Which house/life? Choosing today

[Longsummerdays25]

NC for this thread. For three years dh and I have been going over the same decision, and I would appreciate your input - what would you do in our positron?

We have a buyer for our house, and it’s progressing really rapidly. Dh is 58 and doing a high intensity job and getting very tired. I am working pt, I have just finished some new qualifications that will mean I can work more lucratively, and remotely if I wish (53) dc are late teens/early 20s. We must decide today a fairly life changing decision. We are downsizing.

Option A) Use all of our available funds to buy a bigger house than we need for the two of us in our immediate area, so that dc have plenty of space when they come back from uni, on the off chance they might remain with us for longer it has plenty of space, very close to my friends. Dh will have to work for at least another 3 years plus. We won’t have any spare funds to do anything beyond cover our bills/basic holidays for a good long while.

Option B) Move half an hour away to a pretty village, still within easy reach of our friends but they will not be on the doorstep. Beautiful area and it has a hobby I love to do that is easily accessible. Buy a smaller house but with enough bedrooms for each dc and a teen den for dc. Friends will have to travel 1/2 hour to see us at home but we usually meet in town, and that’s 20 mins away,. It would mean we could free up funds to have adventures or even buy a small place overseas which is a joint dream of ours. Dh can retire or go pt as soon as he needs to.

Option C) move back to family town which is commutable to London but dc’s friends are here and they won’t know anyone. The upside is they can live closer to London for work eventually. Assuming they want to.

WWYD?

We need to make an offer before we run out of time!

Thabk you

B!!

Option B: nothing in life is guaranteed so I would support DH to retire as soon as he can

It seems unreal to me that a trip of 20 or 30 minutes is possibly too much for your friends.
Many of our friends live an hour away or more.
Your true friends will still be available.

Option B 100% no ifs no buts - go for it!

This is a chance for you & DH to start the next exciting new chapter. You’ve already been debating it for 3 years - why wait another 3 to really start living? You can’t base your decision on what your kids & your friends might want to do with their lives in the years to come.

Option A certainties:

• you’ll be financially strapped/stretched

• your DH will have to continue work full time in a stressful, intensive, tiring job for 3+ years or worse still find something else approaching 60 if made redundant which is possible in the current economic climate

• you’ll be living in an area you’re bored with & don’t particularly like anymore & can’t escape from but for “basic holidays”

• you’ll have the upkeep, maintenance costs, energy costs, cleaning/gardening of a large property taking up time & money

Option A variables:

• no guarantee that your DC will come home to live after university - a lot work abroad or go travelling (which also rules out Option C - a move nobody wants based on them possibly working in London)

• no guarantee that your friends will stay together & in the area - they might all be planning moves to villages or overseas retirement/holiday homes or have to move to look after elderly parents etc.

Fast forward a year to living Option B:

• you’re living in a pretty village in a beautiful area with a community feel

• you’ve got lots of new stimulation - loads of new places, restaurants, people etc.

• yet you can comfortably nip into your old familiar town in just half an hour (only an extra 10 minutes!)

• you can enjoy the hobby you love much more easily from there

• you can still see all your friends, meeting up in town like before or adding 10 minutes to visit their houses

• your friends may well love coming out to your pretty village for visits - when we moved several hours away to the coast friends & family visited more often not less!

• your smaller garden is plenty as you’ve got countryside on your doorstep

• you increase your reception rooms if you need to by using the freed up money to add a conservatory or summer house/garden cabin or by converting the teen den back when the kids leave home

• with your new qualifications you’re working fewer hours at something more lucrative & presumably enjoyable - from home

• your DH is less stressed purely by knowing he has the option to quit work altogether or scale it back to part time or maybe he’s quit already & is doing part time or occasional consultancy to keep his hand in & brain working & ease the transition to full retirement (my DH did this)

• you’ve got the time and money to travel, have experiences & adventures & to make new memories as a couple & as a family

• you’ve got good physical and mental health (touch wood) to get the best out of life having reduced financial & work stress

Can’t believe I’m so invested in someone else’s move but I’m excited for you!! We’d like to do something very similar which explains my over enthusiasm but we live in a tourist area which has been clobbered by massive taxes re second homes/holiday homes which has virtually destroyed the property market overnight so we’re in quicksand for a while - don’t underestimate external forces & their impact on your plans.

Very best of luck with whatever you decide - life is short - go with your gut & do what makes you all happy xx

B, definitely.

B

Option B sounds the best option. House in pretty village will go up in value, too.

Sounds like you are very invested in option B so go for that! It sounds idyllic.

If this is your forever home I would just consider a few thing. Does the village have all the amenities you need that can be accessed without a car (if needed), shops, pharmacy, doctors, good local buses? Train station to bigger towns with hospitals etc? Just things to think of as we live somewhere where there is nothing in walking distance which can be a drag.

Why? They are not living there or paying for it.

Option B. Life is short - enjoy it whilst you can and are able to 😊

B of course. You won't be far away from friends

I agree! B wins hands down but make sure you don’t have to move again very quickly eg amenities are in place. Also, that you like the people in the village and it is welcoming to newcomers. Some villages can be a bit strange like that!

B!

B without hesitation!

we moved about same distance away from friends last year & go to much more effort to actually see them!!

This with bells on!! Option B

you want to do B

Totally Option B !!

Bonus if this place has the potential to extend

B

B

Option b

B. Better to have smaller space as you get older, as long as everyone has a room you will be fine. You will quickly adapt to a new area, so what if you or others have to travel a bit more, and you will have some cash to spend instead of watching the pennies trying to get some savings back. It's a no brainer.

Option B. Apart from anything else just looking at how you describe the options makes it clear that B is where your heart is - all positive language whereas you have pointed out more drawbacks to A and C. Having chosen early retirement over a bigger house we are very happy and feel we made the right decision. If your hobby is nearby and you can still accommodate your family and see your friends all the better. Not to be morbid but our time on this earth is limited so enjoying fun experiences would be my priority over a bigger house (which can become a bit of a liability as you get older - check out Gransnet!).

You’ve written it to make B seem like the best option for you, so you should probably go B!

Option B definitely for the reasons you’ve given but also because difficult though it may feel at the time, your DCs are of an age where in the next few years ( which will go so quickly) they’ll want to fly the nest and have their own lives. I think look to the future and do what’s right for you.

B. And from your description I think that's what you want to do.