He wants to meet without children

[UniqueTraybake]

I'm part of a single parent what's app group and we live in a big city

One guy has recently joined and has attended a social. He's got his child 50:50.

It was the weekend and he messaged the group asking if anyone wanted to meet, he didn't have his child and he's the only single man in our group. We are mostly donor children.

What do you think, aibu in thinking that's weird?

I read the OP as saying that a dad has joined a mainly mums parent group. He’s asking to meet up with a mum and HER kids on the weekends he DOES NOT have his own kids.

that’s a bit odd, in my book, and on almost any other MN thread, would send alarm bells ringing with many posters.

you’re right to be wary, OP.

at best, he sounds a bit full on and unaware of the group dynamic.

I had to read the message a few times to try to understand what the problem was.

He's a single person and single parent asking a group of acquaintances if anyone wants to do something. He doesn't have his kid this weekend. He's probably really lonely and just wondered if anyone wanted to grab a drink or see a film! Obviously he's trying to make friend and widen his social circle, and make use of his child-free time to get out a bit more.

Your post is a bit unclear. When you say "we are donor children" do you mean that the adults were conceived by donor and IVF and that's the reason for the commonality of the group, or that the children in the group were conceived that way? And what does that have to do with the price of fish anyway?

I'm confused, both by the donor ref and by the issue with a group member wanting to get together with other group members.

I think you’ve read it wrong!

He’s not done that at all, by my reading.

@HerOopNorth you really haven't heard of donor sperm?

He just wants to make friends with adults

Your replies are so strange

He’s joined a group to presumably make friends. He asked if anyone wanted to socialise. It was an invitation not a summons. You can say no each and every time he asks. He seems normal and I’m glad you didn’t meet up with the poor guy.

Sure, and doner kebabs. OP is still very hard to fathom.

Exactly 👍

That makes no sense.

Is this one of those awful threads where the OP just posts cryptic comments telling half a tale and never engages with people?

So is the group single parents or donor mothers?

Seems extremely odd that a single parents group has so many donor mothers in it?

I don’t have a donor conceived child but I’m not sure what you’re not getting? Yes the OP worded it weirdly originally. But yes it tends to mean donor conceived children. That can either mean by donor sperm or donor eggs (or both). There are huge support networks for parents of donor conceived children so what’s so odd about them forming a support group that involves a WhatsApp group? They won’t be going on only about donors obviously. It’ll just be a general group that formed because most of them are in similar circumstances. This happens all the time. It’s often good for donor conceived children to know other children in the same position as them growing up so they don’t feel like the odd one out.

This makes less sense than my 2 year old

Is the OP being generally unpleasant about the fathers of the various children within this meet up group, by referring to them as sperm donors, rather than ex partners or the children's fathers? Or there really is a meet up group of women with babies conceived by donor sperm, with no contact with the bio dad?

Anyway, this bloke sounds like he's reaching out to make friends, not for anything sinister. The comment about the damp and mould information he provided, is just batshit though - OP thinking it weird, not the bloke for (presumably) trying to drum up some local business.

The OP muddied her own post a little with some odd language usage and saying that she didn't want to do anything without her child but I don't know why everyone is finding the issue so confusing.

OP has had a weird vibe from a man who has joined a group set up to support single parents who happen to be mostly Mums who used IVF on their own so have no co-parent around. They've obviously been open to other single parents joining the group but I imagine it's been functioning mainly as a support group for advice, not a social networking group.

So amongst posts asking for advice on different parenting issues, and presumably some issues specific to having gone the solo parent route in comes a new member who is a man who is very different to the group profile and who is posting about meeting up, going camping in the summer, and eager to advise on DIY and house mould. I'm sure it seemed very odd.

At best he doesn't seem to have read the room very well. At worst he's potentially not being honest about his background etc.

Ever?

Just because you have your kid 100% doesn't mean every other single parent does..I could be part of your group as a single parent a s my social circle isn't big so on the weekends I don't have my child I'd be happy to meet up with other parents in same situation

Emily? Is that you?

🫣 this thread is odd.

Thats incorrect she said he has his kids 50/50.

In what world would someone, who used a donor or not, think 50:50 meant 100% of the time?! 😂

It’s giving me Anchorman, “60 per cent of the time, it works every time.”

Is the group called SPAT?

Many of your posts are extremely reasonable but what you're all missing is that (IF this is the same WhatsApp group as the one I'm in) this man actually did hit on women via that group in a very creepy way! One called him a sex pest!

I think I need to introduce you to Emily, I’m sure she’ll be grateful for a new group to worship Milly.

Don’t expect Milly to spend time with your child though, she’ll be getting ready to lead the group whilst Emily looks on smiling in adoration at how mature and wise she is.

The one I'm in isn't, which isn't necessarily the one OP is in!

Emily, is that you??