He wants to meet without children

[UniqueTraybake]

I'm part of a single parent what's app group and we live in a big city

One guy has recently joined and has attended a social. He's got his child 50:50.

It was the weekend and he messaged the group asking if anyone wanted to meet, he didn't have his child and he's the only single man in our group. We are mostly donor children.

What do you think, aibu in thinking that's weird?

Weird and I wouldn't meet with him x

At a guess, the wife got the friends in the divorce, and he's looking to build friendships both with and without the children - perhaps even romance. None of that seems unreasonable?

Obviously no-one needs to meet him without kids if they don't want to, and he will be evaluated on his behaviour, but if all is OK it seems fine.

Yes, but I couldn't imagine going somewhere without my child?

Not necessarily weird. If he’s not got his kids for the weekend, maybe he was hoping other single parents might be in the same boat and want a night out?

Good grief, really? That seems odd.

What, never? That's more weird! And not healthy for thr child.

Yes I guess so.

I think it's just how he said it.

He also asked to meet in the summer over a few dates, but he asked in February

I don't really understand what's weird. I assume he was lonely and might have thought other single parents might feel the same and that as there are sometimes socials with children then perhaps people meet up without them too? Is there certain rules of this social club that you can only meet with children, if so maybe you need to explain that is the purpose of the group to him and perhaps link him to any general social groups you might know of in the area.

But do you have 50:50 ? If so, and the timings aligned, I'd not think weird- unless he singled you out and it's uncomfortable for you? In which case don't go. I meet up with people without my kids.

And sent leaflets about damp and mould.

And also said he was willing to help with people's renovations etc. as he's into property development.

Which I guess he's being helpful

Is that through choice of necessity? Do you have someone to share childcare with?

If you feel there is something off, trust your gut.

He's got his child 50/50 so you would like him to do what for half the week? He's not unreasonable in presuming that in a group for single parents there might be other single parents who are also without their children sometimes and at a loose end looking for friends in a similar boat. Doesn't sound too sinister?

Might that be when the children are with the ex or gps?

He asked on the day..... It wasn't an event he wanted to go to or any particular thing, so I'm not sure why he asked.... He also didn't say "hey I'm child free if anyone wants to meet for adult time" which I guess is leaving stuff open.

I don’t think it’s weird. The purpose of these sorts of groups is to socialise and most people can imagine going out without their children. He wants to make friends and/or find romance. All pretty normal IMO.

It's 50:50 so he has them all the time.

"We are mostly donor children"

Does this mean the adults in the WhatsApp group are mostly donor conceived themselves and now single parents? Or the adults are mostly single parents to donor conceived children? How/why would a single man join the group?

Either way, if you don't want to meet him then don't reply or go.

I'm so confused by what is weird here, except your response, which is incredibly odd.

Doesn’t that mean he’ll have them 50% of the time?

Not even to an adult only spa?

You don’t go anywhere without your child? How old is your child - is he/she a newborn still?

I've either banged my head, or you are making no sense.

I think you’re weird for thinking it’s weird for a single parent wanting to meet up without his kid, on a weekend he doesn’t have his kid (because the kid’s with their other parent). Are adults with children only allowed to socialise with other adults with their children present? Just because you have your kid all the time doesn’t mean everyone else does.

Oh yes of course! So maybe term time etc. didn't think about it