Which house/life? Choosing today

[Longsummerdays25]

NC for this thread. For three years dh and I have been going over the same decision, and I would appreciate your input - what would you do in our positron?

We have a buyer for our house, and it’s progressing really rapidly. Dh is 58 and doing a high intensity job and getting very tired. I am working pt, I have just finished some new qualifications that will mean I can work more lucratively, and remotely if I wish (53) dc are late teens/early 20s. We must decide today a fairly life changing decision. We are downsizing.

Option A) Use all of our available funds to buy a bigger house than we need for the two of us in our immediate area, so that dc have plenty of space when they come back from uni, on the off chance they might remain with us for longer it has plenty of space, very close to my friends. Dh will have to work for at least another 3 years plus. We won’t have any spare funds to do anything beyond cover our bills/basic holidays for a good long while.

Option B) Move half an hour away to a pretty village, still within easy reach of our friends but they will not be on the doorstep. Beautiful area and it has a hobby I love to do that is easily accessible. Buy a smaller house but with enough bedrooms for each dc and a teen den for dc. Friends will have to travel 1/2 hour to see us at home but we usually meet in town, and that’s 20 mins away,. It would mean we could free up funds to have adventures or even buy a small place overseas which is a joint dream of ours. Dh can retire or go pt as soon as he needs to.

Option C) move back to family town which is commutable to London but dc’s friends are here and they won’t know anyone. The upside is they can live closer to London for work eventually. Assuming they want to.

WWYD?

We need to make an offer before we run out of time!

Thabk you

Option B. Half an hour is nothing, we live that distance and more from friends we see on a weekly basis. Sounds like a no-brainer, what's the drive behind option A other than more space?

B, it's only 20 mins to town to meet with friends, you have enough space, sounds like a good area, will make life easier. You will also meet new people.

B

If you can afford it, it’s here that renting for a short period of time might be useful. You won’t be able to recreate the kids back from uni scenario (more likely than you think), but you can definitely learn more about your village option.

I’m making the opposite move - from a village in walking distance to the beach, back to the city. In theory it’s lovely but in terms of how I actually live my life, it’s impractical and isolating.

Option B. Are you going to start going full time in new job incase that's a factor re income by remaining part time?

B sounds the best. Hope it all goes well for you

Agree!

Without a shadow of a doubt, B

Option 4) you buy a smaller house where you are? Isnt that feasible? That way you free up some funds, your friends are on your doorstep and you can still have enough bedrooms for all DCs

B, exciting!

B. Now is not the time to be stretching yourself ( and the DC will still come).

B
You put the work in to keep up with friends.

I would definitely go for B. It sounds like an opportunity which doesn’t pop up every day, and a bit of a slower pace of life 🙂

It's a B from me !

I can work full time yes, but would prefer to work more hours but with some flexibility. I have noticed we are definitely more risk adverse now. I would love to choose option B as it has so much possibility but what if we hate it? Or friends feel we are too far out to bother coming? Which I know sounds totally lame, but I guess I am not as relaxed about change these days as I used to be. Even though I really don’t like living where we are now! Sounds really ridiculous when I consider it now in black and white.
I am scared to make a mistake.

I'm the most indecisive person in the world and even I can see this is an easy one: B

I agree B, but don't expect DC to bounce home if there aren't work or commute opportunities reachable from the village. If it's the size of house you'd buy anyway for you and DH and so they could visit occasionally do that, but not if it's bigger than needed. PIL did this kind of move while dh was at uni, he never moved back because any kind of commute from where they moved to made most graduate type jobs unfeasible, then used to say what was the point rattling around when he didn't want to live there. What do your DC think out of interest.

Option B obviously.

A and C seem all about pleasing other people.

If you make a mistake, you make a mistake. It’s not completely unfixable!

I'd friends think 30 mins is too far to visit they not real friends....I've a friend travelling 2 and half hours to see me this weekend. Go with your gut ..

B. For all the reasons you have stated. Plus if it is slightly inconvenient for your DCs it is an incentive to be more independent earlier than what they might have. Know it is difficult for young people (have a 21 yr old) but I don't think it helps them if 'home' is too perfect either. They need an incentive to make their own way in the world.

B. You can’t ‘ really’ afford A. Who wants that financial pressure?

But you’ve said you normally meet friends in the nearby town anyway so where you live is not going to put them off

Option B.

This does seem like a good idea, but I only like the proximity of my friends here and not the area itself really. It’s really quiet, with so little to do. It would feel like a bit of a life sentence to me living out my days here. The only upside being convenience.

Unless if @Longsummerdays25 you did work full time and there wouldn't be financial pressure?
But honestly B sounds best. 20 mins is nothing! We're 20 mins from a shop after 6pm!!