DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

It’s a bit childish to care about a social media post.

Are you 15??

Honestly, if I were him I would run for the hills

My partner doesn't wish me a happy birthday on social media as he doesn't really use it much.

Was it your 14th birthday?! Social media is not real life, who cares.

Are you sure he didn’t silently cringe at your post, despite appreciating the thought?

He sounds like a sensible person.

How old are you? 12?

He thoughtfully set up a really special day for you and you berate him for not putting a post on social media? Madness.

Grow up.

I can only assume you’re very early twenties or younger. This is not a thing for grown ups. It really isn’t.

So, in real life your partner was considerate, thoughtful and made the day really special and you reciprocated by being frosty cause he didn’t make a fuss in pretend land? You’re bonkers and I’d be raging if I was your partner at how shallow you are.

You sounds really immature.

Never have done them kind of posts and do cringe a bit when I see others do them for birthdays and anniversary’s etc. Really don’t see the need for them.

Sounds quite childish that be upset about social media and ruin your evening when he'd made an effort in real life. If he isn't a social media person then he might find it quite embarrassing to post/be posted about. I know I would.

Are you 12? You are being ridiculous. You need to apologise and say not sure what came over you and you realise how silly you were being.

I'm team husband.
I think I would feel less about a partner who felt that they had to do an Instagram post about the fact it was my birthday.

If I were your partner I’d end the relationship. You sound insane, and completely obsessed with social media. He seems to have made your birthday lovely, and yet you demand some kind of online public display as ‘the absolute minimum’ expectation? What a nightmare.

There are important things in life (meaningful, physical connections in real life) and there are totally frivolous, trivial, transient things (like gloating on social media). Recognise that distinction, and you will be happy.

I'm sorry was it your sweet 16th?

I would rather be shot out of a cannon than be on a “thoughtful insta grid.”

OP! Stop, you're being silly, and ungrateful.

Come on now. None of this matters. In fact its performative cringe when couples do this. Count your lucky stars that you've found someone who doesn't set much store by such silly things.

Awww bless you 🙄

You say he made the day really special for you. So many people would give their right arm to be able to say their partner did that for them on their birthday.
And yet you are miffed because he didn't post about it on social media.
That is just so unappreciative of him. And ridiculous.

I just can't do that kind of stuff. It makes me cringe inside out. My relationship with dh is private. I think some people are like this and some really aren't. It's fine either way but I think you should respect him. He put up with you doing a big post for him which probably made him squirm so you should put up with him not being that way.