My 7 year old DD went missing

[NimbleBee]

Hello all (long post) bear with me.
Yesterday morning I was on a first aid course for work.
DD is 7 so was left in the care of my 14yrs old DD.
7yrs old alcoholic father come round the house not drunk at this time, so has offered to take 7yr old Dd to the park with a friend same age.
They went at approx 11am no food no drinks no appropriate clothing e.g no coat, no mobile phone.
I get back late evening no word from ex of my Dd whereabouts.
Gets to 20.00hrs. Dd friends parents call the police. Police come out take descriptions of the girls and my ex.
Police did a search through the late night and into early hours. No signs of them.
5am my cousin located all 3 a mile from my house. Ex has been drinking alcohol through the day yesterday and in the night.
The girls have been in his care he's been drunk all this time.
Dd and 7yrs old friend cold, tired, hungry, thirsty, shock up.
My Dd witnessed my ex (her Dad) get beat up by her friends Dad & uncle.
Ex has got broken ribs, broken collar bone, bruising, facial swelling, bust lip etc... he looks in a bad way.
Do I send Dd round to see her Dad as he's asking to see her?
DD currently in school to get back to normality.
Dd did say they had no food, no drink, walked for miles around residential areas, near rivers, over motorway bridges.

You both could probably do with a bit of therapy. I say that kindly. You both need to learn that you’re not responsible for him and untangle yourselves from him a bit more.

I can't believe you're even asking. Absolutely not, and she'd never see him again if I had my way

She seen her friend after school, the girl who went missing with her yesterday.

So you let your child hang out after school today with the child whose relatives beat her father in front of her? And that child's parents let their child hang out with the child of an alcoholic who took their child without consent until 5am?

Ok sure. You're all finalists for parent of the year.

I wouldn’t let her anywhere near him.

You’ve got to explain to her in an age appropriate way, that he’s far too ill atm and consequently it could be very dangerous for her to be with him.

I feel for you and your DD, what a shit situation to be in, but your job first and foremost is to protect her.

If this is true, you are all so messed up. Other child’s family included. None of you would be near my child again.

You need to call Social Services and ask for help. You and your kids all need support to set sensible boundaries and understand what is normal and acceptable

the police will have made safeguarding referrals about both the younger girls so the more proactive you are about asking for help the better.

What the fuck is wrong with you all... if my child had been abducted by her friends parent, my child would have nothing to do with anyone from that family ever again. I'd probably threaten to punch your lights out for even knocking on my door to be honest.

Like I said earlier, this other girls family must be rough as fuck too - because there's no way they would allow this to go on if they were normal.

Expecting an active alcoholic to be safe childcare, wut?

Letting her hang out at the home of people she witnessed violently assaulting her dad, wut?

Massive parenting fails here

You can't be serious. Of course you don't let her see him.

I hope you've told her that it's all his fault.

Kidnapped one day, then sent into school the next. Great parenting 👍

If this is even real....

I think this is incredibly sad

it’s sad that he put the girls and all of you through that and that you are presumably used to his poor behaviour.

Ite also sad that he has been beaten up and utterly shameful this was in front of the children.

I would say that any contact now has to be supervised as he has proven himself untrustworthy.

To be honest I'm really concerned that you'd even consider letting him see her after all that.
He's an addict and he's not reliable while he continues to get intoxicated. The fact that he saw fit to take two 7 year old girls- one of whom wasn't even his child- out with him and that he proceeded to get drunk to the point of being incapable of caring for them means he should not be allowed anywhere a child. Period.
What if he was associating with predators? Your child and her friend could have been abused while he was supposed to be looking after them. They could have been abducted, hurt, anything could have happened to them.
I get how difficult it can be when you're working and have to juggle everything, especially when money is tight. I totally know the struggle, I've been there.
My ex is alcoholic. He never pulled any stunts like this though, and it took a while but I eventually said he was t seeing out child unsupervised till he sorted his drinking out. It took months but he did- up to a point.
As parents we have to be our children's armour. We have to protect them and letting this man near your child while he's drinking like this is not protecting your daughter.
There is a lot of support out there for you and your girls. My advice to you would be get some legal advice Wonen's Aid, CAB might be able help or at least point you in the right direction- and tell him he needs to sort himself out. It's likely to take a long time and be prepared for him to do nothing but please, please, find the strength to stand up to him and encourage him to find help, but please protect your precious kids first and foremost x

Omg op, that would be the end of any unsupervised access to the child. Christ

After everything she’s been through — being cold, hungry, and frightened, along with witnessing violence — she’s likely feeling overwhelmed and unsure about how to process it all. Right now, her well-being comes first.

It might help to focus on giving her some time to settle back into her normal routine before deciding whether she should see her dad. She’s probably feeling a mix of emotions — scared, confused, maybe even angry or guilty — and those feelings need space to settle. Rushing her into a visit could make her feel even more unsettled.

If her dad is asking to see her, it’s important to consider what’s best for her, not what’s easiest for him. A visit may be appropriate later, but it should happen when she feels ready and in a way that feels safe. If and when that time comes, a neutral environment with another trusted adult present might be a better option than sending her straight to him.

It may also help to have a gentle conversation with your daughter to understand how she’s feeling about everything. Let her know she’s safe, that she doesn’t have to see her dad until she’s ready, and that you’ll support her no matter what. If she’s struggling to process what happened, speaking to someone like a school counselor or therapist could help her make sense of it all.

Why did the friend's parents call the police? You should have.

I believe this story and it makes me want to cry. You seem so detached and not with it OP. I fear for your daughter. Nobody is looking after her. Anything could have happened to her out there with a man who was incapable of looking after himself.

Round to see him??

is that a joke.

Sorry,no idea why that horrible gif appeared, have reported it for deleting

I suspect that the parents of the friend won't allow their daughter to see the OP's DD any more.

Given that the police were involved, I expect there will be a referral to social services.

I wonder if the alcoholic will dare to press charges against the father and uncle for assault?

I see why you're asking. You haven't made the best choices here so getting some advice is a good idea. Definitely keep her away from her dad.

Your poor DD. She needs a medical professional to assess her, she's been through a trauma. Who knows what else happened in that time that she's not yet told you?

Do the school know what happened? They can't take proper care of her if they don't know.

Definitely don't let her see her dad unsupervised again. Or see him at all really. You aren't keeping her safe if you do.

To me it seems like you need help to know how keep your kids safe. You aren't thinking straight and there must be a reason.
Ring the police and the school pastoral care today. Don't protect this man or let him near your kids again. Get some help with safeguarding them and with whatever is preventing you from thinking straight.
What's been happening to get to this point?

@MyNameIsSharon yeah my cousin found them. Me & my 14yr old Daughter were in cousins 5 seater car, 1 seat was taken by cousins son, one by me, my Dd14 and my cousin driving the other seat was for my DD missing friend.
I returned DDs friend home and was having conversation with girl parents.
That is when the girl father and uncle caught up with my ex, before I could get back to my 7yr old DD, that is how she witnessed her Dad being attacked.

You left your DD with him while you returned her friend home? You are either a terrible parent or a great troll.

The sending the child to school right after a very traumatizing experience, the type of "questions" the girl is asking and the "getting them together" (DD and her friend) so soon made me realize that April 1st is coming upon us.

Are you a clown?

You’d think that, but OP said that the girls had seen each other after school. Despite being awol until 5am, a full day of school after that…. they met up. 7 year olds.

Both families are as bad as each other. I wouldn’t believe this, but there are families like this all over the estates near me and in my children’s school. They would have been standing in the school playground at 9am wringing out all the drama they could to to the hoards of other rough parents who would have been lapping it up.

These poor children.