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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Which house/life? Choosing today

221 replies

Longsummerdays25 · 18/03/2025 07:45

NC for this thread. For three years dh and I have been going over the same decision, and I would appreciate your input - what would you do in our positron?

We have a buyer for our house, and it’s progressing really rapidly. Dh is 58 and doing a high intensity job and getting very tired. I am working pt, I have just finished some new qualifications that will mean I can work more lucratively, and remotely if I wish (53) dc are late teens/early 20s. We must decide today a fairly life changing decision. We are downsizing.

Option A) Use all of our available funds to buy a bigger house than we need for the two of us in our immediate area, so that dc have plenty of space when they come back from uni, on the off chance they might remain with us for longer it has plenty of space, very close to my friends. Dh will have to work for at least another 3 years plus. We won’t have any spare funds to do anything beyond cover our bills/basic holidays for a good long while.

Option B) Move half an hour away to a pretty village, still within easy reach of our friends but they will not be on the doorstep. Beautiful area and it has a hobby I love to do that is easily accessible. Buy a smaller house but with enough bedrooms for each dc and a teen den for dc. Friends will have to travel 1/2 hour to see us at home but we usually meet in town, and that’s 20 mins away,. It would mean we could free up funds to have adventures or even buy a small place overseas which is a joint dream of ours. Dh can retire or go pt as soon as he needs to.

Option C) move back to family town which is commutable to London but dc’s friends are here and they won’t know anyone. The upside is they can live closer to London for work eventually. Assuming they want to.

WWYD?

We need to make an offer before we run out of time!

Thabk you

OP posts:
cheezncrackers · 18/03/2025 07:47

Option B

FiveShelties · 18/03/2025 07:47

B for me

Mydoglovescheese · 18/03/2025 07:47

Option B sounds ideal

vivainsomnia · 18/03/2025 07:47

Option 2

BloominNora · 18/03/2025 07:48

Opting B - from what you have written it's and absolute no brainer!

SoScarletItWas · 18/03/2025 07:48

B and it’s an absolute no-brainer.

DH can retire sooner
you still have enough space
your hobby
you could buy somewhere else
proximity to friends and town

Sounds perfect!

fruitbrewhaha · 18/03/2025 07:48

Not c. Probably B. But I’d expect kids to bounce back and live with you a while longer.

Azandme · 18/03/2025 07:49

B - and the way you've written it shows you think so too.

Anonym00se · 18/03/2025 07:49

I’d speak to your DCs and see what their take is.

Ahsheeit · 18/03/2025 07:50

B!

Zanatdy · 18/03/2025 07:50

Option B

Kittenswhiskers · 18/03/2025 07:50

Azandme · 18/03/2025 07:49

B - and the way you've written it shows you think so too.

Agree b and from the way you’ve worded it op, I think you think that too 😂😂good luck

Barrenfieldoffucks · 18/03/2025 07:51

B. Any day of the week

rivalsbinge · 18/03/2025 07:51

Option b is what we did. Tiny cottage 20 away from our last village and we finally have a fab community, love the house and less stress. Boys were a bit moany as it’s more than just the size but at 21&18 they will be off soon anyhow.

Constantlurker112 · 18/03/2025 07:51

B seems to be the one you want to do, given the way you have described it. Buying more space or moving specifically to respond to what your children might want in the future feels more tenuous.

HeartandSeoul · 18/03/2025 07:52

Option B. When I read this option, the positivity and excitement shone through in every sentence you wrote, whereas I could feel the lack of joy when I read the others.

Sinkingfeeling952 · 18/03/2025 07:52

B

Longsummerdays25 · 18/03/2025 07:52

Option B does have space for dc, but less reception rooms ( it has two) and a smaller garden. Proportions are smaller overall but still can comfortably fit everyone coming home. We live in sn expensive part of the area, so by downsizing a little further out it makes such a difference. The only downside is we won’t be quite as close to friends as we have been. But still definitely easy enough to see them.

OP posts:
Sprig1 · 18/03/2025 07:54

B, obviously.

Lungwort · 18/03/2025 07:55

B.

GreyAreas · 18/03/2025 07:55

B, the perfect safe adventure, put the offer in

Agix · 18/03/2025 07:55

Option B!

Whatafustercluck · 18/03/2025 07:55

Surely this is a no brainer? B. I can't see why this is such a big decision, sorry. Even the way you've worded it is clear you think B is the best option!

Longsummerdays25 · 18/03/2025 07:56

I think I am scared of moving a little further out and to a place we don’t know as well. We are however really bored where we are, and the idea of staying here doesn’t exactly excite me. It just feels like a big move. I also love my friends and would hate to lose them somehow. The new village has such a community and on paper is everything we wanted.

OP posts:
Londonrach1 · 18/03/2025 07:57

B ...you wrote it differently.. it's where your heart and gut is!