she supposed to challenge him and look after her sister.

Then after all this, you are happy for him to look after the 7 year old without forcing him to court?

Start thinking about the situation and the decisions you make and the consequences they may have.

The poor friends parents must have been beside themselves

Well this is all your bad. Your poor 14 year old having to act as parent where she was clearly not able to.

Come on. Don’t feed the troll.