My 7 year old DD went missing

[NimbleBee]

Hello all (long post) bear with me.
Yesterday morning I was on a first aid course for work.
DD is 7 so was left in the care of my 14yrs old DD.
7yrs old alcoholic father come round the house not drunk at this time, so has offered to take 7yr old Dd to the park with a friend same age.
They went at approx 11am no food no drinks no appropriate clothing e.g no coat, no mobile phone.
I get back late evening no word from ex of my Dd whereabouts.
Gets to 20.00hrs. Dd friends parents call the police. Police come out take descriptions of the girls and my ex.
Police did a search through the late night and into early hours. No signs of them.
5am my cousin located all 3 a mile from my house. Ex has been drinking alcohol through the day yesterday and in the night.
The girls have been in his care he's been drunk all this time.
Dd and 7yrs old friend cold, tired, hungry, thirsty, shock up.
My Dd witnessed my ex (her Dad) get beat up by her friends Dad & uncle.
Ex has got broken ribs, broken collar bone, bruising, facial swelling, bust lip etc... he looks in a bad way.
Do I send Dd round to see her Dad as he's asking to see her?
DD currently in school to get back to normality.
Dd did say they had no food, no drink, walked for miles around residential areas, near rivers, over motorway bridges.

The other parents are just as bad

How do you come to that conclusion?

7 year olds are allowed to play in the street. Their child did the sensible thing and went indoors to ask her parents if she could go with her friend and her dad to the park.

It's not like she shot off with a complete stranger and her parents didn't realise she was missing?

You left your 7 year old, who had been missing for hours, outside, alone, with her drunk alcoholic father.

What was stopping him wandering off somewhere else with her?

Can you see that this was not a good decision? Do you understand why people think you made a whole series of bad decisions here? Because you keep giving more and more (frankly alarming) situational information but none of it is WHY you did these things, and it makes no bloody sense at all.

If this all happened as you've said, then your 7 year old is the most sensible one in the whole tale, including you and your cousin, and it's surely obvious to you that that's just awful. Isn't it?

This is why I think that this doesn't add up.

So were they in the park all night? Outside all night with no coats, in March? And at no point did they cry and beg to be taken home? And nobody else witnessed this odd scene? This is mental to the point of being unbelievable.

To be honest, I'm not surprised the friends dad and uncle beat him up! He kidnapped her!
Remember, from their point of view, a STRANGER took their child. They didn't know where she was! I'd have been absolutely beside myself if that had been my child.
Frankly, he did well to ONLY get a beating.

So when the other girl's parents rang the police back to say they'd been found at 5am, they obviously came to your house to do a welfare check.

So did your child get any sleep at all before getting sent to school?

I'd also like to know at what point the other child's parents realised she'd been taken without their knowledge. They must have left her at her friends house with no adult present and not checked on her for an awfully long time, if the police were not called until around 8 and she'd been there since before 11am.

They are seven remember, not 13. They are babies.

She’s 7.

I wouldn’t be letting my 7 year old go off to the park with a parent they didn’t know. She said they live 3 doors down and the child’s father and uncle knew him by sight to beat the shit out of him - so if they knew him, they probably knew he was dodgy as fuck. They are probably dodgy as fuck themselves.

This all screams of the shitty council estates near me. Little kids running round on the street and the parents not caring who takes them where, as long as they are out of their hair.

Op said they let her go off with him when the little girl went home to ask.

So if he was a stranger to them, that’s pretty shitty parenting in the first instance.

so they walked around for miles in the cold with no coats or anything 😞 poor little mites. It must have been really scary for them.

I agree. I missed the bit where the child went and asked her parents if she could go. Either they didn't know the man, so the answer should perhaps have been no, or they DID know the man, in which case the answer should definitely have been no. Either way, for a simple trip to the park on foot, why wait until 8 pm to report them all missing? And if they knew she was going why didn't they make her take a coat?

What this thread shows, if it’s real which MN clearly feel it is, is that there are people who just don’t know how to live responsibly and safely.

Every single step in this saga is an object lesson in what not to do.

Don’t leave small kids with older kids
Don’t let small kids play in the street unsupervised
Don’t let your charge go to the park with an alcoholic
Don’t let your child go to the park with a friend’s alcoholic father
Don’t wait hours to report your child missing
Don’t leave your child with said alcoholic whilst you transport the other child
Don’t beat people up, especially not in front of children
Don’t kidnap children and get drunk whilst supposedly looking after them

Sweet. Fucking. Jesus.

OP - how old are you?

So just to be clear, once you'd found your missing small child who was cold, scared, unfed and had been so for several hours, you left her with the drunk who had caused her to be in that state while you and a carful of people took her friend home?

Sure okay.

Yep. This absolutely doesn't sound right.

It’s like a new plot line for Shameless.

This. Poor girl lacks two sensible parents. I don't know why you didn't wait with her while the others took the friend home.

Please explain again why you left your DD with your ex in order to drop friend home?

Your DD has been kidnapped by an alcoholic
You mount a search
You find them
By your own admission - they were wandering around with no coats or food for hours including crossing motorways
You leave your DD in his care when he could wander off again.

Seriously?

I am reporting this thread as this latest development is so mental that I am hoping you are a troll.

Where does she say the other child was in school? OPs daughter saw her after school which suggests the other girl was kept at home ?

I'd hope this is something that didn't happen in reality but then it'd take one sick mind to make up something like this for some attention on Mumsnet. If this isn't some trolling post I'd honestly say do not allow that man to be anywhere near a child unsupervised. He's irresponsible and selfish he put those kids hugely at risk and I wouldn't be surprised if the police have already filed a report to social services. Whilst legally you haven't broken any laws by having the 14year old babysitting the 7year old they may question mums judgment in her older child's ability to responsibly and safely look after her younger sister. Did nobody think to question where this alcoholic man was with two 7year olds so late on a school night and why was he not contactable?He should not have had the opportunity to take those kids anywhere if he had no means of communication in case of emergencies. Every adult in this scenario is irresponsible including the other child's parents who didn't think to question and report their missing child until 8pm after being out since before lunch time.

Your " annoyed" .you just don't comprehend the gravity of this situation OP it's so frustrating reading your replies!

Is this the plot of a rubbish TV show ? Can't be real.

Agree 100% 👏 👏 👏 The fact the OP even has to ask is troubling