Stepchildren and uni costs

[Soootired23]

The other day my DSS came in catasrophising that he wouldn't be able to afford uni.

His maths show him his loan will only cover (he'll get the second highest amount) his rent and maybe some extra bits, but that realistically it will.mostly go on rent.

Then I told him that what his DF gives his DM as maintenance would go straight to him, so that would help too. He still was panicking about it. I then said we'd help with something like the grocery shopping (I'm thinking £150 a month, which to me seems ok, considering I only spend £500 for a "modular" family of 6).
So ultimately his "luxuries" would have to come from any sort of job he can get while at uni.

He was a bit more chilled after the convo, but I'm concerned he think we'll "rescue" him, which we 100% don't plan to. DH is with me on this, but I think all of his parental figure is need to sit down with him and explain it to him, but my DH thinks that's not needed and overkill.

For context, we make more than double than his DM and step dad, we go on holidays abroad, etc .. So he might hunk we can "afford" more, but we still have other 3 DC to support one way or the other.

So I guess is our approach unreasonable?

The answer to all of that is maybe! He knows how to make himself coffee, Instagramable yogurt bowls, and sandwiches.

He tends to not spend a lot of money on clothes, but also thinks saving 3.50 a week is a decent saving for uni :/

He definitely needs a reality check and an adult talk about money before it’s too late.

Can he accept a cheaper room (go without an ensuite), stay in cheaper halls to have more money to live off?

Working and earning over summer will help and let him see how long and hard you have to work to buy a nice panini, nice coffee, pint of beer, latest pair of trainers etc and non of these are essential expenditure.

Make sure he needs to understand that he pays his rent first as a priority then works out what he has left and how long that has to last him. Also he needs to understand if he splurges on luxuries or non essentials like a big night out or several during freshers week, designer clothes or undies, takeaway coffees, takeaway meals and ready meals etc then he will have less money for his weekly food shop etc. If he wants more for his money most students shop at the local Lidl or Aldi rather than Waitrose, M&S, Sainsbury, Tesco etc. Takeaways and ready meals are an expensive luxury.

An 16 to 25 railcard is a good buy and if you give him an allowance and his mum is in agreement with this do it monthly rather than weekly or termly (so he is in with a chance of budgeting but shouldn’t get into too much difficulty).

This thread is really getting ridiculous now. DC are at uni to study and try new experiences, it’s not meant to be a prison camp.

Virtually every student will have ‘big nights out’ during freshers’ week- it a rite of passage and way of meeting people, not some huge extravagance.

Clearly parents shouldn’t be expected to fund Prada handbags and Canada Goose jackets (although many international parents do), but it is part and parcel of having DC that you contribute to their reasonable living standards for uni.

Also, Aldi and Lidl are certainly not always the cheapest. DS found that M&S often had fantastic yellow sticker offers in the evening!

My son is at Manchester Uni. I was shocked at the price of accommodation. I think 2 years ago in his first year the cost for the 41 weeks was about 7k for a pretty run down room with a basin. They will only be able to stay in halls for the first year as there's huge demand. After that they will have to rent privately and most likely have to pay for the whole year's rental July - July. I think his was about £150 per week (each person) 8 sharing a house. You will most likely have to guarantee his rental contract.

Oh get over yourself!?! Some students are having to pay high rent out of minimum loan amounts and some parents aren’t supporting them and if they go mad too often they will get into financial difficulties not being able to afford to eat and pay rent etc.

Yes all students have nights out and pre before nights out. But if they go out too much, live on take outs and ready meals, go mad with new clothes and book a weekend away they are going to come unstuck and run out of money sharpish.

@Motheranddaughter

EVERYONE is skint at uni! It’s par for the course

I appreciate that the funding system isn’t great, but in my view it is up to parents to support DC at uni (as the loan system expects).

I wouldn’t expect my DC to be missing nights out in freshers week in order to eat, nor would I want them sharing bathrooms with loads of others if I could at all help it.

That is not true

Yes, but there's the technicality that I'm not his parent, but a parental figure.

Doesn’t matter- the loan system it based on household income and he is part of your household.

No, he's not. He's part of his DMs household which is WHY he gets access to £8285 as opposed to £4,915 (if he declared he lived with us).