Page 11 | He wants to meet without children

UniqueTraybake · 2025-03-17T15:14:27+00:00

I'm part of a single parent what's app group and we live in a big city One guy has recently joined and has attended a social. He's got his child 50:50. It was the weekend and he messaged the group asking if anyone wanted to meet, he didn't have his child and he's the only single man in our group. We are mostly donor children. What do you think, aibu in thinking that's weird?

Doggymummar · 17/03/2025 20:34

Shamrocker · 17/03/2025 16:54

And literally no other form of childcare for any of you?

See that is strange.

Perhaps he assumed at least one of you might know or be related to a babysitter or childminder 😳

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Maybe they could take it in turns to watch each other kids ( you know. Like friends do) so they could all go out every now and then

ForestFox44 · 17/03/2025 20:36

User12435687 · 17/03/2025 15:22

I'm so confused by what is weird here, except your response, which is incredibly odd.

Me too! Why is him wanting to meet socially with people from the same group weird? I'm lost

CJsGoldfish · 17/03/2025 20:36

KnewYearKnewMe · 17/03/2025 19:15

I read the OP as saying that a dad has joined a mainly mums parent group. He’s asking to meet up with a mum and HER kids on the weekends he DOES NOT have his own kids.

that’s a bit odd, in my book, and on almost any other MN thread, would send alarm bells ringing with many posters.

you’re right to be wary, OP.

at best, he sounds a bit full on and unaware of the group dynamic.

Not how I read it.
He's new to the group and child free for the weekend. Perfectly reasonable to ask if anyone else is free to catch up as well. It is also reasonable to assume other single parents have child free time as well 🤷‍♀️

Can't imagine he'll be around too long if he is not a good 'fit' for the group.

The only odd one here is the OP. I could take a guess why but I don't think I need to 😆

cocoromo · 17/03/2025 20:36

NaomhPadraigin · 17/03/2025 15:22

Not even to an adult only spa?

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Emily and Millie….is that you?

Hoppinggreen · 17/03/2025 20:38

Bitofanchange · 17/03/2025 19:35

So is the group single parents or donor mothers?

Seems extremely odd that a single parents group has so many donor mothers in it?

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Not if they are mostly or wholely lesbians

Liverpool52 · 17/03/2025 20:40

AlexandrinaH · 17/03/2025 18:32

I have a male friend

How very dare you?!!! 😂😂

@Liverpool52 , your poor friend though. That’s really sad and I hope he managed to make some friends.

Indeed. I put shock in square brackets because I know how males and females being friends sparks the pearl clutchers here but it came up with that face.

He's all good now the kids are older. But his experience of being a single dad was pretty depressing.

Iwannakeepondancing · 17/03/2025 20:49

UniqueTraybake · 17/03/2025 15:21

It's 50:50 so he has them all the time.

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Doesn’t 50:50 mean he has them half the time?!

HellDorado · 17/03/2025 21:15

UniqueTraybake · 17/03/2025 15:24

You are weird for thinking what you think

Two can play that game

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Are you sure you’re mature enough to have a child?

Namechangelikeits1999 · 17/03/2025 21:21

Why are posters still being mean to the op?! So unnecessary! It's clear what she meant. There's a weird guy on a group she's in who's giving off creepy vibes. Surely more than one person on here has had a similar experience and can relate to the op, no matter how badly worded? It's not cool or clever to gang up on an op (who's already said she's a lone parent with zero support, so give her a frigging break!)

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 17/03/2025 21:30

UniqueTraybake · 17/03/2025 15:45

Yes I think it's because he just left it very open.... And the message for a date five months later.

Oh and he also wrote "I envisioned us all going camping". Just comes across as too much

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Talk to him for a couple of minutes and he'll back right off. Be yourself.

Crazybaby123 · 17/03/2025 21:30

This thread is bonkers. Op you make no sense😂
50/50 custody but has the kids all the time
Not allowed to go out without a child present.
No meeting with adults without your child.
Op i think you need some sleep and to revisit your thoughts when you are less tired

Subwaystop · 17/03/2025 21:54

Namechangelikeits1999 · 17/03/2025 21:21

Why are posters still being mean to the op?! So unnecessary! It's clear what she meant. There's a weird guy on a group she's in who's giving off creepy vibes. Surely more than one person on here has had a similar experience and can relate to the op, no matter how badly worded? It's not cool or clever to gang up on an op (who's already said she's a lone parent with zero support, so give her a frigging break!)

Thank you. Posters here are being schoolyard bullies

queenmeadhbh · 17/03/2025 21:55

OP please please please explain what the hell you meant when you said 50-50 = has kids all the time!

Cowabunga33 · 17/03/2025 22:24

I’m reading this at the end of the day going to sleep and I honestly feel like I took a load of drugs I didn’t know I took…………what.am.i.reading………..

HerOopNorth · 17/03/2025 22:31

Namechangelikeits1999 · 17/03/2025 19:27

@HerOopNorth you really haven't heard of donor sperm?

You appear to be the only one who is supporting OP.

Yes of course I have I've heard of donor sperm.

Bu not in the way the OP has described it.

We are mostly donor children.

That means, if you read it correctly, that she was conceived using donor egg/ sperm. '"we" meaning HER.

Is she the child of donor sperm/egg or is her child?

ElleintheWoods · 17/03/2025 22:33

If one of the mums wanted to meet for a coffee without the children, would you meet them?

What’s so different about a man wanting to socialise with other parents?

HerOopNorth · 17/03/2025 22:35

Namechangelikeits1999 · 17/03/2025 21:21

Why are posters still being mean to the op?! So unnecessary! It's clear what she meant. There's a weird guy on a group she's in who's giving off creepy vibes. Surely more than one person on here has had a similar experience and can relate to the op, no matter how badly worded? It's not cool or clever to gang up on an op (who's already said she's a lone parent with zero support, so give her a frigging break!)

'Being mean' is another way of saying posters disagree with her opinion.

This is AIBU.

If she came back and answered some questions instead of being rude and telling posters not to post or ask questions, she might get more helpful replies.

It's not as if he's asked her out on a date is it?

He's messaged the whole group to ask if anyone wants to do anything at the weekend.

Obviously she can't as she hasn't a babysitter.

But why does she think the invite was aimed at her in particular and why get upset over it?

Bitofanchange · 18/03/2025 06:47

Subwaystop · 17/03/2025 21:54

Thank you. Posters here are being schoolyard bullies

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Posters are not being mean, they’re saying OP is being unreadable.

She chose to be a single mother with a donor, her choice, so why because of that is her BU to be excused?

Bitofanchange · 18/03/2025 07:00

Bitofanchange · 18/03/2025 06:47

Posters are not being mean, they’re saying OP is being unreadable.

She chose to be a single mother with a donor, her choice, so why because of that is her BU to be excused?

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*unreasonable

thislifer · 18/03/2025 09:47

HerOopNorth · 17/03/2025 19:12

Sill waiting for some insight into what a donor is.

I can only imagine it's a man donating his sperm.

But is there a group for women who use sperm donors?

How does this work?

Of course there are groups. There are groups for pretty much everything. There's a tiny town near me that has a group for people who live in that town and own sausage dogs. That's pretty niche wouldn't you say?

lazycats · 18/03/2025 09:49

UniqueTraybake · 17/03/2025 15:16

Yes, but I couldn't imagine going somewhere without my child?

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That’s weird and not something to be proud of.

thislifer · 18/03/2025 09:52

Bitofanchange · 17/03/2025 18:32

Why do you deem the single mums as desperate?

Very misogynistic!

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Subway is clearly being sarcastic. She doesn't think that but this guy many be one of the many men (married or not) who think single mums are sad, lonely and desperate and up for shagging anyone with a dick who shows them a slither of attention.

Bitofanchange · 18/03/2025 10:00

thislifer · 18/03/2025 09:52

Subway is clearly being sarcastic. She doesn't think that but this guy many be one of the many men (married or not) who think single mums are sad, lonely and desperate and up for shagging anyone with a dick who shows them a slither of attention.

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I don’t think the poster was being sarcastic at all, I don’t think the man in question is particularly after “getting his dick wet”, I do think the OP has an extremely strange view of men.

This may be why she’s a donor mum.

She is however in a group of single parents, some of which are male, do they may suggest meet ups (in a group as he did), when they are child free.

The fact that the OP is shocked by the thought of going anywhere without her children, is weird.

If the man is after getting “his dick wet”, then I think OP would not be on the list of possibles. No one wants Milly with Emily on a date, do they!

thislifer · 18/03/2025 10:03

Bitofanchange · 18/03/2025 10:00

I don’t think the poster was being sarcastic at all, I don’t think the man in question is particularly after “getting his dick wet”, I do think the OP has an extremely strange view of men.

This may be why she’s a donor mum.

She is however in a group of single parents, some of which are male, do they may suggest meet ups (in a group as he did), when they are child free.

The fact that the OP is shocked by the thought of going anywhere without her children, is weird.

If the man is after getting “his dick wet”, then I think OP would not be on the list of possibles. No one wants Milly with Emily on a date, do they!

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Well, aren't you pleasant.

Bitofanchange · 18/03/2025 10:06

thislifer · 18/03/2025 10:03

Well, aren't you pleasant.

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What’s unpleasant about that!