My 7 year old DD went missing

[NimbleBee]

Hello all (long post) bear with me.
Yesterday morning I was on a first aid course for work.
DD is 7 so was left in the care of my 14yrs old DD.
7yrs old alcoholic father come round the house not drunk at this time, so has offered to take 7yr old Dd to the park with a friend same age.
They went at approx 11am no food no drinks no appropriate clothing e.g no coat, no mobile phone.
I get back late evening no word from ex of my Dd whereabouts.
Gets to 20.00hrs. Dd friends parents call the police. Police come out take descriptions of the girls and my ex.
Police did a search through the late night and into early hours. No signs of them.
5am my cousin located all 3 a mile from my house. Ex has been drinking alcohol through the day yesterday and in the night.
The girls have been in his care he's been drunk all this time.
Dd and 7yrs old friend cold, tired, hungry, thirsty, shock up.
My Dd witnessed my ex (her Dad) get beat up by her friends Dad & uncle.
Ex has got broken ribs, broken collar bone, bruising, facial swelling, bust lip etc... he looks in a bad way.
Do I send Dd round to see her Dad as he's asking to see her?
DD currently in school to get back to normality.
Dd did say they had no food, no drink, walked for miles around residential areas, near rivers, over motorway bridges.

First post has nailed it @NimbleBee

I'm truly sorry this has happened to you and your DD but until he gets his act together no he shouldn't see her

I'm having doubts about this one.

He deserved the beating he got.

And if that were my child’s father, he wouldn’t be having any contact again, possibly supervised contact down the line if he cleans up his act (he won’t).

Absolutely not,he can’t be trusted to care for your dd.

Why would someone make something this mad up?

Like.. what would be the point?

It is crazy, but you’d be crazier to make it up!

On the tiny off chance that you are not just taking the piss in a very distasteful way - then no, you should not "send DD round" to see him. Otherwise, I hope you are enjoying the reaction you wanted from this thread today, but otherwise grow up and get some better hobbies soon.

This is the sort of post that sounds so implausible that you have to really hope that the OP is a liar, because if this is true then it's so utterly depressing on so many levels I don't even know where to start.

But who does a work related first aid course from Sunday morning until 8pm?

are you mad

the other child parnts surely have reported this why hasnt he been arrested

Of course you fucking don't.

I wouldn't give a flying fuck what he 'wants'. What DD wants is what matters, and frankly I wouldn't even be asking her if she wants to see him. If she asks independently that's one thing and I'd consider it then but I'd not be putting any expectation that she should want to see him onto her at all. He'd never be alone with her again.

She and the friend must have been terrified.

What on earth you're thinking sending DD to school I've no idea.

The friends relatives shouldn't have resorted to violence, but if someone kidnapped my child - which is absolutely what he did - I can't say with any certainty that I wouldn't have attacked him, and I've never hit anyone in my life.

Your 14 year old DD is clearly not mature enough to be looking after her 7 year old sister. She should have at least contacted you to tell you. And letting her leave the house with no coat. I can totally understand why your ex got beat up. No I wouldn't be taking DD to see him. He put his own needs first not her's.

Is this a leg pull?

Yeah, blame the 14 yr old who should have … what exactly? Refused access to her sister’s father? Stopped him from taking her?

All the responsibility for the whole situation lies with the parents. The whole fucking thing sounds like an episode of Shameless.

If you know there’s an unpredictable alcoholic in your DD’s life, perhaps don’t leave her in the care of another child? A 14 yr old cannot be expected to be able to protect her or override the wishes of an adult man.

She obviously shouldn’t have been sent to school today, let alone be expected to visit the person who created this whole - potentially very dangerous - situation. I’m sure he’ll be weeping in his cups about how sorry he is and how he never meant it to happen, but he’s a self-absorbed addict and not a safe person for a child to be around. The hospital visit is for his benefit, not hers, to absolve himself of his bullshit guilt.

Well hopefully the ending will be that the children were removed into the care system, since neither of the adults are capable of parenting them.

7yrs old alcoholic father come round the house not drunk at this time

Okay but how drunk are you right now?

Yes absolutely, it will make it much easier for social services to remove both of your children from your care permanently.
Or if you want to keep your dds then I suggest that you cut all contact with the twat and start thinking about what you're going to say to social services when they come calling which they will as they will have received a report from the police about child endangerment and neglect of your dd

I work hard for my children, hence why I was on training at the weekend.
It is difficult being the only present parent and working.
My Dd will not be seeing her Dad until he gets the help he needs.
It is a true post unfortunately. This weekend has upset me a lot.

…so 5am your child is found, having not eaten or drunk anything. Police get her back to you at 6 … you then send her off to school, after this tramatuc night - one would Imagine tired. You also will not have slept all night, yet you have had a conversation with you (hospitalised??) ex. In the middle of this Police will be doing some sort of investgation with, one would imagine, Social Services involvement.

Pull the other one, it’s got bells on it.

Chinny Reckon

I get that it's hard and it's been an awful time. But you asked if you should send your daughter to see the man who abducted her and her friend and put them in such a terrible situation - just asking shows a proper lack of judgement. What if the random strangers like me in your phone said yes, send her in to see her dad, would you do it?! You need to step up here.

NB - if on the off chance, as I said in my first post, this isn't a wind up.

Upset you wtf do you think it's done to both your dds and the 7 year old friend.
I hope you've got more than I work hard for my kids as an explanation for social services because that won't cut it with them

Be honest op, is part of the reason you want him in her life for childcare reasons as you’re struggling with doing it all?

If so that is not a good reason. He cannot be trusted.

This man is completely irresponsible and has endangered your daughter and her friend. Thank your lucky stars nothing worse happened and speak to social services.

No unsupervised visits until he’s completely sober and has sought help for his addiction.

Hang on a minute. Didn’t your 14 year old contact you to say her sister had gone out and not returned?

The bit I can't figure out if why DDs friend went too. So friend is at yours hanging out, DDs Dad turns up and her sister doesn't think to argue with him, but then he takes the friend too? No one contacts the parents of the friend to say the child is no longer in this house. Surely they would call round to collect their child and become immediately panicked to find her gone.

What happened between the time it became apparent he took her and 8pm when police were called, were you all phoning and looking for him? 8pm to 5am is a very long time so it must have been a big police operation by this time. Yet when they were finally located, the friends Dad's reaction was to beat the man in front of the children. Presumably in front of the police too? So is he now facing charges? This is all so insane.

Please don't let him anywhere near her

Take care of yourself aswell OP, can't imagine how you must be feeling. But he's to blame, nobody else x