Which house/life? Choosing today

[Longsummerdays25]

NC for this thread. For three years dh and I have been going over the same decision, and I would appreciate your input - what would you do in our positron?

We have a buyer for our house, and it’s progressing really rapidly. Dh is 58 and doing a high intensity job and getting very tired. I am working pt, I have just finished some new qualifications that will mean I can work more lucratively, and remotely if I wish (53) dc are late teens/early 20s. We must decide today a fairly life changing decision. We are downsizing.

Option A) Use all of our available funds to buy a bigger house than we need for the two of us in our immediate area, so that dc have plenty of space when they come back from uni, on the off chance they might remain with us for longer it has plenty of space, very close to my friends. Dh will have to work for at least another 3 years plus. We won’t have any spare funds to do anything beyond cover our bills/basic holidays for a good long while.

Option B) Move half an hour away to a pretty village, still within easy reach of our friends but they will not be on the doorstep. Beautiful area and it has a hobby I love to do that is easily accessible. Buy a smaller house but with enough bedrooms for each dc and a teen den for dc. Friends will have to travel 1/2 hour to see us at home but we usually meet in town, and that’s 20 mins away,. It would mean we could free up funds to have adventures or even buy a small place overseas which is a joint dream of ours. Dh can retire or go pt as soon as he needs to.

Option C) move back to family town which is commutable to London but dc’s friends are here and they won’t know anyone. The upside is they can live closer to London for work eventually. Assuming they want to.

WWYD?

We need to make an offer before we run out of time!

Thabk you

B without hesitation

A – for a laugh

B

I mean we have to drive 20-30 minutes just to get to a supermarket. It really isn’t far at all. I would definitely do option B.

Absolute no-brainer for me - Option B every time.

B… maybe a deffo not c

Option B sounds right. Do some living, don’t make the mistake of thinking everything will be the same in three years time. We had travel plans that went out of the window when DP slipped, broke his ankle & that led to DVTs & PEs, from which he will never 100% recover, our world has shrunk considerably. Don’t take your future for granted.

You clearly want to do B. It sounds good except for being further from your friends. If you're confident you'll still be able to meet up easily, go for it!

Option B.

A wouldn’t be a goer for me, because I’d be worried about having a big old house that you’ve sunk everything in to, then your circumstances change. the market dips, there’s some crazy law change, utilities increase even more and suddenly there’s nobody to buy the house but you can’t afford to stay there and you’re looking at repossession and financial ruin.

Option C is a possibility, is your youngest still at school though? Ripping the dc away from their friends and plonking them somewhere new is something I’d be keen to avoid if I possibly could, because there’s a lot to be said for that community they already have. Plus, how do the finances stack up on it?

This random internet stranger agrees with the rest of the thread, it’s got to be option B!

I live quite rurally so it's totally normal to be a 20-30 minute drive from friends. Option B sounds just fine to me - my parents moved to a smaller house when I was late teens and I encouraged them to do it and didn't mind at all. And I didn't even get my own room in the new place! I guess it depends on your area but where I came from, all my friends went to uni too and we mostly didn't come back to live there. Your DC will also benefit if your husband can retire and they get more time with him when they are home.

B obviously! To be honest it doesn’t sound like a particularly hard decision based on how you’ve phrased option B versus the other two. No brainer!

OPTION B

B for me. If it gives you extra cash and the DC don't already have them, maybe buy them cars so it's easier for them to get out and meet people.

Village life is great as an adult, but teens/early 20's will want to get out and not have to rely on rural public transport.

Half an hour really isn't far and 20 mins is nothing. We're half an hour from DH's family and it's no bother for us to go to them or vice-versa.

B or C.

I would choose C because of all the stuff that is available in London

Option B.

I’m 20 minutes from my partner and we see each other every day! YABU to think the distance is an issue.

YAAlsoBU to worry about ‘downsizing’ to a house with ‘only 2 reception rooms and a bedroom each for your kids’. That’s the dream for some of us. My friend recently downsized and her DS unexpectedly came home from working away and now lives on the sofa with his belongings in his sister’s room! And everyone is still happy, being considerate of his privacy in this communal space and making the best of it.

I’m sure your DCs will get on board either way but the potential holiday home overseas would swing it for my kids. And the rest of it should swing it for you and DH!

it would b B for me but only your know if living ‘rural’ would suit your lifestyle
good luck

Look at how you have written your options. B has all the positives, the others have the negatives. You want to do B, so do it. If it was a bad decision then you can move again.

B

B

We’re in the same boat (although not put the house on the market yet) and think we are going for Option B ourselves once youngest has sat A levels next summer - we are after something smaller to what we have now but with some land around us; hoping to free up capital this way to buy a 2-3bed flat in London as both teens will be there for uni and DH works there at the moment. He finds the commute and continued long hours knackering, frankly, so having a home from home in town, but peace/space/tranquility [more dogs] in a more rural setting would cushion the last 5 years or so of his working life.

So def Option B, esp if it means you might be able to get a holiday home on the side!

Option B. Imagine if you stay where you are and then your friends move (divorce, job, whatever - people make decisions that will surprise you). You'd be gutted!

B all the way - it gives you the option of two lives: your current one with your friends; and another one as part of the village. 30 mins is nothing!

Option B, I'll bet when you decide you'll know it's the correct choice.

Option B all the way