Which house/life? Choosing today

[Longsummerdays25]

NC for this thread. For three years dh and I have been going over the same decision, and I would appreciate your input - what would you do in our positron?

We have a buyer for our house, and it’s progressing really rapidly. Dh is 58 and doing a high intensity job and getting very tired. I am working pt, I have just finished some new qualifications that will mean I can work more lucratively, and remotely if I wish (53) dc are late teens/early 20s. We must decide today a fairly life changing decision. We are downsizing.

Option A) Use all of our available funds to buy a bigger house than we need for the two of us in our immediate area, so that dc have plenty of space when they come back from uni, on the off chance they might remain with us for longer it has plenty of space, very close to my friends. Dh will have to work for at least another 3 years plus. We won’t have any spare funds to do anything beyond cover our bills/basic holidays for a good long while.

Option B) Move half an hour away to a pretty village, still within easy reach of our friends but they will not be on the doorstep. Beautiful area and it has a hobby I love to do that is easily accessible. Buy a smaller house but with enough bedrooms for each dc and a teen den for dc. Friends will have to travel 1/2 hour to see us at home but we usually meet in town, and that’s 20 mins away,. It would mean we could free up funds to have adventures or even buy a small place overseas which is a joint dream of ours. Dh can retire or go pt as soon as he needs to.

Option C) move back to family town which is commutable to London but dc’s friends are here and they won’t know anyone. The upside is they can live closer to London for work eventually. Assuming they want to.

WWYD?

We need to make an offer before we run out of time!

Thabk you

Oh, I get it. That's entirely reasonable. I also live in a big house (7 bedrooms in fact). I like it even though I now live here alone, DH having died last year. The rooms provide a summer and a winter sitting room, a library, an art studio (facing north-west), dressing rooms, a dining room, our own pub. Each room reminds me of DH. I don't rattle around in it.

I'm with @Bubblesgun option D/4 look for a smaller place where you are.

Reasons for this

• my DD has just moved 20 mins drive away and let me tell you it's a long 20 mins. No popping round easily as it's a 40 min round trip. It changes the dynamic completely.
• all of my local friends who have moved out - most not that far- we've gradually lost touch as it's just not convenient. Obvs these are friends rather than 'best friends' but it does make a significant difference
• we are at a similar life stage. When your kids get big/adult, things have a habit of changing very quickly and unexpectedly - we have gone from a packed house to empty in just 8 weeks. Having my mates right on the doorstep is making a huge difference to me making that adjustment.
• villages are much more difficult for transport , doctors, , pharmacies, food shops , dentists, hospitals etc later on when you are more likely to need them. Yes you can drive right now but that won't be forever. If you have always lived in a village then fine, but if you aren't used to it and don't have that network it can be much harder. I know you are both still young but life moves fast!

I also think it's telling that you are on here as you are clearly undecided - that usually means that deep down something isn't quite right with each of these options. Think again.

Is this a trick question?

Of course it's B.

Based on how you have written it you have already chosen option b :)

Option B 100%

Definitely option B

B

Option A

you are in your 50s and could
live another 30/40 years..too young to retire and buy a granny home

I think you really want Option B.

B

Option B, without a doubt.

Option B. My Mum always thought I'd move back home after Uni but I had a whirlwind romance, got engaged and married within eighteen months... (Still married!)

You honestly can't make plans based on what might happen. Enjoy life now.

B for me

Yes but young enough to have a second life that doesn’t entail slogging to pay a mortgage. OP didn’t say downsize to a granny flat just not upgrade to something bigger.

B all day long, sounds idyllic!!

B

No brainer - B

Think carefully about what your long term plans are
do you intend to move again before retirement?
or will this be your forever home
when you’re fit and able every thing is possible but bus routes local amenities become a huge issue as you get older,
im only in my 60,s live rurally , no buses no
shops , etc and when the kids come home for weekends etc train is 25 mins away
they both live in London and dont have cars
its a thing

Option B

It might be worth researching activity groups in the area you’re moving to. Social clubs, snooker, walking clubs, the U3A might be a good option for lots of different interests. Might help him slow down but not lose focus.

B all day long!